Things we learned from Bewitched...

[catlover79]

Never get on a witch's (or warlock's) bad side.

You really deserve it when your wife zaps you out of bed and onto the couch.

Gladys Kravitz really DOES see strange things going on across the street.

Never let Abner Kravitz make you dinner...unless you like brussells sprouts stuffed with anchovies.

A man can really know what it's like to feel pregnant.

If Samantha is acting awfully strange, it's probably just Serena posing as Sam.

Little witches named Endora look uncannily like Marcia Brady.

Larry never really means it when he fires you.

Always let Endora (or Maurice) have the last word.

Unless you want to become a werewolf, let Samantha accompany Endora to the sacred volcano on Halloween.

Always keep your eye on Cousin Edgar or you may wind up drinking the spiked potion you had prepared for him.

Be careful what you say when you are near a small statue...unless you want everyone to know what you are REALLY thinking!!

[Mikado]

Red headed witches are the worst kind (Endora)

Shy witches fade or even disappear (Esmerelda)

Old witches suffer from senility, much like older mortals (Aunt Clara)

Female neighbours in Conneticut, are extremely nosy

Witches wiggle their noses to use their powers

Mortals who marry witches suddenly change facial features overnight

Ad execs can never come up with a good slogan, without their wife's help

Witches and their cousins look eactly alike, except for their hair colour

Warlocks spend all their time carrousing all over the world, instead of living with their wives

When witches go back in time, they forget about their present lives!

[comedyfreak]

Being careful for what you wish or it may come true. Tabitha turns a grown Irving Bates into a boy again.

Let your witch wife and kids use their magic or your house will get vapor locked.

Ad execs like to entertain and drink.

You can tell your problems to your local bartender.

Rich people like their country club.

Witches don't always look like old hags.

Spineless Warlocks have domineering Wives or Mothers.

[Jude The Obscure]

Never call your witch wife a "sorehead"

Never refer to your mother-in-law as "100% Hot Air"

When you accept a gift from your in-laws do so graciously,less you insult them and become a (name an animal).

When your boss takes credit for your work, don't threaten to quit and start your own agency, just allow your wife, mother-in-law, etc zap a spell on him.

When your wife offers to help out with a flat tire, do so....for goodness sakes, it's pouring rain!

[OH Nuts!]

Aunt Clara has a doorknob fetish

Macbeth is more than just a name of one of Shakespeare's plays

When Aunt Clara wants an electrician she goes all out

Endora just loves raven's eggs

Gladys really deserves to be turned into something awful every now and then

Endora is tres glam IMHO

Maurice is a ham

Uncle Arthur has a funny bone

Clara loves to land in chimneys LOL

Tabitha just loves to make storybook characters come to life

DO NOT I repeat DO NOT MAKE MAURICE MAD

[catlover79]

Endora is (literally and figuratively) a backseat driver.

Never go for a job interview at another agency because Sam will twitch you into talking baby talk.

Darrin makes an adorable grandma.

Never let Eva the cat near your husband.

Never buy Sam a gray bathrobe aka PRISON GOWN!!!

[OH Nuts!]

A Peruvian Rose is bad for Sam's nose and can make her dimples turn into pimples

While Endora surely thinks Darrin is a birdbrain, it's not very likely she'll turn him into a Macedonian Dodo bird.

Esmerelada, while well-meaning, and always reliable, is not always "present"

Don't ever try to hijack one's of Maurice's grandkids to "witches school" or he's gonna make you "chill out" ha ha

"Hey, how's it going?" is not technically correct Pilgram grammar and especially butchers Plymouth Rock dialect

Boy, Abner sure loves his pipes and newspapers

As the late Ann Landers would say, (God rest her soul, I heart her) "Gladys has a geranium in the cranium."

And here's another "Eppie-gram" especially for Darrin: "Wake up and smell the coffee!" (Uncle Arthur may be in your sugar jar!!)

"Weezie" will always come to the rescue of pretty blonde lasses zapped back a century

Serena is a mischevious little minx

Phyllis needs to watch her cattiness or she'll be lapping up milk before she knows what hit her LOL

Mr. Mortimer is not a big Santa Fan

Phyllis gets more headaches than a beach has sand (yeesh)

[Jude The Obscure]

When you want a relaxing weekend, go to Moonthatch Inn, where perfection reigns and the sun a-never-sets

Remember when you introduce your latest paramour to your wife(of a open marriage), it's "Noel Coward Time"


When you want to make a stunning exit from a room, always quote Shakespeare

Never criticize your daughter-in-law to her relatives BIG NO NO!!

Easiest way to cure hives: Stop fixing Chicken Cacciatore

[Adamantium]

Every married couple in "Bewitched Land" will eventually have one partner change face (and actor), but no one will ever notice (except the fans)!

Darrin and Samantha Stephens (There were two Darrins)
Gladys and Abner Kravitz (There were two Gladys')
Larry and Louise Tate (There were two Louises)
Frank and Phyllis Stephens (There were two Franks)

The exception is Endora and Maurice. But of course they were separated, lol.

[Mikado]

Never harm any stray dogs or cats, they MAY be a neighbourhood kid, under a spell!

[OH Nuts!]

"Macbeth" really gets around

Aunt Clara may possibly like chimneys as much as doorknobs

Larry changes his mind and direction more often than the wind

Perhaps the only joke Uncle Arthur hasn't played is putting a whoopie cushion under Darrin's seat at an important dinner

Larry isn't the only one who likes to downsize others, Endora does too!

[catlover79]

^ Those are too awesome.

[catlover79]

Never wish that you could be your boss for a day.

Never eat chicken soup made by Gladys Kravitz.

Never leave Halloween storybooks where Tabitha can get to them and bring the scary monsters to life!!!