Team Lovejoy: Lovejoy Vs the Mob

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 1- Meeting Johnny Powers

A dark haired young man, who bared a resemblance to Johnny Knoxville, remained in the men's bathroom of the Willesden Green library to ensure that his hair had sufficient volume and to check his face for zits. After all, there was someone who was waiting for him. As he was replacing the cap of his zit cream, it slipped out of his hand and fell to the floor. Johnny Powers rolled his eyes at his reflection.

"Damnit." he yelled as he stooped to pick up the offending object. Just as he was about to stand back up, he felt a fat guy's presence outside the toilet. He froze as he heard another American voice saying "Johnny, are you in there? It's Nails. Some Limey dude called Mr Gimbert wants us at his palce soon."

Johnny cocked an eyebrow adjusting his grip on his shotgun slightly and said "I hope this guy's not a total A-hole like Big Ed. Let's hope he'd love to be able to use a gun when the hell he wanted without having to wait for a say-so."

"You so love the rush," Nails said as Johnny came out of the men's toilet. "You love the power. It puts a fire in your gut, eh, Johnny?"

Before Johnny could respond, Nails felt his boss's cellphone ringing in his left jacket pocket, picked it up and handed it to Johnny smiling as Johnny himself said "That better not be that butthole Big Ed."

"No it's not Butthole Ed, Johnny," Nails said. "It's that Gimbert dude and he wants to talk to you."

"Thanks, dude," said Johnny as he tok the cellphone from his number two. "Hello, this is Johnny Powers."

Nails, meanwhile, had straightened out his jacket and had picked up his gun. He was about to protest but Johnny turned a disapproving eye on Nails who was reapplying his own zit cream as the others came with an Australian man.

"Johnny Powers's lot, eh?" said the Aussie guy. "Frank Bigelow, I'm Mr Gimbert's employee and Mr G wants you guys at his place pronto."

"You got that right, Aussie dude," Johnny said as Nails smirked arrongantly. "And if you wanna know, tell Old Man Gimbert we'll be there."

Bigelow looked mildly interested and said "You think Mr G'll know that?"

"Well, duh," said Nails as he recapped the zit cream and popped it into his backpack. "If you ask me, that Gimbert dude sounds like a Capone wannabe."

Bigelow moved over to Nails, ran the index finger of his left hand over his jawbone and said "He's not, Mr Gimbert's an auctioner who hates a local antiques dealer named Lovejoy."

Nails scoffed but Johnny was warming to the idea and said "If we had one of that Lovejoy dude's gang, he'd be finished.

"If I let Mr G take Arnold 'Tinker' Dill, Lovejoy'd be left with Eric Catchpole who's about as much use as a chocolate teapot," said Bigelow correcting Johnny. "Mr G'd finally have London's antique scene to himself."

Johnny turned to Bigelow and said "Okay, dude, anything you can do to encourage this Tinker dude to come around to our way of thinking, you do it."

Then, Bigelow turned on his heel barking for Johnny and his gang to follow him. The whole gang followed him out of the bathroom and spotted Mark Taylor and Hal Berkeley talking at the front desk before looking at Johnny and then back at each other.

"If those dudes are Lovejoy allies, we are so dead." Nails whispered to Johnny.

They all headed to Bigelow's car outside the library.

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 2- Hearing About the Mob

The next day at the St Ann's mall in Harrow, there was a crowd of people walking past until a loud noise was heard and everyone started running about the mall like lunatics.

"Holy crapamoly," said Eric Catchpole. "What the bloody hell was that?"

"Whatever it was, Eric," said his best friend Mark Taylor. "It scared the living crap out of me!"

"Okay, guys, let me see what it is," said Toby O'Flanigan as he and his pal Rob Duncan looked out of the door of the Primark store they were in. "Those guys look a bit like some of the guys from Jackass dressed as the Sopranos."

