Episode Reviews: “Manager of Baseball Team” (1957), J. Benny Honeymooners Skit...

[Frank Gannucci]

& “Two Below (aka “Retreat To The Basement”):

Episode #150
VCR: Attached to "Hero."

Before I start this review, let me say this. MPI has received a lot of complaints about accidentally attaching the 1953 version to "Hero" (where on the box, it advertises the 1957 version). They also have gotten a lot of complaints when they accidentally attached the 1953 episode to the DVD release that has "Teamwork Beats The Clock", "Quiz Show" & "The Wit & Wisdom of Ed Norton" (where once again on the box, it advertises the 1957 version.) MPI probably did it by mistake since the both versions of this episode are very much alike. In 2002, I managed to get the MPI cassette Vol. 28 that has the 1957 version of this episode (even though some versions of Vol. 28 have the '53 version on it.) There are very few differences between the '57 version and the '53 version.

The episode opens up with Alice worrying about where Ralph is. Ed and Trixie come down. Alice says that she is worried about Ralph. He was supposed to come home a while ago. So, Trixie asks Ed to go outside and come back when he comes home. Ed says no because what's going to happen if he is in the hospital, he would have stayed out for nothing. Ed also says that because Ralph is married, he probably ran away. Ha! That's a very nice thing to say. Ed brings up a story about what happened to a person he knew. That person ran away and when the cops asked him questions, he didn't know anything. He was 3 years old. Ha!

Ralph comes home and has champagne for everyone. In fact, in the 1953 version of this episode, Ralph tires to open the bottle, but has a hard time doing so. That wasn't supposed to happen, so to cover it up, he says: "We will be drinking champagne if I can ever get this bottle open." He does. Ralph says that he is now the new manager of the Gotham Bus Depot. He always knew that he had the right qualifications. Yeah, sure he did. When Alice asks Ralph, how he found out, Ralph says he heard it while walking by the president of the bus company's office. He later hears that a telegram will come tonight to confirm the whole thing. Ralph mentions that with him becoming the manager, he might even become the president. When he does become president, he's going to make some changes like having pretty stewardess on each bus and to make sure that those people who happened to miss the bus by one minute, he's going to make sure every bus starts a minute late. Question: Wouldn't that rule make some people a little angry that they might be one minute late to go to whatever they are going to? Just a thought. Ralph says that the salary he gets for being a manager is big. He says that with the money, he and Alice are going to go on a second honeymoon with Ed and Trixie and that Alice is going to get that bunion removed off her foot.

After Ralph leaves, the telegram arrives saying that Ralph has become the manager all right. The manager of the Gotham City Baseball Team. Alice, Ed, and Trixie are all upset thinking that Ralph was becoming manager of the company and that all the plans that Ralph had for becoming president were not going to come to fruition for a while.

Ralph comes home and mentions about the respect Alice will get when she goes down to the store Ralph was just at. Ralph also says that now that he's in the money, should he and Alice move out of this joint. He later says no. That place has been awful lucky to them. Yeah, sure it has. Alice presents Ralph with the telegram and when Ralph reads it he' disappointed and apologizes to Alice. Alice says that Ralph is the most important thing in her life. They hug and kiss.

When I rented the video entitled: "Cupid/Manager of The Baseball Team (1953 version)" in 1996, I originally thought I was going to get a thirty-minute episode of Ralph being the baseball manager. (Imagine how funny that would be.) You can imagine my disappointment when I found out that the episode was less than fifteen minutes long.

Jack Benny Skit:

Jack Benny Show:

TV: It is shown on an episode of the Jack Benny Show in '58.
VHS: I don’t think it’s available.
DVD: It has been released recently.

This sketch opens up with a shot of what is supposed to be Brooklyn. The next shot is the “Kramden apartment.” The apartment looks somewhat like the original. Alice comes out and answers the phone. It’s a Mars. Clara. Alice is feeding her cats while she goes to New Jersey. Alice will feed the cats in Mrs. Clara’s apartment since Ralph is allergic to cat fur. Alice: “That’s why he sneezes when I always wear that mink stole he bought me.” He wasn’t allergic to cats in “Santa & The Bookies.” A knock is heard. Alice knows it’s Ed. Ed (played by Dennis Day) comes in. Ed wonders how Alice correctly guessed who was knocking. Alice: “When a man works in the sewer all day, he doesn’t need a calling card.”

