Sunday's Quotes & Ralph Kramden, a NY/NJ NHL fan? (Part 3)...

[Frank Gannucci]

(The NJ Devils beat the NY Rangers 4-3.)

(Ralph & Ed watch the game in the Kramden apartment.)

Ralph: "Another great game Norton. Another classic. This one going into overtime."

Ed: "I am so glad too that Martin Bordeur didn't get too hurt."

Ralph: "Me too."

Alice: "Which team are you pulling for Ralph?"

Ralph: "I don't care. I like them both."

Ed: "Me too."

Ralph: "Now, it is a series that will go to a game 5 at least. I have a feeling that this one will go the distance."

Ed: "I do too. Did you play an hockey when you were a kid Ralph?"

Ralph: "Yes, I was the goalie."

Ed: "With a body like that, you must have been bigger than the goal."

(Alice laughs.)

Ralph: "What is that supposed to be, smart or something?"

Ed: "It could be true. With you as a goalie, your team would have been unbeatable."

Ralph: "Norton, if you make one crack like that that I was bigger than the net, then I will hit you."

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "YOU AS A GOALIE KRAMDEN? WITH YOU AS A GOALIE, YOUR TEAM WOULD BE UNBEATABLE EXCPET THAT YOU WOULD RUN AWAY FROM THE PUCK. HA HA HA HA."

(Ralph goes to the window and sitcks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "MCGARRITY, YOU COULDN'T PLAY HOCKEY. YOU SKATE LIKE A DOG."

(McGarrity douses him with water. Ed & Alice laugh.)

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph (yells): "YOU WILL GET YOURS ALICE."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. The audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. THE MIAMI BEACH AUDIENCES ARE THE BEST. GOOD NIGHT."

(Audience applauds louder.)

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ralph: "Mr. Marshall, can I have a raise?"

Mr. Marshall: "No."

Ralph: "But, it's 11:30p."

Mr. Marshall: "I don't care if it's 2:07."

Ralph: "Neither do I. But, it's 11:30p."

"Hello Mom":

Ralph: "You remember the joke that your mom said at our wedding?"

Alice: "What joke?"

Ralph: "You remember the joke. She said: 'I'm not losing a daughter. I'm gaining a ton.'"

"Manager of The Baseball Team" (Color):

Ed: "I went to a fortune teller and she said that I would marry a brunette. The next day, I met Trixie."

Alice: "She is no brunette."

Ed: "She was then."

"Norton Moves In" (Color):

(The Nortons come down and ask if they can spend the night since they
can't stand the smell of the new paint in their house. Alice okays it. They leave. Ralph is still asleep.)

Ralph: "3am? Why did you wake me up at this time for?"

Alice: "Because the Nortons had their apartment painted today."

Ralph: "Did that newsflash just come across the radio?

"Double Anniversary":

Ralph: "Something smells good."

Ed: "It can't be me. I just got through working in the sewer."

"Finders Keepers":

(Ed just beat Ralph at pinball. Because of that, Ed won the box of Italian Creams.)

Ed: "Ralph, we have been friends too long to let a box of Italian Creams to come between us. So, what I am going to do is take this home, Trixie will have the bottom half, Alice will have the top layer, and the box, which is suitable for framming, is yours."

Ralph: "Why don't you shut up?"

"Young Man With A Horn":

Alice: "Do you know that Ralph insisted on making the beds this morning?"

Trixie: "That is wonderful."

Alice: "What is wonderful is that he got me up at 5am so he could make them."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Ralph: "Talk is cheap."

Alice: "It must be or you would have never opened your mouth."

"Unconventional Behavior":

(Ed sets his watch by the time Chinese restaurant opens at home as well as the time the smell of egg fu young reaches his apartment window.)

Ralph: "Ask that conductor what time it is."

Ed: "Excuse me?"

Conductor: "Yes."

Ed: "Are there any Chinese restaurants on this train?"

"Cottage For Sale Part 2":

(Ralph & Ed are in the really broken down cottage.)

Ralph: "$998, we have been robbed. What are we going to tell the girls? They will kill us. They will kill us after they saw the place in the showroom. What are we going to do?"

Ed: "If it was April 1st, we can jump up from behind them and yell: 'April Fool!'"