Tuesday's Quotes, Honeymooners TV Schedule & Ralph Kramden, a NY/NJ NHL Hockey fan?..

[Frank Gannucci]

(AmericanLife TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

Fri. May 2 10p & Sat. May 3, 2008 12a #3 - "The Poor People of Paris": Ralph & Ed get a great exchange rate -- on counterfeit money. (VCR Plus Code for Fri.: 5192. For Sat.: 57598.

Fri. May 9 10a & Sat. May 10, 2008 12a #4 - "Confusion Italian Style": Ralph is jealous of Alice's guide, not knowing the guide is a little boy. (VCR Plus Code for Fri.: 5129. For Sat.: 95915.

(WPIX -TV [CW 11] & WPIXD [WPIX's Digital Channel])

Mon. May 5 & Mon. May 12, 2008 1a "Honeymooners Viewers Choice Hour": Viewers can go to cw11.com and vote for which episodes that they want WPIX to show. WPIX has set up a page on their website so viewers can see what “episodes” WPIX has the rights to. Voting for this Monday's showing is going on right now. Voting for the Monday afterwards will start immediately after. (If a lost episode is picked, chances are it will be shown in CC and EDITED HEAVILY.)

All times are Eastern.

Channel Date & Time VCR Plus Code:
WPIX 11 Mon, May 5 1:00 AM VCR+: 22704
WPIXD Mon, May 5 1:00 AM VCR+: 80105
WPIX 11 Mon, May 5 1:30 AM VCR+: 39037
WPIXD Mon, May 5 1:30 AM VCR+: 39969
WPIX 11 Mon, May 12 1:00 AM VCR+: 12034
WPIXD Mon, May 12 1:00 AM VCR+: 35812
WPIX 11 Mon, May 12 1:30 AM VCR+: 38560
WPIXD Mon, May 12 1:30 AM VCR+: 77386

(WLIW 21 [Long Island New York PBS affiliate.)

Eastern.

Sat. May 3, 2008 8p (your time on your local PBS affiliate may vary if they plan on showing this) "Pioneers of Television" #001 "Sitcoms": Sitcoms are featured, including "I Love Lucy," "Make Room for Daddy," "The Honeymooners" and "The Dick Van Dyke Show." Actors Joyce Randolph, Marlo Thomas, Andy Griffith, Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke reminisce.

"TV or Not TV":

Ralph: "You once said: 'Ralph, I would be happy to live in a tent with you.'"

Alice: "I still am. I think it would be an improvement."

"Young At Heart":

Ed: "You are supposed to waddle like a duck."

Ralph: "How can I do that?"

Ed: "It's easy. Just walk like you always do."

"A Matter of Life & Death":

(Alice looks at the letter that Ralph claims says he is dying. She laughs because it is taking about Mom's dog Ginger.)

Alice: "This is a riot."

Ralph: "This is a riot. We will see how much of a riot it is when you have to finish the payments on the ice box."

"Finders Keepers":

Ed: "You can still come up empty you know."

Ralph: "The only thing empty around here is your head."

"Love Letter":

Mrs. Paterson: "This person spells beauty. B-u-t-e-y."

Ed: "That is the way I spell it."

Mrs. Paterson: "It is spelled b-e-a-u-t-y."

Ralph: "Why did you tell him. Why didn't you let him wallow in his own ignorance?"

"Songwriters":

Ed: "If Rogers ever treated Hammerstein like this, there would be no Some Enchanted Evening."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

"Play It Again, Norton":

Ed: "Ralph, I think I am sitting on a splinter."

Ralph: "Stay there."

"Without Reservations":

Ralph (yells): "GRAB A MOP AND START MOPPING."

Alice: "Only if I use you as a mop."

Ralph (yells): "I AM GOING TO COUNT TO FIVE AND IF YOU ARE NOT MOPPING WHEN I COUNT TO FIVE, LOOK OUT. ONE! THERE YOU ARE. THAT'S ONE…TWO, THERE'S TWO. ONE! TWO! THREE IS COMING NEXT…THREE! AFTER THREE COMES FOUR. FOUR IS NEXT. YOU KNOW FOUR IS NEXT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS NEXT?"

Alice: "Why don't you say it?"

Ralph (yells): "FIVE! ALL RIGHT I AM GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT I AM GOING TO DO. THE NEXT TIME YOU BLEACH YOUR HAIR, I WON'T TOUCH YOUR ROOTS."

"Without Reservations":

Ralph: "The guest doesn't have to lift a finger."

Ed: "Neither does the manager."



(Part 8) (The Pittsburgh Penguins beat the NY Rangers 5-3.)

(Ralph is all upset in the kitchen.)

Ralph: "Oooh, those Rangers. They let one slip away again."

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: "Ralph, I take it that the Rangers lost again, huh?"

Ralph: "Oooh, yes they did. They are now one game away, one game away from being eliminated from the playoffs. I just hope they do the impossible and comeback and win the series."

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, looks like those Penguins have now got Happy Feet."

(Ed dances like one of the penguins in Happy Feet.)

Ralph (yells): "STOP THAT!"

Ed: "Sorry Ralph. I thought for sure that the Rangers would win this one. Both of us being at the game and I loved it when you got all excited when the Rangers scored a goal. You even got all your food all over you. You were a mess."

Ralph: "Don't remind me Norton. What was worse is that was my dinner."

Ed: "What are you so upset about, you stole my dinner afterwards."

(McGarrity from upstairs starts dancing loudly.)

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN! LOOKS LIKE THOSE PENGUINS HAVE GOT HAPPY FEET."

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "MCGARRITY, IF YOU KEEP THAT UP, YOU WILL GET A BUSTED NOSE. WHY AREN'T YOU CELEBRATING? DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S NATIONAL MUSKATELL WEEK?"

(Ralph slams he window and the glass falls out.)

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "HA HA HA HA. YOU HAVE AN ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM KRAMDEN."

Ed: "I agree with McGarrity Ralph. You got to be happy and smile."

(Ralph smiles.)

Ed: "All right. Forget about the fact that the Rangers now have to win the next four games to win the series."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Audience applauds as Jackie walks on stage.)

Jackie: "THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE."

(Audience applauds.)

Credit goes to honeymooners.net, tvguide.com, & Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot!