Tuesday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (8/1-8/11):

[Frank Gannucci]

"The Deciding Vote":

Ed: "I would say that by listening to that motor there that the amateor sprocket is causing interference which in turn causes the combustion line to interfere with the flow in the dynaflow."

Ralph: "Now what does that mean?"

Ed: "I don't know."

"Pal O' Mine":

Trixie: "Seeing you alive is like finding a million dollars."

Ed: "If that is the case, let Trixie pay for the coffee."

"Funny Money":

Ralph: "Money. I am a millionaire."

Ed: "There is enough here to keep you in pizza for the rest of your life."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Alice: "You got rocks in your head."

Ralph: "I got rocks in my head. I got rocks in my head. I got NOTHING in my head."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

(Everyone is in the super deluxe cottage.)

Alice: "It takes your breath away."

"Mr. Mosby": "We have heard that before."

Trixie: "I have never seen a place like this."

"Mr. Mosby": "We have heard that before too."

Ed: "Va-va-va-voom!"

Ralph: "There is a new one for you."

"A Weighty Problem Part 2":

(Ralph sits down and eats his two celery sticks.)

Alice: "How do you like your dinner Ralph?"

Ralph: "You mean to tell me that that was my dinner. What are the fork and knife for, to commit suicide with?"

"Operation: Protest":

Alice: "Clifford hates momism."

Ralph: "Send him to his papa."

Alice: "He can't."

Ralph: "Where is his dad hiding?"

Alice: "He is in the Navy. He is up on the North Pole counting seals."

Ralph: "He's hiding."

"Operation: Protest":

(Ralph wants to beat up Clifford for costing him his job.)

Alice: "You are going to hate yourself in the morning."

Ralph: "True, but I will be happy tonight."

"Double Trouble":

Trixie: "There are two Ralph's."

Ed: "You mean that the weight Ralph lost formed into another person?"

(AmericanLife TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

Fri. Aug. 1 10p & Sat. Aug. 2, 2008 12a #16 – “Ralph Kramden Presents”: Ralph is asked to invite his celebrity friend that he always brags about, Jackie Gleason, to the annual Raccoons dance. In desperation, Ralph & Ed go over to the hotel that Gleason is staying to try to get him to come. Ralph gets to speak to Carney and Ed gets to speak to Gleason but in the confusion, nobody is invited to the dance. Alice promises Gleason the recipe for her anchovy pizza and he shows up at the dance. (VCR Plus Code for Fri.: 9246. For Sat.: 29130.)

Fri. Aug. 8 10p & Sat. Aug. 9, 2008 12a #17 – “Flushing Ho”: The Kramdens and Nortons, unable to make ends meet around tax time, decide to move to a large two-bedroom apartment in Flushing and split all expenses. The plan fails when Ralph complains of a dwindling food supply and insufficient time in the bathroom, so they all pack up and move back to Chauncey Street. (VCR Plus Code for Fri.: 9576. For Sat.: 42086.)


(WPIX & WPIX HD) [CW11]:

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

Mon. Aug. 4 & Mon. Aug. 11, 2008 1a “Honeymooners Viewers Choice Hour”: Viewers can go to cw11.com and vote for which episodes that they want WPIX to show. WPIX has set up a page on their website so viewers can see what “episodes” WPIX has the rights to. Voting starts every Monday at 2a. (Note: If a lost episode is shown, chances are it will be edited HEAVILY and it might be in CC.)

Channel
Day & Time
VCR Plus Code
WPIX 11
Mon. Aug. 4, 2008 1:00a
VCR+: 69100

WPIX HD
Mon. Aug 4, 1:00 AM
VCR+: 86758

WPIX 11
Mon, Aug 4, 1:30 AM
VCR+: 85636

WPIX HD
Mon, Aug 4, 1:30 AM
VCR+: 15704

WPIX 11
Mon, Aug 11, 1:00 AM
VCR+: 80850

WPIX HD
Mon, Aug 11, 1:00 AM
VCR+: 36966

WPIX 11
Mon, Aug 11, 1:30 AM
VCR+: 22324

WPIX HD
Mon, Aug 11, 1:30 AM
VCR+: 52492

(WGN America) (NOT the Chicago feed of WGN):

TV-PG???

