Ralph Kramden a fan of NY/NJ NHL Hockey (Part 5)

[Frank Gannucci]

(The NY Rangers won the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals 4 games to 1 by beating the NJ Devils 5-3.)

(Ralph just watched the game with Ed.)

Ed: "Wow boy Ralph! Those Rangers have now advanced. By the looks of things, they may be playing the Flyers netx week."

Ralph: "Yes and they will send the Flyers back to Philly where they belong. Back to the city of brotherly love."

Ed: "There isn't a whole lot of loving there though. I wonder what would happen if they play the Washington Capitals."

Ralph: "The Caps would lose. Hands down. The Rangers know how to play hockey where as both of the other teams can't. For instance..."

(They both stand up.)

Ralph: "Take that ball over there and use your hands as a hockey stick. I will be the goal keeper. Try to hit that puck."

Ed: "Okay, but remember YOOOOU asked for it."

(Ed warms up.)

Ralph (yells): "COME ON WITH THE THING!"

Ed: "I'm warming up in the bullpen. One...two...three....four...there it goes."

(Ed hits it and hits Ralph right in the stomach.)

Ralph (yells): "ARRRRGGGGGGHHH....WHOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA...ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH...OWWWWWWWWW!...WHAT DID YOU HIT ME SO HARD FOR?"

Ed (yells): "WE ARE PLAYING HOCKEY AREN'T WE?"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN! WAS THAT YOU YELLING? IT SOUNDED LIKE FEEDING TIME AT THE ZOO."

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "MCGARRITY, YOU SHOULD BE PUT IN THE PENALTY BOX FOR BEING A BIIIIIIIIG MOUTH! WHO HAS GOT THE BIGGEST MOUTH AROUND HERE AND WHO IS IT THAT EVERYONE HATES?"

Everyone (yells): "RALPH KRAMDEN!"

(Ralph has an angry look on his face.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"

(Audience applauds.)