Thursday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (including listings for WGN America)

[Frank Gannucci]

(6/6-6/15):

(AmericanLife TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the
shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

Fri. June 6 10p & Sat. June 7, 2008 12a #8 - "We Spy": Ralph and Ed wander onto a Russian firing range while visiting Germany and are mistaken for spies.
(VCR Plus Code for Fri.: 8490. For Sat.: 28032.)

Fri. June 13 10a & Sat. June 14, 2008 12a #9 - "Petticoat Jungle": The Kramdens & Nortons go on a safari. The men go hunting -- Ralph kills a rabbit, Ed kills an elephant. (VCR Plus Code for Fri.: 7232. For Sat.: 27936.)

(CW 11) (WPIX & WPIXD WPIX's Digital Channel.):

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Mon. June 9 & Mon. June 16, 2008 1a "Honeymooners Viewers Choice Hour":
Viewers can go to cw11.com and vote for which episodes that they want WPIX to show. WPIX has set up a page on their website so viewers can see what “episodes” WPIX has the rights to. Voting has started for this Monday's episodes and the voting for next week's episodes will start after.

Channel
Date & Time
VCR Plus Code

WPIX
Mon, Jun 9 1:00 AM
VCR+: 84460

WPIXD
Mon, Jun 9 1:00 AM
VCR+: 15408

WPIX
Mon, Jun 9 1:30 AM
VCR+: 93606

WPIXD
Mon, Jun 9 1:30 AM
VCR+: 30064

If WPIX airs a lost episode, it might be in CC and it might be HEAVILY EDITED.

Sat. June 14, 2008 8p #007 - "Better Living Through TV": In a classic episode, Ralph and Norton go on live TV in an attempt to sell the Handy Housewife Helper. The inspired (and ad-lib laden) "Better Living Through TV" (originally telecast Nov. 12, 1955) finds Ralph talking Norton into buying TV time so the two of them can go on the air and sell 2000 of
the kitchen gadgets. The idea is for "Chef of the Future" Ralph to demonstrate to "Chef of the Past" Norton the many things the gizmo can do, such as open cans, remove corns and, of course, "core a apple." In the rehearsal, Ralph is the picture of calm, but as they prepare to go on the air, panic sets in and he warns a worrisome Ed: "Stop talking like that, nervous, you're going to get yourself all Norton." (VCR Plus Code for WPIX: 8375. For WPIXD: 8337.)

Sat. June 14, 2008 8:30p #018 - "The $99,000 Answer": Ralph Kramden's get-rich-quick schemes were a Honeymooners staple, but the pipe dream in "The $99,000 Answer"---which originally aired Jan. 28, 1956---may be the funniest. Convinced that he'll triumph on a quiz show, popular-music expert Ralph (Jackie Gleason) intensely prepares at home, aided by
piano-playing pal Norton (Art Carney), who warms up for each song with a few bars of a familiar Stephen Foster melody. Of course, the second he's on live TV, Ralph's bravado vanishes. Going into the classic Kramden meltdown---the eyes bugging, the lips quivering, the tongue stuttering "hummina-hummina"---he's asked, for his first question, to identify the composer of "Swanee River." (VCR Plus Code for WPIX: 7882. For WPIXD: 6612.)

(WGN America) (WGN's nationwide feed. Not WGN's Chicago feed.)

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Sun. June 8, 2008 9p (CC?) #001 - "TV or Not TV": Ralph and Norton go partners on a new TV, but Ralph rigs a coin toss so the set stays in the Kramden apartment. It's not long before Ralph becomes a total zombie to the new medium, and all Norton wants to do is don his space helmet and watch "Captain Video." (VCR Plus Code: 762224.)

9:30p (CC?) #002 - "Funny Money": Ralph finds a suitcase filled with money, enough, Norton says, to "keep him in pizza for the rest of his life." There's one slight problem: the money is counterfeit, and the gangsters who printed it want it back. Alice's Mother: Ethel Owen. Boss: Boris Aplon. Ziggy: Frank Marth. (VCR Plus Code: 854779.)

Sun. June 15, 2008 9p (CC?) #003 - "The Golfer": Hello, ball! That memorable salutation---delivered by Norton (Art Carney) as he shows the proper way to "address the ball"---has made "The Golfer" (first aired on Oct. 15, 1955) a favorite in the series canon. Ralph's trying to impress his boss by offering to join him in a foursome. Problem is, Ralph's never picked up a club in his life and learning to play in two days, he concedes, won't be easy---"It'd take me at least a week." That doesn't stop him from turning his kitchen into a fairway, using a pin cushion as a ball and, unforgettably, getting into the mood by donning an outlandish golfing outfit that is, to quote Norton, "dee-vine." (VCR Plus Code: 264844.)

9:30p (CC?) #004 - "A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Tired of Ralph's complaints about household chores not being done, Alice convinces him to hire a maid. But the new domestic is rapidly getting fed up taking orders from Norton and Ralph, or as she calls them, "the simp and the blimp." Thelma: Betty Garde. Wilson: Frank Marth. (VCR Plus Code: 363689.)

"Young At Heart":

Ralph: "How am I supposed to waddle like a duck?"

Ed: "It's easy. Just walk like you always do."

"The Safety Award":

Ed: "Can I use this hankerchef?"

Ralph: "It's one of my new ones. Remember, it's for showin', not blowin'."

"Unconventional Behavior":

Ed: "Remember last year at the convention when the cops were cracking down on all the people dropping water bags out of the hotel window? That didn't bother me, I just threw mine out of the window."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "I almost drowned. The window was closed."

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Ralph: "I see that you are dressed for the fishing vaction."

Ed: "No, I just got through working in the sewer."

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Alice: "I am not going to Fred's Landing."

Ralph: "Don't go."

Alice: "I wouldn't give you the satisfaction."

"Without Reservations":

Ralph: "I don't mind if Stanley eats like a garbage disposal, I just don't want him to sound like one."

Alice: "He has false teeth."

Ralph: "I know why. He wore out his real ones eating."

"Without Reservations":

Ralph: "We don't have to fix this hotel until the highway is built.

Trixie: "I think it would be easier if we built the highway and the other people who were going to build the highway to cleanup the hotel."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ed is getting a suntan. He wraps foli around his neck.)

Ralph: "What is the foil for?"

Ed: "To prevent the soot from the chimney from getting on my vest.

Ralph: "It would be a shame to get that vest dirty after working in the sewer all day."

"The Next Champ":

(Alice is upset that Ralph has Dynamite Moran, a noxer is moving in with them.)

Ralph: "This guy holds the record for the world's quickest knockout."

Alice (holding up her fists): "Get ready for a new record."

Credit goes to tvguide.com, honeymooners.net, sitcomsonline.com & ALN's website.