Saturday's Quotes:

[Frank Gannucci]

"Funny Money":

Ralph: "Uh, who should I call Norton?"

Ed: "Why don't you try the fire escape? Maybe someone is out there."

"Ralph Kramden Inc.":

Alice: "I burned my finger on that darn stove."

Ralph: "Gee, that's terrible. If you are not burning yourself, it's my food."

"Hot Dog Stand":

Ralph: "Why did you have to wear that tie?"

Ed: "What is wrong with it?"

Ralph: "Look at the stain on it."

Ed: "That is all right. It's pot roast."

"Hot Dog Stand":

Alice: "You call a bowling ball an absolute neccessity?"

Ralph: "I certainly do. You can't bowl without one."

"Sees All, Knows All":

Ed: "I know a man that had his palm read. The fortune teller said that he would die in six months."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "He died in four months."

"Flushing Ho":

(The Kramdens bought a duplex and has the Nortons as tenants because the landlord didn't fix anything. Ralph is refusing to fix things in Ed's apartment.)

Ralph: "When we were tenants in the other place, the landlord wouldn't fix anything over there. Did he?"

Ed: "I know, that's why we moved in here. Remember?"

"Quiz Show":

Ed: "I was on a quiz show once. I was so nervous that I couldn't answer the first question that they gave me."

Ralph: "What was that?"

Ed: "My name."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

(Ralph and Ed try to lift the dresser.)

Ralph: "I'll count to three and on three we lift and then we heave ho. One..two...three."

(Ralph lifts the dresser but he can't lift his side of the dresser.)

Ralph (yells): "ARRRRRRGGGGH!" (normal voice): "Why didn't you lift?"

Ed: "We didn't heave ho."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Alice: "You got rocks in your head."

Ralph: "I got rocks in my head? I got rocks in my head? I got nothing in my head."