My Update On Mark - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Janice Johnson · 07-17-2008, 11:14 AM

Remeber my infamous ex-boyfriend Mark? We broke up a while ago, and I see so clearly now...... Mark was plain no good for me, and I basically dated him out of panic. To me, everyone is allowed to do things out of panic. I was going through panic, "I'm in my 20's, about to go to 25 and don't have a man! I don't want to be alone!

I was about ready to date any man who asked me out, which was not healthy or safe for me.

I even knowingly dated Mark, a bank fraud, who had thousands of dollars in debt, and who had three or four different jobs while we were dating

(see not safe for me).... Elle Woods called the Cosmopolitian Magazine, "The Bible," and she may have been right. I was reading, 'The Bible,

(Cosmo), and saw romantic advice that spoke right to me. If your man does not want to meet your parents, that's a bad sign and a red flag! Mark never wanted to meet my parents. He said, "We're both adults. If we were in high school, I would meet them. But we're not teenagers, so we don't need parental permission."

When my mother saw a picture of Mark that he had sent me on my cellphone, she said, "He looks like the Devil Incarnate!

All that is missing is the horns! Take his picture away from me!"

Not a good sign(I'll admit, even I got the chills looking at his picture)

Another red flag came when Mark told me that he wanted to take me to South Beach to go to dance clubs! I saw a BRIGHT RED FLAG go up! Why would you take a Christian girl to South Beach clubs?

A few days later, he said, 'If you want to remain my girlfriend, you gotta have sex with me." That was the deal breaker. The thought of having sex with him scared me. It freaked me out and I got an omnious vibe from thinking of having sex with him.

Plus, he smoked weed , played poker for money and got drunk a few times! That made me very uncomfortable. I don't need someone like that. Oh, and he wouldn't call me back for days,(when his phone was turned on), I was the one initiating the calls for 95% of the relationship and his cellphone was turned off like five times during our relationship(probably because he spent his money on weed and poker

).

Looking back, the reason i was so clingy with him, was basically because I didn't have many hobbies at the time, was desperate for a boyfriend, and i didn't realize my cellphone had so many "fun" things on it! At the time, I didn't realize that my cellphone had internet and lots of games that i could surf with and play with. When i found that out, I had better things to do then to be pining over Mark so much.

Recently, I reminded my mother that Mark once stood me up at a mall.(I had dropped my plans and jumped on a bus to go there to meet him) She replied, "That's probably because he figured that he couldn't do anything to you at a mall. " I had never thought about that. Maybe he just wanted to do something sexual with me, but figured it would be hard to in a public place.

In a way, I am glad that my parents treated me like a teenager instead of an adult in this Mark situation. They could have said, Janice, you're an adult, do whatever you want with Mark", but they didn't. My mom said she didn't trust Mark,(And she had been a big supporter of him before the picture and South beach/sex incident)and my dad said he felt something wasn't right with Mark. He said if he ever met Mark, he'd say, 'Get the hell away from my daughter!"

And, I thank all of you at SO who warned me about Mark, and to stay away from him. I have a feeling that without you and my parents, Mark probably would have turned me into a "bad" girl, and I probably would have been turned on to drugs, and getting drunk a lot.....

I'm kind glad Mark is out of my life. Mark just gave me a "creepy" vibe throughout the relationship......

sunshinefizzy · 07-17-2008, 02:20 PM

I'm very happy you are finally over him. I want you to remember that even though you may think yourself an idiot for staying with him that long, don't regret it. People arrive in your life to teach you something. You are a stronger, better person.

Hollow · 07-17-2008, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice Johnson

And, I thank all of you at SO who warned me about Mark, and to stay away from him. I have a feeling that without you and my parents, Mark probably would have turned me into a "bad" girl, and I probably would have been turned on to drugs, and getting drunk a lot.....

same...it was mostly people on this board who convinced me to end a turbulent/abusive relationship. no one can understand how difficult it is to do until they're in one, so it's important to watch out for red flags in someone before you become too dependent on them.

Janice Johnson · 07-18-2008, 10:54 AM

Yeah, dating someone out of panic.....not the best idea

Especially if that person is a bank fraud, a drunk, a weed smoker, and an all over creepy person......

Ireneparalegal · 07-18-2008, 02:44 PM

Well said Janice. We learn from our mistakes.

Janice Johnson · 07-18-2008, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Well said Janice. We learn from our mistakes.

Yeah whenever your mother says that your boyfriend looks like the Devil in a human form, she may be right! That picture of Mark scared me too!

Ireneparalegal · 07-18-2008, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice Johnson

Yeah whenever your mother says that your boyfriend looks like the Devil in a human form, she may be right! That picture of Mark scared me too!

Just reading what you told us abt him scared me.

Theda Bara · 07-18-2008, 08:41 PM

Janice, all of us, go through relationships, where the person we are dating is not good for us, but, we do not see that, because our feelings are in the way; we live and we learn, it is just a fact of life; trust me, I had my share of men in my life, that were HORRIBLE, but, due to the fact that I loved that person, I was unable, or was in denial, to clearly see that this individual was not really meant to be, or was did not treat me well; friends and family can say, what a jerk is he is or he is not good enough for you, but, it is your heart, not theirs.

catlover79 · 07-20-2008, 08:42 PM

Honey, beware of clingy, needy guys. Tara, Irene, Sarah, and I (and many others here at SO) have all had similar, HORRIBLE experiences. My advice is to walk away (or RUN) and NEVER look back. You won't regret it, sweetie!!

