‘Gossip Girl’ is DOA outside of NYC

[Brian Damage]

If there is anything instructive to take away from last week’s “scandal” regarding the Vanity Fair photo spread of Miley Cyrus, it’s that Americans put a higher value on wholesomeness than the media sometimes assume they do.

As further evidence, I present Exhibit B: “Gossip Girl” on the CW network.

In case you haven’t heard of either one — a strong possibility — the CW is a youth-oriented channel seen locally on KCWE-TV (Channel 7 on cable for most of you) that is co-owned and operated by CBS.

And “Gossip Girl” is a teen drama based on the characters in the series of young adult novels by the same name written by Cecily von Ziegesar.

Set in a nearly all-white, ultra-exclusive prep school on New York’s Upper East Side, “Gossip Girl” is sort of an underage version of “Dynasty,” with backstabbings, sex (mostly implied, not shown), tons of drinking, a swimming-pool incident or two and conspicuous expenditures of money.

“Gossip Girl” had the ingredients, New York-based industry insiders insisted, to become the successor to Fox’s “The O.C.” and MTV’s “The Hills” — the latest show about unhappy rich kids who nonrich kids would find irresistible.

Except that so far, most of them have found “Gossip Girl” resistible. Before it went off the air in January because of the writers’ strike, the show had barely caused a ripple.

In an effort to boost the Nielsen ratings, the CW pulled the free video streams of “Gossip Girl” from its Web site. Even then, the show’s April 21 return to the airwaves drew 2.5 million viewers, respectable by CW standards but nothing like the audience for “The Hills” or its predecessor “Laguna Beach.”

Fans of the von Ziegesar books say that “Gossip Girl” on TV is almost completely devoid of the sly social satire that permeates her novels. The designated villain is a brown-haired schemer with the suitably upper-crust name of Blair Waldorf, known as “Queen B” to her classmates and the anonymous blogger referenced in the show’s title.

In the “Gossip Girl” books, Blair’s catty commentary on the absurdities of the world around her is delivered in mordant prose that has endeared these books to grown-ups as well as teenagers.

There’s almost nothing humorous about the “Gossip Girl” show, however, except for the unintentional hilarity that comes when watching a heavy-handed soap opera.

Blair, played by Leighton Meester, has two facial expressions: one for when she is feeling vulnerable (usually reserved for the end of scenes, when someone has told her off), the other a sort of 16-going-on-Joan-Collins coldness that requires little acting talent.

B’s onetime best friend, the troubled blond Serena van der Woodsen (Blair Lively), is comically prone to making bad decisions.

Recently an even more diabolical character from the books, Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg), was airlifted into the show, suggesting the mood will become darker and heavier.

I’m not sure a lighter touch could rescue “Gossip Girl,” though I wish the producers of “The O.C.” who created this show had at least tried. I’m left with the impression that they think there is something entertaining about people who hold ordinary folks in contempt behaving contemptibly.

Which brings us back to Miss Cyrus. “Hannah Montana” looks like just a feel-good sitcom for kids, but it actually takes a fresh approach. The show downplays, even tries to obscure, Hannah’s wealth and fame.

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