30 Celebrities who Gave their Kids Really Dumb Names - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Zoneboy · 07-24-2008, 05:28 PM

Link

In case you’re living in a cave somewhere, you’ll probably have noticed there’s a celebrity baby boom going on. In fact, babies have replaced really big bags and silly looking sunglasses as the accessory of choice. Many of these celebrity babies even come with designer names.

Bruce Willis and Demi Moore hit the dumb baby name trifecta with their three girls, Rumer Glenn, Scout LaRue and Tallulah Belle. With names like that is it any wonder they’re already spotted engaging in party and club hopping? Neither of them are over 21, either. This trio is destined to be famous for being famous. Not an after school job in the lot.

Bob Geldof and the late Paula Yates apparently wanted kids who would be teased mercilessly at school. The achieved this goal after they named their kids Peaches Honeyblossom, Fifi Trixibelle and Little Pixie Geldof.

You wouldn’t expect a mainstream baby name from Casey Affleck and Summer Phoenix. they named their son Indiana August Affleck. Now there’s a state I’d name my kid after.

Considering Alice Cooper’s stage show, it’s rather surprising he named his daughter Calico Dashiell. It could have been worse though, he could have named her Guillotine.

Michael Jackson thought Prince Michael had such a great ring to it, he used it to name both his sons. But don’t worry, he differentiates by calling his youngest boy “Blanket.” Daughter Paris is almost normal by comparison.

Perhaps Sonny and Cher were hoping for a pole dancer when they named their daughter Chastity. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Courtney Cox and David Arquette also have a daughter who won’t have to change her name if she decides to pursue a career in the adult industry. Coco Riley will do just fine.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin thought nothing wrong with naming their little girl Apple. Let’s hope she make it through middle school with no permanent damage.

Geri Halliwell named her little girl Bluebell Madonna. All I can say it’s a good thing she’ll be rich.

Toni Braxton and husband Keri Lewis named their sons after jeans and truck fuel - Denim and Diezel.

Here are more interesting celebrity baby names:

No list of unusual celebrity baby names would be complete without a nod to
the king of the dumb baby names. The late, great Frank Zappa and his wife Gail named their kids Moon Unit, Dweezil, Diva Muffin and Ahmet.

Woody Allen and Mia Farrow- Satchel Seamus and Moses Amadeaus.

Cher and Greg Allman - Elijah Blue

Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen - Wolfgang.

Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgewick - Sosie Ruth Bacon. Sounds like something you’d make for Sunday brunch.

David and Victoria Beckham have a trio of curiously named boys: Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz.

Eryka Badu - Seven Sirius Benjamin.

Nicolas Cage & Alice Kim - Kal-El Coppola Cage.

Jason Lee - Pilot Inspektor. There are no words.

Michael Hutchens and Paula Yates - Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. The mind bogles.

Joe Strummer - Jazz Domino

The Edge - Blue Angel. She’s going to fly jets.

Jermaine Jackson - Jermajesty. No. Really.

Penn Jillette - Zoltan and Moxie Crime Fighter.

Jamie Olivier - Daisy Boo and Poppy Honey.

Simon LeBon - Saffron Sahara, Tallulah Pine and Amber Rose which is quite tame in comparison.

Robert Rodriguez - Rocket, Racer, Rebel and Rogue. Guess he’s going for the badass vibe.

David Duchovny and Tea Leoni - Kyd. This way if they forget the name and yell “hey kid!” they have the right child.

Sylvestor Stallone - Sage Moonblood.

Bono - Memphis Eve. I hear he’s not much of a morning person.

Please note Zowie Bowie is not on this list. That’s because his real name is Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones, and Duncan Jones isn’t a dumb name.

To be continued…

LuLu Rogers · 07-24-2008, 05:41 PM

Actually the Beckham kids names aren't that bad, but the rest of those...wow!

Superstar · 07-24-2008, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zoneboy

Geri Halliwell named her little girl Bluebell Madonna. All I can say it’s a good thing she’ll be rich.

