Your opinions on a serious matter...

[sweetdiggity]

Ok, I would like as many opinions as possible on this, because I'm not sure what to do. There's lots of smart people here, and I'd like to hear what you all think. This will be long, I apologize in advance.

To fill you all in, my uncle died on Nov. 29th, 2007, and it was ruled accidental, but I don't think it was. I want to have this investigated, but I also don't want to stir up trouble and cause more pain in my family if I am wrong.

What happened:

My uncle/Godfather supposedly fell down his basement stairs on the evening of Nov. 24th. According to his wife - (who was at work), she called him that night, he said he fell, had a bad headache, but would be ok.
She got home at approximately 10pm, checked on him, noticed he had not gotten up, but had vomited, and then she left him lay there and WENT TO BED!!!

She claims that the next morning, she checked on him again, and he still hadn't moved. He couldn't talk, and was hardly breathing. She said she was going to leave him there AGAIN, until she noticed the severe injury on the back of his head. She FINALLY called 911, and he was rushed to the hospital and immediately put on life support.

Instead of calling his family members and informing us of his grave condition, she left him at the hospital shortly after arriving so that she could go about her day. Doing errands and bringing her daughter to the dentist was more important then her husband who was dying and all alone in the ICU??

She didn't go back to the hospital, OR call and check on him all day. The hospital called her that night and said "Things don't look good, he's having brain surgery right now." So then she finally called me and the rest of the family to tell us.

I went to the hospital immediately and waited for him to get out of surgery. He made it through, but the surgeon told us it was not likely that he would survive because his brain was so swollen he had to have parts of it, along with a piece of his skull removed.

His wife kept telling people he was drunk, and that she "found a bottle of Bailey's in the garage that was almost empty...and ONE can of beer in the trash"

Well, the doctor told us he was NOT drunk, so that was a little suspicious of her to keep insisting that he was drinking.

He was in a coma, for 3 days, and instead of grieving, or being sad, she was talking about how she was going to sell the house and crap like that. It was like she was clueless, careless or had no emotion. She was moving on and he wasn't even dead yet!

After being in a coma for 5 days, his organs started to fail and the doctors told her it was best to take him off life support ASAP. He died that night.

The staff could not fathom why she would leave him on the bottom of the stairs as long as she did. They said every second counts, but by the time he arrived, he was pretty much brain dead.

His wife's odd behavior continued...

At his funeral, she didn't even seem upset!! She was acting like it was a birthday party!!! Everyone commented on her odd behavior. She didn't shed one tear. She was telling people she was thinking of a place to put her Christmas tree!

She insisted on having him cremated, knowing damn well he didn't want that.

I can't help but wonder...was there really a phonecall the night he fell? Why did she keep leaving him?...on the bottom of the stairs and alone at the hospital!

It should be known that my uncle worked in the moving industry for 20+ years. I know accidents happen, but how does a guy who carried couches, heavy boxes, and all kinds of furniture up and down stairs for a living, fall down 8-10 carpeted stairs carrying a plate with pizza on it??

He joked several times that he was worth more dead than alive, because he had a large insurance policy if anything happened to him. I can't help but think maybe she wanted the money and that's why she let him die...IF he really fell down the stairs.

He was a big, tall guy, and I just can't believe how badly he was injured by falling down 8-10 steps. He had the head injury, several fractured ribs, lots and lots of bruises on the front and back of his body. Just doesn't seem right.

I found out a few days ago, that she met some guy on the internet and she's been dating him for awhile now! I don't expect her to be single forever, but damn, that was fast!! She has 3 kids, and I HOPE this guy she met on MySpace isn't a molester just preying on her to get to the kids.

She put the house on the market right away, and moved months ago.

I have a sick feeling that won't go away. I think her behavior then and now is too strange to just be ignored.

Anyone else think something is wrong here?
Should I call the police? Do you think they'd even look into it, or brush me off?

Thanks in advance for any responses!

[TripperFan]

I would have it investigated. Was your uncle a drinker usually? Could be she was fed up with it and assumed he had been drinking.

Regardless of whether he was or not, just the sight of someone you know has fallen, had a headache and especially vomited is definitely a sign that 911 should have been called immediately.

Maybe you could phone your local police station (NOT 911 - they'll have a direct number in the front of your phone book) and bounce it off a cop there without the rest of your family's knowledge just yet. Maybe they can open up an investigation but keep it quiet as to who tipped them off.

Something really stinks about this story and I fully agree with your suspicions.

That being said, I'm facing treatment for a brain tumour myself on Monday, and you've reinforced that I'm glad I'm opting for radiation rather than surgery. The swelling of the brain and/or bleeding scares the bejesus out of me.

[Mikado]

I agree with Cathie, you should make an apmt talk to a detective at the local police

[Ireneparalegal]

First of all sweetie, I am deeply sorry for this tragedy. I am shocked and saddened. My heart goes out to you and your family.


