Tuesday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 04-22-2008, 01:10 PM

"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":

Nick: "How about $400 a week."

(Ralph coughs.)

Nick: "$500."

(Ralph coughs more.)

Nick: "$600."

Ralph: "Norton, give me some water."

Ed: "Don't be a dope Ralph. Keep coughing Ralph. You will be a millionaire in no time."

"Dial J For Janitor":

(Ed is trying to bang his pipes to get water for his apartment. Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, WOULD YOU STOP THAT BANGING? I GOT A
HEADACHE."

Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I NEED WATER. I NEED TO TAKE A BATH."

Ralph (yells): "DO ME A FAVOR AND STAY DIRTY JUST FOR THE NIGHT."

"The Loudspeaker":

(Ralph slips on the rock candy that Ed put down.)

Ralph (yells): "ROCK CANDY?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE, ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME OR SOMETHING NORTON?"

Ed (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? YOU GOT RID OF THE HIC-
OFFS, DIDN'T YOU?"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

"Kramden Vs. Norton":

Ralph: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and I."

Ed: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and anybody."

"Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1":

Doctor: "I notice that you have a slight limp. Is that disability permanent?"

Ralph: "No, it isn't. I got it this morning. I hit myself with a hammer."

Doctor: "You hit yourself with a hammer?"

Ralph: "Don't get the wrong idea. Ed hit my leg with the hammer."

"A Dog's Life":

Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when I weighed 165?"

Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Ed: "I got a solution on how we should remove the dresser. The drawers are probably filled with junk."

Ralph: "That's not a bad idea."

(Ed takes the drawers and puts them on top of the dresser.)

Ralph: "Okay, let's go."

"Hair To A Fortune":

(Ralph & Ed are making the hair-making formula in a bowl.)

Ralph: "You stupid stupe. You made me poor the beer in the bowl."

Ed: "Why are you calling me stupid for? I wouldn't have done it."

"Six Months To Live":

Ralph: "That does it Norton. In six months, I will be dead."

Ed: "Don't get so upset. Doctors can be wrong to you know. Take a friend of mine for instance. The doctor gave him six months to live. Boy, did he make a monkey out of that doctor."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "He lived for almost eight months."

04-22-2008, 01:10 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,098	Tuesday's Quotes: "Two Faces of Ralph Kramden": Nick: "How about $400 a week." (Ralph coughs.) Nick: "$500." (Ralph coughs more.) Nick: "$600." Ralph: "Norton, give me some water." Ed: "Don't be a dope Ralph. Keep coughing Ralph. You will be a millionaire in no time." "Dial J For Janitor": (Ed is trying to bang his pipes to get water for his apartment. Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.) Ralph (yells): "NORTON, WOULD YOU STOP THAT BANGING? I GOT A HEADACHE." Ed (from upstairs, yells): "I NEED WATER. I NEED TO TAKE A BATH." Ralph (yells): "DO ME A FAVOR AND STAY DIRTY JUST FOR THE NIGHT." "The Loudspeaker": (Ralph slips on the rock candy that Ed put down.) Ralph (yells): "ROCK CANDY?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE, ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME OR SOMETHING NORTON?" Ed (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? YOU GOT RID OF THE HIC- OFFS, DIDN'T YOU?" Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!" "Kramden Vs. Norton": Ralph: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and I." Ed: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and anybody." "Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1": Doctor: "I notice that you have a slight limp. Is that disability permanent?" Ralph: "No, it isn't. I got it this morning. I hit myself with a hammer." Doctor: "You hit yourself with a hammer?" Ralph: "Don't get the wrong idea. Ed hit my leg with the hammer." "A Dog's Life": Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when I weighed 165?" Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures." "A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Ed: "I got a solution on how we should remove the dresser. The drawers are probably filled with junk." Ralph: "That's not a bad idea." (Ed takes the drawers and puts them on top of the dresser.) Ralph: "Okay, let's go." "Hair To A Fortune": (Ralph & Ed are making the hair-making formula in a bowl.) Ralph: "You stupid stupe. You made me poor the beer in the bowl." Ed: "Why are you calling me stupid for? I wouldn't have done it." "Six Months To Live": Ralph: "That does it Norton. In six months, I will be dead." Ed: "Don't get so upset. Doctors can be wrong to you know. Take a friend of mine for instance. The doctor gave him six months to live. Boy, did he make a monkey out of that doctor." Ralph: "What happened?" Ed: "He lived for almost eight months."