I don't think Bluebell Madonna is that bad. I wouldn't call a kid that, but compared some of the other names listed, it's pretty tame

I think Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's kids' names are terrible - Apple and Moses. -_-

LoveMrsG · 07-24-2008, 05:59 PM

I think they're all nuts!!! I don't understand why celebrities have to be so ridiculous when naming their children. How badly do they want their kids to be made fun of, anyway??? Jermajesty...Denim...Apple...??? Good Lord! And did Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen think they were living on The Munsters or something when their son was born??? YIKES!!!

LoveMrsG · 07-24-2008, 06:01 PM

Oh yeah, one more thing...I still can't get over Michael Jackson's son's name...BLANKET!!!

That poor kid's going to be picked on sooooo badly. I feel so sorry for him.

tv star collector · 07-24-2008, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveMrsG

I think they're all nuts!!! I don't understand why celebrities have to be so ridiculous when naming their children. How badly do they want their kids to be made fun of, anyway??? Jermajesty...Denim...Apple...??? Good Lord! And did Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen think they were living on The Munsters or something when their son was born??? YIKES!!!

Just to set the record straight, Valerie and Eddie named their son after
classical composer Wolfgang von Mozart. It sort of makes sense (albeit in
somewhat twisted way) when you consider that the child's father is a musician.

(It could've been worse; they might have named him after Ludwig von Beethoven!)

LoveMrsG · 07-24-2008, 06:12 PM

Sorry to keep replying like this, but I just thought of something else. You guys know Isabel Sanford, the woman who played "Weezy" on "The Jeffersons"? She's my most favorite actress ever, and I love Louise Jefferson soooo much, but while we're on the subject of celebrities' kids' names, I've seen in a couple of articles where her three children's names are listed: Pamela, Eric, and her other son's name is listed as Sanford Sanford. Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with her giving one of her sons her last name. A lot of women do that. I'm just saying that I REALLY hope that that was a misprint or something and that he hasn't gone through his life with the exact same first AND last name. It probably was just a mistake and she gave him her maiden name and he's got a different last name. Weezy would definitely have more sense and compassion than to stick her kid with the same first and last name.

LoveMrsG · 07-24-2008, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tv star collector

Just to set the record straight, Valerie and Eddie named their son after
classical composer Wolfgang von Mozart. It sort of makes sense (albeit in
somewhat twisted way) when you consider that the child's father is a musician.

(It could've been worse; they might have named him after Ludwig von Beethoven!)

You're right. It could have been a lot worse!

phoebe7165 · 07-24-2008, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveMrsG

Oh yeah, one more thing...I still can't get over Michael Jackson's son's name...BLANKET!!!

That poor kid's going to be picked on sooooo badly. I feel so sorry for him.

Yeah, but when he gets older and he tells people his name is Blanket, when they go HUH? all he has to say is my dad is Michael Jackson, then no other explanation is needed!!

So I guess the Phoenix kids names - River, Leaf(who later went back to his real name, Joaquin), Summer, Rain & Liberty are rather tame compared to some of those on that list!!

Then there's George Foreman who simply just named all his sons George!!

LoveMrsG · 07-24-2008, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoebe7165

Yeah, but when he gets older and he tells people his name is Blanket, when they go HUH? all he has to say is my dad is Michael Jackson, then no other explanation is needed!!

So I guess the Phoenix kids names - River, Leaf(who later went back to his real name, Joaquin), Summer, Rain & Liberty are rather tame compared to some of those on that list!!

Then there's George Foreman who simply just named all his sons George!!

Yeah, Summer, Rain, and Liberty do sound pretty tame compared to a lot of the others. And you're absolutely right. When he tells people his name and they go, "Huh?!" all he has to do is tell them who his father is and they'll immediately understand and sympathize!

Ireneparalegal · 07-24-2008, 07:13 PM

I have always liked Cher's daughter's name, Chastity. Back when Cher's son was born, Elijah Blue, I thought, "How awful." Now, I don't think much of it. Elijah is a boy's name, many have that name. I realize Blue is not a common name at all, but when you say his full name, it really doesn't sound bad at all. So, back then what we thought were horrible names, are now tame compared to what is now out there.

