Friday's Quotes & a Honeymooners Memorial Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(The Raccoons are having a Memorial Day picnic right near the East River.)

Ed: "Boy, this was a swell idea of yours Ralph-ie boy to suggest that the Raccoons have their first annual Memorial Day picnic right here."

Ralph: "Thank you Norton. As you know, it was also my idea for me to be the cook. This way, I wil be sure to become elected Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler."

Ed: "Let's hope you don't die of a heart attack first after eating all that food."

Ralph: "Ha ha ha. You are a riot Norton. Anyway, some of the members here are war veterans. This is a great day to remember them and what they have done and what they are doing. I bet some of them actually live in Miami Beach."

Ed: "Yeah, I am proud of them. It's men like them that make America great."

(Audience claps.)

Ralph: "Anyway, the brugers are almost ready."

Ed: "I want to eat my food next to the East River. It reminds me of where I work."

(Ralph looks like he's going to throw up.)

Ralph: "Thanks for sharing that Norton."

(Later on, Ralph is eating. Ed decides to cook up some hamburgers. He places the grill on an incline as it heats up. Ed goes to use the facilities. The grill, which by this time is hot, rolls down and somehow hits Ralph grill first in the back.)

Ralph (yells): "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! NORTON, YOU IDIOT!"

Ed (yells): "WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO PLAYED AROUND WITH THE GRILL?"

(Ralph chases after Ed with all the Raccoons trying to break it up.)

(Jackie Gleason comes out. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Friends, no one was harmed in the making of this. Time to introduce Art Carney."

(Art comes out and shakes Gleason's hand.)

Jackie: "On behalf of all the people here, I just want to say to all the war veterans here, thank you for all you have done."

(Audience claps.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the best. Good night."

(Audience claps.)

"Follow The Boys":

(Ed is doing a crossword puzzle outside.)

Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one: House. H-o-s-e. That is the trouble with these puzzles. They don't present a challenge."

Alice: "Yeah, they are easy. Easy: E-z-y."

"Boy Next Door":

(Ralph thinks that Ed & Alice are lovers. Ed is in Ralph's home.)

Alice: "Excuse me sweetheart."

Ralph: "Who are you calling 'sweetheart.'"

Alice: "Norton. Who else?"

"The Sleepwalker":

Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key."

Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve."

"Game Called On Account of Marriage":

Ralph: "Grogan, if you had two tickets to a World Series game and your sister-in-law was going to get married at the same time as the game, where would you go?"

Grogan: "I would go to the wedding."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

"Stars Over Flatbush":

(Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.)

Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?"

Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach."

Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll."

"Norton Moves In" & "Battle of The Sexes":

Alice: "You and Norton will have to sleep out in the kitchen."

Ralph: "Just a moment. When ever your mother or your Aunt Ethel comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen. It's a good thing that we don't have a cat because if he ever wanted to sleep in the kitchen, I would have to sleep in a box out in the hall."

"Mama Loves Mambo":

Ralph: "You mean that fter taking one look at that Carlos, you are going to give him Trixie's potato salad?"

Ed: "Of course. This will fix his wagon. Before I started eating Trixie's cooking, I was a regular Clark Gable."

"Alice & The Blonde":

Alice: "Ralph, do you know what time it is?"

Ralph: "Yeah, it's a little after 11p."

Alice: "Yeah, about three hours after 11."

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

Ed: "No one is going to put you in a straightjacket Ralph."

Ralph: "Thank you."

Ed: "Where are they going to find one big enough?"