Thursday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 04-24-2008, 08:28 AM

"Jellybeans":

Ralph: "I have always been lucky at contests. Remember last year at Harry's Grove when I won the clam eating contest?"

Alice (from bedroom): "Yeah?"

Ralph: "I got $5 from that. $5."

Alice (coming out of the bedroom): "You sure did and you spent $7 on Alka-Seltzer."

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Ed: "Suppose they don't give me the promotion?"

Ralph: "Then you scare them. Tell them that after 17 years in the sewer, you are finally washing your hands of the whole thing."

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Ralph: "I'm going to squeeze Mr. Marshall. He is in no position to squeeze me."

Alice: "Of course not. He couldn't even get his arms around you."

"Oh My Aching Back":

(Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.)

Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?"

Ralph: "98.6."

Ed: "What would you say a bad temperature is?"

Ralph: "102. 103. What is it Norton? What is my temperature?"

(A pause.)

Ralph (yells): "WHAT IS MY TEMPERATURE NORTON?"

Ed (starting to cry, yells): "111."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "I have flipped huh? Well, for your information Norton is my partner."

Alice: "Well, if you flip, it's always nice to have company."

"Man In The Blue Suit":

Ralph: "You know it was pretty lonely here without you Alice."

Trixie: "Oh Ed, why can't you talk to me like that?"

Ed: "I would be happy too if you only go away every once and a while."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Ed: "Now give me the $5."

Ralph (making a fist in an angry fashion): "You want five? I will give you five right now."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ralph and Ed rehearse their mind-reading act in which Ralph will hold up an object while Ed tries to guess it with the help of Ralph's clue while he can't see. Ed's eyes are closed while Ralph holds up a watch.)

Ralph: "Watch out for this, o' swami."

Ed: "What's the clue?"

"Bride's Nephew":

Ed: "If you want to get rid of Aunt Ethel, why don't you stick your head out the window and yell: 'Fire!'"

Ralph: "How about the rest of the people in the building? They will think that it's on fire for real."

Ed: "Then you yell: 'Fire, Aunt Ethel.'"

04-24-2008, 08:28 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,099	Thursday's Quotes: "Jellybeans": Ralph: "I have always been lucky at contests. Remember last year at Harry's Grove when I won the clam eating contest?" Alice (from bedroom): "Yeah?" Ralph: "I got $5 from that. $5." Alice (coming out of the bedroom): "You sure did and you spent $7 on Alka-Seltzer." "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Ed: "Suppose they don't give me the promotion?" Ralph: "Then you scare them. Tell them that after 17 years in the sewer, you are finally washing your hands of the whole thing." "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Ralph: "I'm going to squeeze Mr. Marshall. He is in no position to squeeze me." Alice: "Of course not. He couldn't even get his arms around you." "Oh My Aching Back": (Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.) Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?" Ralph: "98.6." Ed: "What would you say a bad temperature is?" Ralph: "102. 103. What is it Norton? What is my temperature?" (A pause.) Ralph (yells): "WHAT IS MY TEMPERATURE NORTON?" Ed (starting to cry, yells): "111." "Finders Keepers": Ralph: "I have flipped huh? Well, for your information Norton is my partner." Alice: "Well, if you flip, it's always nice to have company." "Man In The Blue Suit": Ralph: "You know it was pretty lonely here without you Alice." Trixie: "Oh Ed, why can't you talk to me like that?" Ed: "I would be happy too if you only go away every once and a while." "Movies Are Better Than Ever": Ed: "Now give me the $5." Ralph (making a fist in an angry fashion): "You want five? I will give you five right now." "Life Upon The Wicked Stage": (Ralph and Ed rehearse their mind-reading act in which Ralph will hold up an object while Ed tries to guess it with the help of Ralph's clue while he can't see. Ed's eyes are closed while Ralph holds up a watch.) Ralph: "Watch out for this, o' swami." Ed: "What's the clue?" "Bride's Nephew": Ed: "If you want to get rid of Aunt Ethel, why don't you stick your head out the window and yell: 'Fire!'" Ralph: "How about the rest of the people in the building? They will think that it's on fire for real." Ed: "Then you yell: 'Fire, Aunt Ethel.'"