Sun. Aug. 3, 2008 9p (CC) #017 - "The Baby-sitter": Ralph signals his displeasure when he learns that Alice had a telephone installed in the apartment. Then later, when he calms down, he overhears a telephone conversation and thinks that she is having an affair. (VCR Plus Code: 482086)

9:30P & Mon. Aug. 4, 2008 9p (CC) #018 - "The $99,000 Answer": Ralph Kramden's get-rich-quick schemes were a Honeymooners staple, but the pipe dream in "The $99,000 Answer"---which originally aired Jan. 28, 1956---may be the funniest. Convinced that he'll triumph on a quiz show, popular-music expert Ralph (Jackie Gleason) intensely prepares at home, aided by piano-playing pal Norton (Art Carney), who warms up for each song with a few bars of a familiar Stephen Foster melody, “Swannee River.” Of course, the second he's on live TV, Ralph's bravado vanishes. Going into the classic Kramden meltdown---the eyes bugging, the lips quivering, the tongue stuttering "hummina-hummina"---he's asked, for his first question, to identify the composer of "Swanee River." (VCR Plus Code for Sun.: 567241. For Mon.: 435704.)

Mon. Aug. 4, 2008 8p (CC) #001 - "TV or Not TV": Ralph and Norton go partners on a new TV, but Ralph rigs a coin toss so the set stays in the Kramden apartment. It's not long before Ralph becomes a total zombie to the new medium, and all Norton wants to do is don his space helmet and watch "Captain Video." (VCR Plus Code: 197487.)

8:30p (CC) #003 - "The Golfer": Hello, ball! That memorable salutation---delivered by Norton (Art Carney) as he shows the proper way to "address the ball"---has made "The Golfer" (first aired on Oct. 15, 1955) a favorite in the series canon. Ralph's trying to impress his boss by offering to join him in a foursome. Problem is, Ralph's never picked up a club in his life and learning to play in two days, he concedes, won't be easy---"It'd take me at least a week." That doesn't stop him from turning his kitchen into a fairway, using a pin cushion as a ball and, unforgettably, getting into the mood by donning an outlandish golfing outfit that is, to quote Norton, "dee-vine."(DON’T MISS Norton addressing the ball.)(VCR Plus Code: 926574.)

9:30p (CC) #020 - "Young At Heart": Ralph wants to prove to Alice that he's still young at heart by learning dances like the Big Apple and the Suzie Q., which prompts Norton to ask: "How can anyone so round be so square?" But he's still determined, so the Kramdens and the Nortons decide to make a night of it by going roller-skating. Ralph on wheels at the rink makes for one of the series' classic scenes. Another has Norton teaching Ralph how to do the Hucklebuck. (VCR Plus Code: 623487.)

Sun. Aug. 8, 2008 9p (CC) #019 - "Ralph Kramden Inc.": Ralph needs a loan from Norton, so he sells him a share of his future earnings as a corporation---Ralph Kramden, Inc. It's another con job by Ralph, of course, until he learns that an old woman with a $40 million estate died and left him in her will. That's enough for Norton, as an officer in the corporation, to remind Ralph about one "small detail"---that they need to bring a suitcase to the reading of the will to carry home the $40 million. (VCR Plus Code: 891942.)

9:30p #021 - "A Dog's Life": Ralph gets another one of his half-baked ideas after he samples a tasty dish he found in his ice box in "A Dog's Life," which was originally telecast Feb. 18, 1956. Convinced that the unusual cracker-spread will satisfy the public's appetite for a snack that's new and different, Ralph asks his boss, Mr. Marshall, to taste the dish in the hope that he'll bankroll production. Ralph's even cooked up a name for the culinary delight: "KramMar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer." Marshall tries it and likes it, and asks Ralph if the recipe is exclusively his wife's or if Alice's mother helped out. "Anything she'd cook I wouldn't give to a dog," Ralph replies. But Marshall wants some other opinions, so he calls in his assistants for another taste test. (VCR Plus Code: 974749.)


Credit goes to tvguide.com, Yahoo! Groups You’re A Riot, the old honeymooners.net & goodtv.com.