Chocolate Moose · 07-24-2008, 07:22 PM

Dont' forget John Revolting, errr Travolta; whose son is Jett.

PrettyinPink55 · 07-24-2008, 07:26 PM

Jermajesty!?!?!

BarneyFife · 07-24-2008, 08:02 PM

The worst one in my opinion is Wolfgang.

I would of grown up hating my parents if they named me that.

Ireneparalegal · 07-24-2008, 08:03 PM

^^^They call him WOLFIE.

Great name...at Halloween.

07-24-2008, 05:28 PM	#1
Zoneboy RIP, I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU :( Moderator Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 13, 2003 Location: AT HOME WISHING ALL THIS WAS JUST A DREAM AND THAT I'LL WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE. Posts: 34,414	30 Celebrities who Gave their Kids Really Dumb Names Link In case you’re living in a cave somewhere, you’ll probably have noticed there’s a celebrity baby boom going on. In fact, babies have replaced really big bags and silly looking sunglasses as the accessory of choice. Many of these celebrity babies even come with designer names. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore hit the dumb baby name trifecta with their three girls, Rumer Glenn, Scout LaRue and Tallulah Belle. With names like that is it any wonder they’re already spotted engaging in party and club hopping? Neither of them are over 21, either. This trio is destined to be famous for being famous. Not an after school job in the lot. Bob Geldof and the late Paula Yates apparently wanted kids who would be teased mercilessly at school. The achieved this goal after they named their kids Peaches Honeyblossom, Fifi Trixibelle and Little Pixie Geldof. You wouldn’t expect a mainstream baby name from Casey Affleck and Summer Phoenix. they named their son Indiana August Affleck. Now there’s a state I’d name my kid after. Considering Alice Cooper’s stage show, it’s rather surprising he named his daughter Calico Dashiell. It could have been worse though, he could have named her Guillotine. Michael Jackson thought Prince Michael had such a great ring to it, he used it to name both his sons. But don’t worry, he differentiates by calling his youngest boy “Blanket.” Daughter Paris is almost normal by comparison. Perhaps Sonny and Cher were hoping for a pole dancer when they named their daughter Chastity. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Courtney Cox and David Arquette also have a daughter who won’t have to change her name if she decides to pursue a career in the adult industry. Coco Riley will do just fine. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin thought nothing wrong with naming their little girl Apple. Let’s hope she make it through middle school with no permanent damage. Geri Halliwell named her little girl Bluebell Madonna. All I can say it’s a good thing she’ll be rich. Toni Braxton and husband Keri Lewis named their sons after jeans and truck fuel - Denim and Diezel. Here are more interesting celebrity baby names: No list of unusual celebrity baby names would be complete without a nod to the king of the dumb baby names. The late, great Frank Zappa and his wife Gail named their kids Moon Unit, Dweezil, Diva Muffin and Ahmet. Woody Allen and Mia Farrow- Satchel Seamus and Moses Amadeaus. Cher and Greg Allman - Elijah Blue Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen - Wolfgang. Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgewick - Sosie Ruth Bacon. Sounds like something you’d make for Sunday brunch. David and Victoria Beckham have a trio of curiously named boys: Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz. Eryka Badu - Seven Sirius Benjamin. Nicolas Cage & Alice Kim - Kal-El Coppola Cage. Jason Lee - Pilot Inspektor. There are no words. Michael Hutchens and Paula Yates - Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. The mind bogles. Joe Strummer - Jazz Domino The Edge - Blue Angel. She’s going to fly jets. Jermaine Jackson - Jermajesty. No. Really. Penn Jillette - Zoltan and Moxie Crime Fighter. Jamie Olivier - Daisy Boo and Poppy Honey. Simon LeBon - Saffron Sahara, Tallulah Pine and Amber Rose which is quite tame in comparison. Robert Rodriguez - Rocket, Racer, Rebel and Rogue. Guess he’s going for the badass vibe. David Duchovny and Tea Leoni - Kyd. This way if they forget the name and yell “hey kid!” they have the right child. Sylvestor Stallone - Sage Moonblood. Bono - Memphis Eve. I hear he’s not much of a morning person. Please note Zowie Bowie is not on this list. That’s because his real name is Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones, and Duncan Jones isn’t a dumb name. To be continued…
	__________________ 'Twas The Night Before Christmas And All Through The Full House Not A Creature Was Stirring, Not Even Mighty Mouse. All My Children We're Nestled All Snug In Their Beds While Visions Of Sugarbakers Danced In Their Heads. Last edited by Zoneboy; 07-24-2008 at 06:05 PM.