Ed helps Alice thread a needle. He “warms up.” Alice is trying to make extra money by making clothes. Alice got Ralph a new bowling ball. Ed: “Those cantaloupes you have been using have been messing up the alley.” Ha! Alice reveals that she used Ralph’s money ($4.89) and her money to give Ralph a new bowling ball. It will be a surprise for Ralph. Alice is keeping Ralph in the dark as far as making extra money goes. Ed somehow tied the string that Alice is using to his finger. Ed leaves but he says he will keep an eye out for Ralph. Alice makes the cat food. The phone rings again. It’s Clara. She is worried about her cats being fed. Alice tells her not to worry. She hangs up. Ed hangs upside-down in the Kramden window and tells Alice that Ralph is coming. Alice gets ready to hide the clothes that she is making in the bureau.

Ralph (played by Jack Benny with some padding under his clothes) comes in. Ralph: “Don’t you notice anything?” Alice: “No.” Ralph: “I have lost half a pound.” Alice: “That half-pound must have come out of your head.” Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE A RIOT!” Alice goes into the bedroom. Ralph tries to deposit some more money into his bowling ball account by moving the calendar on his wall and trying to grab the money from an area in a hole in the wall. He notices that the money is gone. He goes into the bureau. He notices Alice’s clothes that she is making and thinks Alice took his $.89 to buy those clothes. When he asks her what is the meaning of the new clothes, Alice says it is not what he thinks. Ralph walks around in anger. Ralph: “I can’t understand you Alice. I don’t know what you want? What do you want?” Alice: “A revolving room so you can stand still.” Ralph: “You are asking for it Alice. Those dresses are going back or you will be the best-dressed woman on the moon. Powie-zoom!” Alice: “I can’t bear to leave all this luxury.” Ralph is still angry. Ralph: “You probably want wall-to-wall carpeting.” Alice: “We don’t need that. With you around, we got wall-to-wall fat.” Ralph yells loudly.

Ralph goes to get his dinner and takes the cat food (which he thinks is tuna salad.) Ed comes down. Ralph asks him to join him as they eat the “tuna salad.” Ralph must be a dope for him to think that cat food is tuna salad. They eat. Ed is given some milk and he drinks the milk like a cat. Ralph questions why Ed is drinking that way. Ed claims that he doesn’t know why. The phone rings. It’s Clara. She doesn’t have to go to Jersey after all. Alice says that she won’t be stuck with the cat food. Alice: “Ralph & Ed are eating it.” Ed: “This beats anything Trix ever made.” Ralph is not happy. Ed is kicked out. Ralph: “Turn on the light in the hallway.” Ed: “I don’t have to. I can see in the dark.” Ha! Ed is forced to leave. Ed leaves. Ralph is angry at Alice. A package comes. It’s Ralph’s new bowling ball but Ralph doesn’t know it. Alice gives Ralph a handkerchief to wipe himself. Ralph opens the package by simply removing the top. How can a delivery man deliver a package that can be opened that easily? Ralph sees his new bowling ball and the card that Alice gave him that says: “To my loving husband.” Alice tells Ralph the whole truth behind her making the dresses. It is so she can make extra money. Part of (or all) of that extra money was used to get Ralph the new bowling ball. Ralph: “Baby, you’re the greatest.” They hug and kiss. The curtain goes down. That is the end of the sketch as well as this episode of Jack’s show.

Jack does a curtain call. Jack thanks Jackie Gleason for allowing them to do this. Jack thanks Aud for working in California (where Jack taped his show) while Alice was still working in New York for The Honeymooners. Jack: “You retained that same mood. How did you do it?” Audrey Meadows: “That was easy after living in that hotel room you got me. I wanted to be in Hollywood. Not in Glendale.” She jokes that they moved Glendale out of Hollywood and nothing was sadder than seeing a hotel go downhill while still being in it. They hug. Jack thanks Aud. Dennis comes out. Dennis asks where the check is. Jack gives him the check. Dennis: “Va-va-va-voom!” Jack “kicks” him off the stage. Dennis leaves the stage as well as Audrey. Jack follows. The credits roll. At the same time the credits roll, a brand of cigarettes is shown on the screen. I’m sure that brand has been discontinued.

Episode #161
VCR: Attached to a bunch of other skits as well as more.