I agree with Cathy, there is something wrong here. You have instincts that tell you when something is wrong and in this case, they are running on HIGH.

Why was it considered an accident? Was there an autopsy?

Talk to a police officer but you may be directed to a district attorney instead. A district attorney would be the one to investigate and determine whether there was any foul play.

Are there any laws in your city/state that make it a crime for someone to NOT HAVE gotten help sooner for your uncle, meaning it was obvious he was ill, he had vomited, he was not responsive, yet she went to bed instead of calling 911. Could he have been saved had she gotten him help sooner?

I know I have more questions but for now, those are the ones that come to mind.

[TripperFan]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

First of all sweetie, I am deeply sorry for this tragedy. I am shocked and saddened. My heart goes out to you and your family.


I agree with Cathy, there is something wrong here. You have instincts that tell you when something is wrong and in this case, they are running on HIGH.

Why was it considered an accident? Was there an autopsy?

Talk to a police officer but you may be directed to a district attorney instead. A district attorney would be the one to investigate and determine whether there was any foul play.

Are there any laws in your city/state that make it a crime for someone to NOT HAVE gotten help sooner for your uncle, meaning it was obvious he was ill, he had vomited, he was not responsive, yet she went to bed instead of calling 911. Could he have been saved had she gotten him help sooner?

I know I have more questions but for now, those are the ones that come to mind.

Exactly Irene - I'm sure the laws vary from State to State, but I know here in Canada, there are definitely laws about taking no action when its obvious someone needs medical help immediately. I'm not sure exactly the term, but there is a legal term they use for it.

[Chocoholic]

Something does smell fishy. I would definitely see of your local PD could investigate it.

Originally Posted by TripperFan

That being said, I'm facing treatment for a brain tumour myself on Monday, and you've reinforced that I'm glad I'm opting for radiation rather than surgery. The swelling of the brain and/or bleeding scares the bejesus out of me.

I had no idea! You will certainly be in my prayers.

[sweetdiggity]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

First of all sweetie, I am deeply sorry for this tragedy. I am shocked and saddened. My heart goes out to you and your family.


I agree with Cathy, there is something wrong here. You have instincts that tell you when something is wrong and in this case, they are running on HIGH.

Why was it considered an accident? Was there an autopsy?

Talk to a police officer but you may be directed to a district attorney instead. A district attorney would be the one to investigate and determine whether there was any foul play.

Are there any laws in your city/state that make it a crime for someone to NOT HAVE gotten help sooner for your uncle, meaning it was obvious he was ill, he had vomited, he was not responsive, yet she went to bed instead of calling 911. Could he have been saved had she gotten him help sooner?

I know I have more questions but for now, those are the ones that come to mind.

Thanks, Irene! I appreciate it.

Yes, there was an autopsy. It annoys me to no end why they didn't look into this further. It was case opened, case closed! I guess it was considered an accident because they pretty much just accepted her story that he fell and hit his head while she was at work. They didn't seem to have any suspicions, and did a half-assed job, IMO!

It makes me think of Drew Peterson's wife, who supposedly drowned in a bath tub - we know now that that is not really what happened. Medical examiners are NOT always right.

I have looked, with no luck for a law about citizens having the duty to call 911. I think if she did not purposely kill him, she is still guilty of negligent homicide.

Yes, he'd be alive today, if she had called for help right away. The doctors and nurses told us so. While he was still in the ICU, an elderly lady was rushed in with a very similar injury. Help was called immediately, she had the same type of surgery, and she lived.

[Ireneparalegal]

I just thought of another question. Was the person who performed the autopsy an actual medical examiner or is it some sheriff deputy? I used to be under the assumption that official doctors were medical examiners, until I later learned that someone who has NOT HAD ANY MEDICAL SCHOOLING can be a medical examiner in some counties, states, etc. as long as they work for law enforcment or are appointed by their city or province.

[sweetdiggity]

Originally Posted by TripperFan

I would have it investigated. Was your uncle a drinker usually? Could be she was fed up with it and assumed he had been drinking.

Regardless of whether he was or not, just the sight of someone you know has fallen, had a headache and especially vomited is definitely a sign that 911 should have been called immediately.

Maybe you could phone your local police station (NOT 911 - they'll have a direct number in the front of your phone book) and bounce it off a cop there without the rest of your family's knowledge just yet. Maybe they can open up an investigation but keep it quiet as to who tipped them off.

Something really stinks about this story and I fully agree with your suspicions.

That being said, I'm facing treatment for a brain tumour myself on Monday, and you've reinforced that I'm glad I'm opting for radiation rather than surgery. The swelling of the brain and/or bleeding scares the bejesus out of me.

