Saturday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 05-17-2008, 10:12 PM

"Please Leave The Premises":

Mr. Johnson: "I couldn't just ask the rent commission for me to raise the rent. I had to prove hardship."

Ralph: "What did you use for evidence, a picture of this dump?"

"Principle of The Thing":

(The Kramdens have no water. Ed tries to listen to the pipes with a stethoscope to see what the trouble is.)

Ed: "There is your trouble right there. No water."

Ralph: "Did you hear that? He said no water. There's an intelligent man who has spent practically his entire life in the swer and believe you me when he says that there is no water, there is no water." (yells): "I KNOW THERE IS NO WATER."

Ed: "Now you are getting it from the expert's mouth."

"Principle of The Thing":

Ralph: "I think the wallpaper is pretty. Alice thinks it is rotten. What do you think?"

(Ed looks at it.)

Ed: "I think that you are both right. It's pretty rotten."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ralph: "The horoscope is bigger than I am."

Alice: "Nothing is bigger than you are."

"King of The Castle":

(Trixie kicked Ed out.)

Ralph: "I don't know what went wrong. I told you to say to her that you are the king of your castle."

Ed: "I knew my part. Trixie didn't know hers."

"You're In The Picture":

(The man is holding a picture of Ralph and a girl kissing. If Alice found out, she would get mad.)

Man: "You give me $500 so you can have this picture or I will give it to your wife."

Ed: "Don't take the money. Let Alice have the picture than you can get it from her for nothing."

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

Ralph: "Can you take a hint?"

Ed: "Yes."

Ralph: "All right." (yells): "I HATE YOU! HATE YOU! HATE YOU! NOW GET OUT!"

Ed: "Okay. What's the hint?"

"Pal O' Mine":

Ralph: "Is there any lard around here?"

Alice: "Yeah, about 300 lbs. of it."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

(Ralph and Ed try to lift the dresser.)

Ralph: "I'll count to three and on three we lift and then we heave ho. One..two...three."

(Ralph lifts the dresser but he can't lift his side of the dresser.)

Ralph (yells): "ARRRRRRGGGGH!" (normal voice): "Why didn't you lift?"

Ed: "We didn't heave ho."

05-17-2008, 10:12 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,098	Saturday's Quotes: "Please Leave The Premises": Mr. Johnson: "I couldn't just ask the rent commission for me to raise the rent. I had to prove hardship." Ralph: "What did you use for evidence, a picture of this dump?" "Principle of The Thing": (The Kramdens have no water. Ed tries to listen to the pipes with a stethoscope to see what the trouble is.) Ed: "There is your trouble right there. No water." Ralph: "Did you hear that? He said no water. There's an intelligent man who has spent practically his entire life in the swer and believe you me when he says that there is no water, there is no water." (yells): "I KNOW THERE IS NO WATER." Ed: "Now you are getting it from the expert's mouth." "Principle of The Thing": Ralph: "I think the wallpaper is pretty. Alice thinks it is rotten. What do you think?" (Ed looks at it.) Ed: "I think that you are both right. It's pretty rotten." "Stars Over Flatbush": Ralph: "The horoscope is bigger than I am." Alice: "Nothing is bigger than you are." "King of The Castle": (Trixie kicked Ed out.) Ralph: "I don't know what went wrong. I told you to say to her that you are the king of your castle." Ed: "I knew my part. Trixie didn't know hers." "You're In The Picture": (The man is holding a picture of Ralph and a girl kissing. If Alice found out, she would get mad.) Man: "You give me $500 so you can have this picture or I will give it to your wife." Ed: "Don't take the money. Let Alice have the picture than you can get it from her for nothing." "Out of Sight, Out of Mind": Ralph: "Can you take a hint?" Ed: "Yes." Ralph: "All right." (yells): "I HATE YOU! HATE YOU! HATE YOU! NOW GET OUT!" Ed: "Okay. What's the hint?" "Pal O' Mine": Ralph: "Is there any lard around here?" Alice: "Yeah, about 300 lbs. of it." "A Woman's Work Is Never Done": (Ralph and Ed try to lift the dresser.) Ralph: "I'll count to three and on three we lift and then we heave ho. One..two...three." (Ralph lifts the dresser but he can't lift his side of the dresser.) Ralph (yells): "ARRRRRRGGGGH!" (normal voice): "Why didn't you lift?" Ed: "We didn't heave ho."