The four young men were standing outside Primark with their other pal Ross Renton waiting for their snooby pal Sir Russell Wellesley to return with the information they needed. Eric and Mark rushed to the men's toilet as Toby, Rob and Ross all stood outside Primark. Rob looked at his watch and groaned "Where the bloody hell's Sir Russell? He left over an hour a-"

Suddenly, the doors of the mall swung open and Sir Russell entered with five other people all dressed as normal people. The redheaded man, who appreared to be the leader, kicked the door shut as two security guards looked at them.

"I hate to say this but who the bloody hell do you people think you are?" asked one security guard. "This isn't Ashes to Ashes or Life on Mars, for God's sake."

"Shut up, you fat git," said Ross as he turned to the security guard before turning to the Americans. "What the bloody hell was that all about?! A murder attept on Sir Russell's life?"

"You lairy sod, that's the third bloody time this week!" said another security guard.

"Did you guys get the info knowledge stuff about the Powers Mob?" asked the redhead.

"Indeed I did, Sir," said Sir Russell. "Thank you for telling me."

"Name's Marty O' Sullivan and there's are my pals Benjamin 'Blake' Blaketon, Omar 'O-Dog' Raymond, Raven Stone and Gabby Lawson," said Marty. "So who's been telling you guys about Johnny Powers?"

"Yeah," Raven said. "I mean that dude may be tough but he's got guys who can kick anyone's ass and it turns out they might be working for an auctioneer called Gimbert."

"Charlie Gimbert??????" asked the six young British men.

"Well, duh, yo," said O-Dog as all 11 of them ran out of the mall and took either Marty's car, Mark's car or Eric's motorbike to Lovejoy's flat near Truham Green. "How do you think Gimbert's gonna pop a cap on our asses?"

"Okay, Guys, maybe we should tell my boss Lovejoy about this," said Eric. "Who is this Johnny Powers bloke anyway?"

"Johnny Powers is the 21st century's answer to Al Capone," replied Blake. "He's an Irish American gangster who's led a crime syndicate dedicated to the smuggling and bootlegging of liquor and other illegal activities but he began his career in Brooklyn before moving to Chicago and becoming the boss of the criminal organization known as the Chicago Outfit although his business card reportedly describes him as a used furniture dealer."

"His poppa, Bart Powers, originally hailed from Brooklyn, New York and his momma, Louise Powers, a full-time homemaker, came from LA where her pop was a mobster himself," added O-Dog. "Old Man Powers changed tires for a living and later obtained a position with the Boston Housing Authority. He trained Johnny and his little bro Davey in boxing and earned extra money by coaching prizefighters."

"Throughout high school, Johnny was involved in extra curricular activities," added Gabby. "When he wasn't boxing, he was on a team traveling to swim meets all over New England. His memoirs vividly describe how the busing controversy transformed the previously comparatively peaceful South Boston high schools into zones of race warfare. His fights against Italian-American gang members eventually led him to lose a post-graduation job at a neighborhood high school."

"At a totally young age, Johnny got his start as a mobster," added Marty as they all arrived outside Lovejoy's flat. "When he was 13 years old, he ran a crew of teenaged punks committing petty shakedowns and eventually a string of illegal distilleries. He then went on to run his own gang of mobsters."

"After developing a close rivalry to another local mobster called Big Ed, he moved to San Fransisco where he operated a major bookmaking operation in rivalry with Big Ed," said Raven. "One of his closest enforcers during those years was a tough guy called 'Nails' Nathan Alderman."

They all ran up the stairs to the flat and as Eric knocked on the door, a lisping Essex voice said "Hang on, I'm coming."

As the door opened, Eric said his boss Lovejoy smining at him and said "Lovejoy, Charlie Gimbert's teamed up with a mobster from the States called Johnny Powers but I don't know why."

"I don't know why either, Eric," Lovejoy said as the gang entered his flat and walked into the living room. "Maybe I should give Tinker the 411 about this mob thing since he was in the Mafia from the late 70s to the mid 80s when he moved here to London."

"Hey, Guys, I saw that bloke yesterday," said Hal Berkeley. "Me and Mark saw Frank Bigelow talking to him and his gang in the library but I didn't hear them talking about something."

"Hmm, this is serious," said Captain Sean Gereraty. "I've heard about mobsters since Tinker was one but if you four Americans are undercover police officers, give any information about this Johnny Powers lad."