I hope all goes well with your radiation on Monday!! You are definitely in my thoughts, and I'm sure you'll be fine.

My uncle did drink, but just occasionally. And when he did drink, he wouldn't get really drunk. His wife worked nights, so he took care of their 3 kids in the evenings.

I agree with you, and I think that's the biggest red flag - that she didn't call 911.

Even 3 year olds can recognize when something is wrong and know to call 911!!!

It's hard for me to go ahead with this, but I am definitely going to call the police. I will ask them to keep my name out of it for now, in case my suspicions were wrong. But...I don't think they are.

Thank you to everyone for your replies/advice. It is deeply appreciated!

[sweetdiggity]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

I just thought of another question. Was the person who performed the autopsy an actual medical examiner or is it some sheriff deputy? I used to be under the assumption that official doctors were medical examiners, until I later learned that someone who has NOT HAD ANY MEDICAL SCHOOLING can be a medical examiner in some counties, states, etc. as long as they work for law enforcment or are appointed by their city or province.

Wow, that is frightening information. That should not be allowed.

I actually don't know. But, I am in the process of trying to get a copy of the autopsy report, so I will certainly find out.
I assumed it was a medical examiner, but now that I think about it, I'm not sure if he had it done at the hospital, or the medical examiner's office. I will find out.

[InspectorExstead]

i'm so sorry to hear about your uncle. there are definitely many holes in the entire story & things just don't add up.
i was wondering if your uncle might've had a large insurance policy, which would make sense as to why she was careless & thoughtless. and then i read it further on in your post.
are you the only one in your family that's brought this up? you mentioned people commented on her odd behavior at the funeral, but did anyone go any further than that?
it just doesn't make sense. leaving him after he had vommitted, and admitting she was going to leave him the next morning until she saw the injury. her negligent behavior just seems suspicious.
like you said, had she called the hospital earlier, he would still be alive today. assuming she didn't push him down the stairs herself, her negligent behavior resulted in delayed treatment which lead to his death.
you should definitely go to the local police station & talk to someone. like irene said, they might have you talk to the da instead. but at least talk to someone and see if you have a case.

[Ireneparalegal]

Originally Posted by sweetdiggity

Wow, that is frightening information. That should not be allowed.

I actually don't know. But, I am in the process of trying to get a copy of the autopsy report, so I will certainly find out.
I assumed it was a medical examiner, but now that I think about it, I'm not sure if he had it done at the hospital, or the medical examiner's office. I will find out.

Yes, at least get that info first. It is indeed frightening and there have been many, many, many cases where a person's death was ruled something other than homicide simply because of who performed the autopsy. In some states, a coroner's inquest can be conducted to establish whether someone did die a natural or unnatural death, if it can be considered accidental or non-accidental, etc. Usually a coroner's inquest comes abt because a family member or family members had the same kind of doubts as you have.

[dawsongirl]

She left him lying at the bottom of the stairs?! What a horrible woman! I'd definetly investigate this woman. If for nothing else than your piece of mind.

[sweetdiggity]

Originally Posted by InspectorExstead

i'm so sorry to hear about your uncle. there are definitely many holes in the entire story & things just don't add up.
i was wondering if your uncle might've had a large insurance policy, which would make sense as to why she was careless & thoughtless. and then i read it further on in your post.
are you the only one in your family that's brought this up? you mentioned people commented on her odd behavior at the funeral, but did anyone go any further than that?
it just doesn't make sense. leaving him after he had vommitted, and admitting she was going to leave him the next morning until she saw the injury. her negligent behavior just seems suspicious.
like you said, had she called the hospital earlier, he would still be alive today. assuming she didn't push him down the stairs herself, her negligent behavior resulted in delayed treatment which lead to his death.
you should definitely go to the local police station & talk to someone. like irene said, they might have you talk to the da instead. but at least talk to someone and see if you have a case.

Thank you.

I'm definitely not the only one who has brought this up. However, it never went further than us having suspicions. Many people are trying to get past it, they get upset even talking about it, so I don't bring it up. They figure, his body has been cremated, there's no evidence and there's nothing we can do. They say God will deal with her and we have to let it go. Sorry, that just isn't good enough for me. I really want to know what happened.

[InspectorExstead]

Originally Posted by sweetdiggity

Thank you.

I'm definitely not the only one who has brought this up. However, it never went further than us having suspicions. Many people are trying to get past it, they get upset even talking about it, so I don't bring it up. They figure, his body has been cremated, there's no evidence and there's nothing we can do. They say God will deal with her and we have to let it go. Sorry, that just isn't good enough for me. I really want to know what happened.

the fact that she was so insistent on getting him cremated is a little fishy as well. i can understand about opening up the past when trying to get over it, but definitely investigate it, just so you'll know what really happened & that you'll know you tried & didn't just leave it.