Wacky Newspaper Headlines - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

tv star collector · 07-24-2008, 01:13 PM

A tip of the hat goes to local humorist Jim McKeown and to the South Carolina
Press Association Bulletin for these gems:

"March Planned For Next August"

"Defendant's Speech Ends in Long Sentence"

"Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water"

"Blind Bishop Appointed to See"

"LA Voters Approve Urban Renewal by Landslide"

"Patient at Death's Door -- Doctors Pull Him Through"

"Diaper Market Bottoms Out"

"Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped"

"Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store"

"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"

"Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin"

"Killer Sentenced to Die for the Second Time in 10 Years"

"Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One"

"Autos Killing 110 a Day -- Let's Resolve to Do Better"

"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While"

"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"

"Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years"

"Flaming Toilet Causes Evacuation at High School"

Chocoholic · 07-24-2008, 01:28 PM

dawsongirl · 07-24-2008, 05:20 PM

Flaming toilet?

BarneyFife · 07-24-2008, 07:36 PM

Very funny, i really like the first one, March planned For Next August.

Ireneparalegal · 07-24-2008, 07:46 PM

I love wacky headlines. Jay Leno does it every Monday on the Tonight Show. They are a crack-up.

Here are some:

PrettyinPink55 · 07-24-2008, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawsongirl

Flaming toilet?

Yeah, what's that all about??

LoveMrsG · 07-24-2008, 08:05 PM

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped....oh my gosh!!!!!!!!

catlover79 · 07-24-2008, 09:48 PM

I have loved Jay's headlines since I first started watching him 12 1/2 years ago!! I have all 5 headlines books he published. LOVE the wacky headlines!!!

InspectorExstead · 07-24-2008, 11:28 PM

"Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One"

07-24-2008, 01:13 PM	#1
tv star collector I Love Susie Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 18, 2005 Location: South Carolina Posts: 4,486	Wacky Newspaper Headlines A tip of the hat goes to local humorist Jim McKeown and to the South Carolina Press Association Bulletin for these gems: "March Planned For Next August" "Defendant's Speech Ends in Long Sentence" "Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water" "Blind Bishop Appointed to See" "LA Voters Approve Urban Renewal by Landslide" "Patient at Death's Door -- Doctors Pull Him Through" "Diaper Market Bottoms Out" "Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped" "Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store" "Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant" "Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin" "Killer Sentenced to Die for the Second Time in 10 Years" "Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One" "Autos Killing 110 a Day -- Let's Resolve to Do Better" "If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While" "Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures" "Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years" "Flaming Toilet Causes Evacuation at High School"

07-24-2008, 07:36 PM	#4
BarneyFife Retired Forum Fanatic Join Date: Mar 02, 2008 Posts: 8,459	Very funny, i really like the first one, March planned For Next August.
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07-24-2008, 07:46 PM	#5
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,689	I love wacky headlines. Jay Leno does it every Monday on the Tonight Show. They are a crack-up. Here are some: Attached Images
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07-24-2008, 08:05 PM	#7
LoveMrsG Future Emmy-Winning Writer Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 27, 2008 Location: In Mrs. G.'s mind: "Hmm, maybe I didn't know as much as I thought!" Posts: 783	Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped....oh my gosh!!!!!!!!
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07-24-2008, 09:48 PM	#8
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	I have loved Jay's headlines since I first started watching him 12 1/2 years ago!! I have all 5 headlines books he published. LOVE the wacky headlines!!!
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

07-24-2008, 01:28 PM	#2
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235

07-24-2008, 05:20 PM	#3
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,128	Flaming toilet?

07-24-2008, 11:28 PM	#9
InspectorExstead Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Oct 29, 2001 Location: The Golden State Posts: 12,902	"Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One"
	__________________ They killed my sister because she asked: "Where is my vote?" http://sosiran.com/ http://tapeshhd.com/index.php