"Holy crap, Lovejoy," Dr John Paris said as Lovejoy smiled at him. "Is it just me or is Sean acting like he just met Starsky and Hutch in person?"

"It's not you, John," Gordon Renton replied for Lovejoy. "These guys are undercover cops for the US and if you ask me, this looks like one of those cop shows on TV."

"Hey, Lovejoy, I think you better send me to visit that Johnny Powers kid so we can get some answers," said Lovejoy's American barker, Arnold 'Tinker' Dill clearing his throat. "Oh and, guys, if this turns out to be like that Happy Days two parter 'Fonzie's Funeral', Charlie might be up to seomthing and I know you won't like it one bit!"

"Yeah, you're right, Tink," said Lovejoy as everyone else in the flat gasped and ran out except for Eric. "I should send you in Charlie's place to get closer to Charlie and Johnny's gang to see what makes them tick."

"Maybe tomorrow, Lovejoy," Tinker sighed as he saw Marty. "Hey, Red, you're a cop, right?"

"Yeah," said Marty as he saw Tinker. "My name's Marty O' Sullivan but the way but don't ever call me Martyn ever."

"How about you go with Lovejoy and Eric to Charlie's place and try to stop Johnny, okay?" said Tinker happily.

"Great idea, Tink," said Lovejoy smiling. "Eric, Marty, let's fire up Miriam and head to Ealing, Charlie's up to something and I hope it fails."

Lovejoy lead Marty and Eric down the stairs of the flat the gang lived in and ran into Lovejoy's Audi Quattro Miriam and drove to Ealing and stopped outside Charlie Gimbert's home on Parkfield Drive. As they got out, Lovejoy spotted a Ford Cortina similar to Marty's and groaned "A Ford Cortina, what the bloody hell is this, Life on Mars?"

"No, that's Johnny Powers's car," Marty said. "It may look like the one from that Starsky and Hutch movie but it goes just as fast too so whatever you guys do, don't drive it and crash it into anything."

"Thanks for the info, Gene Hunt," said Eric sarcastially. "Whoever this Johnny powers bloke is, Tink said he was a total gunnut and so am I so he's gonna wish he was dead the second he meets me, Marty."

"I understand sarcasm and that was pretty good, Eric," said Marty. "I'll blame that wild goose chase here on Johnny's gang. I wonder how much I can get away with blaming Big Ed for what happened in LA before me and my gang nearly got kicked off the force."

Lovejoy and Eric both followed Marty to Johnny's car. As they looked around, they saw two mobsters who looked like Preston Lacy and Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña from Jackass with guns similar to the ones from the 2004 Starsky and Hutch movie. They saw Marty and fired causing Marty to pull his gun out of his shoulder holster and fire back at the two mobsters who knew they had been defeated by Marty himself. He watched the two mobsters run back inside Charlie's house and smiled at Lovejoy and Eric while he put his gun back in his shoulder holster as they got inside Miriam and drove back to Lovejoy's flat in Turnham Green.

"Good shooting, Marty," said Lovejoy as they drove to Turnham Green. "I like your aim, it's just as good as Eric's and by God, you got the job done like you were Gene Hunt."

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 3- Captured

The next day, Tinker got out of the car he was driving wearing a white suit, a light blue shirt, a white tie, a white belt, a brown trenchoat, black leather gloves, white shoes and a white fedora with a black hatband and ran towards Charlie's house in Ealing. He had a feeling Charlie had Johnny Powers's gang were guarding the place so he had to lay low under a bush and had to keep quiet.

Okay, O' Hara, I may have kicked your ass in 1984 but you've sent your gandson Johnny to kick my ass, have you? thought Tinker as he looked at Johnny through the bushes he was hiding in. You had to or else your daughter Louise would've been furious with me.

He jumped as he heard gunshots from a mobster who looked like Steve-O from his son Ray's favourite stunt show Jackass and another who looked like Chris Pontius from that very same show. They were both holind guns and were searching around the house for intruders.