07-17-2008, 11:14 AM	#1
Janice Johnson Commercial Lover Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: May 30, 2003 Location: Miami, Florida Posts: 4,740	My Update On Mark Remeber my infamous ex-boyfriend Mark? We broke up a while ago, and I see so clearly now...... Mark was plain no good for me, and I basically dated him out of panic. To me, everyone is allowed to do things out of panic. I was going through panic, "I'm in my 20's, about to go to 25 and don't have a man! I don't want to be alone! I was about ready to date any man who asked me out, which was not healthy or safe for me. I even knowingly dated Mark, a bank fraud, who had thousands of dollars in debt, and who had three or four different jobs while we were dating (see not safe for me).... Elle Woods called the Cosmopolitian Magazine, "The Bible," and she may have been right. I was reading, 'The Bible, (Cosmo), and saw romantic advice that spoke right to me. If your man does not want to meet your parents, that's a bad sign and a red flag! Mark never wanted to meet my parents. He said, "We're both adults. If we were in high school, I would meet them. But we're not teenagers, so we don't need parental permission." When my mother saw a picture of Mark that he had sent me on my cellphone, she said, "He looks like the Devil Incarnate! All that is missing is the horns! Take his picture away from me!" Not a good sign(I'll admit, even I got the chills looking at his picture) Another red flag came when Mark told me that he wanted to take me to South Beach to go to dance clubs! I saw a BRIGHT RED FLAG go up! Why would you take a Christian girl to South Beach clubs? A few days later, he said, 'If you want to remain my girlfriend, you gotta have sex with me." That was the deal breaker. The thought of having sex with him scared me. It freaked me out and I got an omnious vibe from thinking of having sex with him. Plus, he smoked weed , played poker for money and got drunk a few times! That made me very uncomfortable. I don't need someone like that. Oh, and he wouldn't call me back for days,(when his phone was turned on), I was the one initiating the calls for 95% of the relationship and his cellphone was turned off like five times during our relationship(probably because he spent his money on weed and poker ). Looking back, the reason i was so clingy with him, was basically because I didn't have many hobbies at the time, was desperate for a boyfriend, and i didn't realize my cellphone had so many "fun" things on it! At the time, I didn't realize that my cellphone had internet and lots of games that i could surf with and play with. When i found that out, I had better things to do then to be pining over Mark so much. Recently, I reminded my mother that Mark once stood me up at a mall.(I had dropped my plans and jumped on a bus to go there to meet him) She replied, "That's probably because he figured that he couldn't do anything to you at a mall. " I had never thought about that. Maybe he just wanted to do something sexual with me, but figured it would be hard to in a public place. In a way, I am glad that my parents treated me like a teenager instead of an adult in this Mark situation. They could have said, Janice, you're an adult, do whatever you want with Mark", but they didn't. My mom said she didn't trust Mark,(And she had been a big supporter of him before the picture and South beach/sex incident)and my dad said he felt something wasn't right with Mark. He said if he ever met Mark, he'd say, 'Get the hell away from my daughter!" And, I thank all of you at SO who warned me about Mark, and to stay away from him. I have a feeling that without you and my parents, Mark probably would have turned me into a "bad" girl, and I probably would have been turned on to drugs, and getting drunk a lot..... I'm kind glad Mark is out of my life. Mark just gave me a "creepy" vibe throughout the relationship......

07-20-2008, 08:42 PM	#9
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,382	Honey, beware of clingy, needy guys. Tara, Irene, Sarah, and I (and many others here at SO) have all had similar, HORRIBLE experiences. My advice is to walk away (or RUN) and NEVER look back. You won't regret it, sweetie!!
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

07-17-2008, 02:20 PM	#2
sunshinefizzy Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 27, 2006 Location: Craptown Posts: 2,054	I'm very happy you are finally over him. I want you to remember that even though you may think yourself an idiot for staying with him that long, don't regret it. People arrive in your life to teach you something. You are a stronger, better person.

07-18-2008, 10:54 AM	#4
Janice Johnson Commercial Lover Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: May 30, 2003 Location: Miami, Florida Posts: 4,740	Yeah, dating someone out of panic.....not the best idea Especially if that person is a bank fraud, a drunk, a weed smoker, and an all over creepy person......

07-18-2008, 02:44 PM	#5
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	Well said Janice. We learn from our mistakes.

07-18-2008, 08:41 PM	#8
Theda Bara Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 27, 2006 Posts: 7,154	Janice, all of us, go through relationships, where the person we are dating is not good for us, but, we do not see that, because our feelings are in the way; we live and we learn, it is just a fact of life; trust me, I had my share of men in my life, that were HORRIBLE, but, due to the fact that I loved that person, I was unable, or was in denial, to clearly see that this individual was not really meant to be, or was did not treat me well; friends and family can say, what a jerk is he is or he is not good enough for you, but, it is your heart, not theirs.