07-24-2008, 05:41 PM	#2
LuLu Rogers Colonel Brandon Forum Fanatic Join Date: Mar 23, 2004 Location: The Hogwarts Dungeons Posts: 11,013	Actually the Beckham kids names aren't that bad, but the rest of those...wow!
	__________________ -Lauren- "I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death."-Professor Severus Snape

07-24-2008, 05:59 PM	#4
LoveMrsG Future Emmy-Winning Writer Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 27, 2008 Location: In Mrs. G.'s mind: "Hmm, maybe I didn't know as much as I thought!" Posts: 783	I think they're all nuts!!! I don't understand why celebrities have to be so ridiculous when naming their children. How badly do they want their kids to be made fun of, anyway??? Jermajesty...Denim...Apple...??? Good Lord! And did Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen think they were living on The Munsters or something when their son was born??? YIKES!!!
	__________________ Mrs. Garrett: "Get the h*ll out of here or I'll beat you with my frying pan!"

07-24-2008, 07:13 PM	#11
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	I have always liked Cher's daughter's name, Chastity. Back when Cher's son was born, Elijah Blue, I thought, "How awful." Now, I don't think much of it. Elijah is a boy's name, many have that name. I realize Blue is not a common name at all, but when you say his full name, it really doesn't sound bad at all. So, back then what we thought were horrible names, are now tame compared to what is now out there.
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

07-24-2008, 07:22 PM	#12
Chocolate Moose Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 21, 2007 Location: Brooklyn, NY Posts: 4,900	Dont' forget John Revolting, errr Travolta; whose son is Jett.
	__________________ How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

07-24-2008, 06:01 PM	#5
LoveMrsG Future Emmy-Winning Writer Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 27, 2008 Location: In Mrs. G.'s mind: "Hmm, maybe I didn't know as much as I thought!" Posts: 783	Oh yeah, one more thing...I still can't get over Michael Jackson's son's name...BLANKET!!! That poor kid's going to be picked on sooooo badly. I feel so sorry for him.

07-24-2008, 06:12 PM	#7
LoveMrsG Future Emmy-Winning Writer Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 27, 2008 Location: In Mrs. G.'s mind: "Hmm, maybe I didn't know as much as I thought!" Posts: 783	Sorry to keep replying like this, but I just thought of something else. You guys know Isabel Sanford, the woman who played "Weezy" on "The Jeffersons"? She's my most favorite actress ever, and I love Louise Jefferson soooo much, but while we're on the subject of celebrities' kids' names, I've seen in a couple of articles where her three children's names are listed: Pamela, Eric, and her other son's name is listed as Sanford Sanford. Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with her giving one of her sons her last name. A lot of women do that. I'm just saying that I REALLY hope that that was a misprint or something and that he hasn't gone through his life with the exact same first AND last name. It probably was just a mistake and she gave him her maiden name and he's got a different last name. Weezy would definitely have more sense and compassion than to stick her kid with the same first and last name.

07-24-2008, 07:26 PM	#13
PrettyinPink55 Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 11, 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 24,601	Jermajesty!?!?!
	__________________ ♥♥♥

07-24-2008, 08:02 PM	#14
BarneyFife Retired Forum Fanatic Join Date: Mar 02, 2008 Posts: 8,460	The worst one in my opinion is Wolfgang. I would of grown up hating my parents if they named me that.
	__________________ BarneyFife has left the building.

07-24-2008, 08:03 PM	#15
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	^^^They call him WOLFIE. Great name...at Halloween.