Oh crap, I'm dead if I'm not careful, Tinker realized. He saw the two mobsters looking around. He turned around and saw a car that belonged to Johnny himself. That's it, Johnny boy, you're gonna get your ass kicked the second I get you.

"If that Tinker dude Johnny's dad told us about is here, he worked with Jonny's grandpa," said the mobster who looked like Steve-O out loud. "We'll captured him and get the others to find him here and although Old Man Gimbert'll promise to let him go if Lovejoy gives him anything. Then, that fat assed son of a bitch'll have London's antique scene to himself."

"Big deal, Gimbert's a fat Limey pig anyway," said the mobster who looked like Chris Pontius. "Auctioneers in this town are big fat liars, dealers are crafty jerks and a certain barker working for a rogue dealer's gonna get his ass kicked the moment we find him and that Lovejoy dude'll be so history."

As Tinker was about to leave, a mobster who looked like Preston Lacy grabbed him by his shirt collar and dragged him out of the bush as quickly as he could before handing him to Johnny. Nails smirked as he knew this happened before but when Johnny's grandfather, Isadore O' Hara, did this with a rival mobster in 1979 while Tinker was in the gang but unlike the man he shot dead while doing what he did now, Tinker was struggling until Nails grabbed him by the throat.

"Dude, surely you realize that you sent my grandpa to jail for racketeering and that's why we're dragging you inside." Johnny sneered at Tinker before both he and Nails grabbed each of his arms and dragged him inside Charlie's house, put him in the attic and locked the door.

As he was inside the attic, Tinker took his walkie talkie out of his coat pokcet, pressed the button and said "Man at Arms to Cobra Commander, I've been kidnapped by Fat Tony and his gang who are working with Skeletor.

"This is serious, Man at Arms," said Lovejoy. "You worked with Johnny Pow- I mean Fat Tony's grandad til you sent him to jail for rakceteering in 1984, it was in the news back then."

"I know, Cobra Commander," said Tinker. "Fat Tony told me not to escape or he'll send Joey, Legs, Louie, Johnny Tightlips and Frankie the Squealer to hunt me down. The guy's a total gunnut so it'd be best for you not to come alone."

"Okay, Man at Arms," said Lovejoy. "I oughta rally Mumm-Ra, Screaming Falcon, Brainiac, Viper, Kendra and Blondie to come with me to Skeletor's lair in Ealing ASAP."

"Good going, Cobra Comander," said Tinker as he smiled at himself finally calming down. "Man at Arms out."

"Thanks for the 411, Man at Arms," said Lovejoy before he and Tinker broke contact. "Cobra Commander out."

An hour later, Lovejoy, Marty, Eric, Blake, Raven, O-Dog and Gabby were all outside Charlie's house and eyed the place for a second until Lovejoy said "Okay, Guys, we're here to save Tinker before Charlie finds us and only that. No fights this time, okay?"

Everyone glanced at Eric as he groaned and said "For God's sake, Lovejoy, can't a guy make a mistake?"

"Are we all here?" Charlie said as the gang hid anywhere they could find. "Alright, let's get this meeting underway."

"Mr G, Lovejoy's weakening under our pressure." said Bigelow twiddling his thumbs.

"That Lovejoy dude's got no clue we've got the American dude that sent my grandpa to jail," said Johnny and at that, Johnny's gang laughed cruelly until he noticed one of his gang was missing. "Guys, where's the fat dude?"

"He was in the bathroom the last time I checked, Johnny." Nails replied and turned to find Lovejoy, Marty, Eric, Blake, O-Dog, Raven and Gabby watching them.

"We gotta go NOW!" yelled Lovejoy and without a single word said, Nails pressed his gun against Eric's forehead and vice versa.

"Run, Gabby, run." yelled Marty as he saw Gabby running away from the mobster that looked like Chris Pontius.

"Look out, Marty," yelled O-Dog grabbing his gun like a maniac. "The dude that looks like Steve-O's comin' our way."

All was silent as Lovejoy, Eric, Marty's gang and Johnny's gang glared at each other seeing who would pull the trigger first. Lovejoy looked for Charlie, found him and said "Look, Charlie. We need to talk.

