Ralph Kramden, a NJ/NY NHL fan? (Part 1) (The NY Rangers beat the NJ Devils 4-1.)

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed come home.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a game Norton. Wow! Those Rangers really beat those Devils. I am kind of torn. I want both teams to win, but it can't be. One of those teams will go by the wayside."

Ed: "Of course. It's just part of the course really. Maybe the Rangers are going to get revenge on the Devils for the Devils sweeping them two years ago."

Ralph: "What do you mean Norton? The Devils didn't do anything wrong by doing that. I would have done the same thing."

Ed: "In this family, Alice is the one that is doing the sweeping."

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: "Hi boys! How was the game?"

Ed: "It was great. Ralph-ie boy kept on saying 'Come on Devils' when the Devils were losing and then he was saying 'Come on Rangers' when the Rangers were losing."

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

Alice: "I am not surprised that Ralph did that."

Ralph: "I was just excited that's all. Why can't a guy be a fan for both teams during the playoffs? I want both teams to win and I guarantee you this. One of them will win the Cup."

Alice: "Ralph, you have been saying that for five years one way or another and it hasn't come true."

Ralph: "This time it will. I made a bet with Joe Fenstablau that if I were right, he would give me $50. If I am wrong, I give him $50. With that money, I will get something I always wanted. A fake Miami Beach palm tree."

(Audience claps.)

Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN! YOU MADE THOSE GUARANTEES AGAIN? THIS TIME YOU WIL FAIL AGAIN. YOU ALWAYS MAKE GUARANTEES YOUR BODY CAN'T CASH."

Ed: "Is that because your body is too big?"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE IN MIAMI BEACH."

(The end.)