At the Kramden apartment, Trixie comes in. They talk about their upcoming trip to Atlantic City. Trixie bought some clothes which include a hat that when they wear them, they look like they have buckets on their heads. Alice bought the same hat. Alice shows Trixie Ralph's large bathing suit. She was letting them out. Ed comes in. He had a normal day in the sewer. He talks about his day. Ralph comes home. He has some news. They are not going to Atlantic City, they are spending a week in the cellar as part of them doing civil responsibility. Ha! The girls don't like it. Ralph talks about an air-raid shelter. He reads them how important it is to test themselves to emergencies in which it is required for them to spend one week in the cellar with the barest essentials. Alice: "One week? We have been doing this for 14 years." Ralph: "We are going down to the cellar." Alice: "What about Atlantic City?" Ralph talks about what would happen if the pilgrims invaded Atlantic City instead of Plymouth Rock. Ralph: "What would happen then?" Ed: "We would be eating turkey with saltwater taffy." The girls say they are going to Atlantic City and go upstairs. Ed asks Ralph if it is all right if he went to Atlantic City with the girls. Ralph: "Go ahead. Why should I be mad. It would be like Caesar being stabbed by Romeo." Ralph (yells): "WHO IS THE BEST FRIEND YOU EVER HAD? I AM." He is? Ralph (yells): "WHO SHOWED YOU WERE THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE WAS? I DID. WHO GAVE YOU THE SEWER JOB? I DID." Ralph talks about the best things that he ever did to Norton. Ralph: "I will allow you to go to Atlantic City." Ed: "I will send you a postcard." Ralph (yells): "YOU ARE COMING WITH ME." Gee, what a friend...NOT! The scene closes with a star shrinking the video.

In the cellar, Ralph sets things up. The cellar looks to be different then it was in "Dial J For Janitor." Ralph is wearing an outfit that looks like he is ready for civil defense. Ed comes in with his usual clothes as well as a cap, a canteen and pretty much nothing else and scares Ralph. Ed says the reason why he is wearing what he is because he didn't know what to wear. Ed: "Even Abercrombie & Fitch didn't know what to wear for a week down in the cellar." Ed: "This is a cozy cold bin." Ed unpacks. He takes out a book. Ralph reads the fact that the book was from the Bensonhurst Public Library and has been in Ed's hands since '36. Ralph locks the door. Ed shows some cans of food that have the labels taken off. Ed said that he took them off just in case the cellar gets flooded and if the labels were still on, the labels were going to be washed off anyway. Ralph asks how they are going to tell which food can from which. Ed: "What do you think I am, stupid? I got the labels right here." Ralph tries to kick Ed out but Ed said that Ralph threw the key out. Ed & Ralph use the bunk beds that I guess Ralph made or took down to go to sleep. Ralph: "Don't step on my face." Ed: "I wouldn't dirty my shoe on your face." Ed says that he misses his Indian blanket. Ed says that he can't sleep. Neither can Ralph. Ralph suggests them reading a book and taking turns. Ed goes first. Ed (reading): "'Ivanhoe (sp?) by Sir Walterscott. Published in London, England. Portions of this book may not..." Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU READ THE BOOK?" Ed reads the book and when he gets to the end of the first sentence, he says "period." He continues to read and says: "the war of the rosses." Ralph (yells): "THE WAR OF THE ROSES." Ha! Ralph snores. Ed wakes him up by yelling "RALPH." Ralph (yells): "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Ed (yells): "IT'S YOUR TURN TO READ!" Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU GO TO SLEEP?" Ralph tries to go to sleep, so does Ed. Ed can't go to sleep with the bright light that is hanging in front of him. He can't reach it. So he gets an ax. Not only does he not hit the light, he accidentally hits the water pipes, which causes Ralph and to some extent, himself to get wet. Ralph is completely soaked in water and somehow another pipe leaks what I think is oil as the "episode" ends.

During the curtain call, Jackie is still wet when he says "Goodnight!" During the credit roll, Johnny says Trixie was played by Patricia Wilson. According to the Goodtimes Home video VHS which I have, it says that Shelia MacRae played a part in this episode. Johnny Olsen says: "This program was pre-recorded."

At the end of the curtain call, there is a still with the CBS Eye logo. In the middle it says: "This program was pre-recorded." That message, for whatever reason, is hard to read. After this is shown, a person (I think it was Johnny) says: "Thank you Jackie."