Charlie smirk faded away as he said "Forget it, Lovejoy."

"Trust me, Lovejoy," Eric said. "Everyone knows Charlie Gimbert's the biggest jerk on the planet."

Johnny pulled the trigger near Eric's ear but it missed. Marty quickly moved his head to the right, grabs Johnny's wrist and tripped him. Johnny fell against the ground hard. He looked up to see Marty's gun being pointed at his and Blake said "Hey, Marty, you okay, dude?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, Blake," Marty. "Thanks."

"I know these guys from left to right," said Blake. "Johnny's the leader, Nails Nathan's his getaway driver and right hand man, the guy that looks like Steve-O's extremely deadly with a blade, the guy that looks like Chris Pontius is a master marksman, the fat guy's the gang's tough guy and the short dude's the gang's genius."

"Pleased to meet you." said Eric sarcastically.

"You won't be for long." said Nails.

Johnny looked at the gang in front of him, smirked and said "Sweet but we still outnumber you, A-holes."

Looking for Gabby, Raven said "Yo, any o' you homeys seen Gabby?"

"Behind you, Raven." said Gabby from behind her best friend and other hip-hop speaking cohort.

All was silent until suddenly, Nails took out a gun from his leg holster, pointed it at Blake and yelled "Choke on this, Geekazoid."

Pointing behind Nails, Blake said "Yo, Nails, what's that?"

Nails did so and at that very moment, Blake punched him in the face. Everyone looked, screamed and dropped to the ground. Bullets, fists and people were flying everywhere.

"Okay, Guys, let's go, let's go, let's go!" said Marty as Eric, Blake, O-Dog, Raven and Gabby followed him.

A few seconds later, the mob slowly got up and looked around. There, standing behind them and breathing was Lovejoy.

"Look, Dealer, since you're on your own, do you wanna do this the easy way or the hard way?" asked Johnny as Nails and the fat guy walked up to Lovejoy and grabbed him by each arm as Johnny punched him in the face knocking him out instantly.

Charlie smirked as he saw his arch rival being carried away but Johnny's gang as Johnny said "Take him to Mr G's attic, guys, his pal Tinker's there."

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 4- Meeting Charlie

About a few minutes later, Lovejoy woke up to total darkness wondering where he was until he saw what looked like Tinker's silhouette walking over to him and kneeling beside him whispering "Hey, Lovejoy? Lovejoy, are you okay?"

Lovejoy groaned as he clutched his head and asked "Tink, Tink, is that that you?"

"Yeah, it's me," Tinker said as his left hand reached out and turned on an antique lamp so Lovejoy could look at his face. "I know that Johnny Powers guy throguh his grandpa."

Lovejoy sat up to find himself lying on an old couch, looked at Tinker and said "Okay, whatever the hell's going on here, we're at Charlie's 'cause I can tell by the attic."

"Only one question remains," said Tinker. "What the hell's Johnny up to?"

Before Lovejoy was about to answer, the door opened and Charlie, who had Tinker's 'mobster hat' on, entered with Johnny and Nails but Nails walked up to Tinker, rubbed the index finger of his left hand across his jaw and shoves it in his face but on his index finger was zit cream.

"It looks like these dudes are, like, so totally zit free since they're older than us." said Nails.

Tinker looked at Nails silently and said "Guys, what happened to Johnny's grandpa wasn't my fault, okay?"

"Oh my god," Lovejoy said to Tinker. "You sent Johnny's grandad to jail since in was in the news in August 1984, didn't you, Tink?"

"It's true, Lovejoy," Tinker said. "I was part of that mob 'til I quit after an arguement with Sean O' Hara about marrying his niece Patsy Carpenter."

Lovejoy stood up but Johnny pounced on him and slammed him against a 1940s coffee table.

"Tinker ruined my damn life," Johnny said sitting on Lovejoy's chest, pinning him down. "And now, I'm gonna pick up from where my grandpa left off and ruin his in return."

"Go on, do it, Johnny," Charlie said arrogantly. "You get Tinker but Lovejoy's my enemy, you should bloody well know that by now!"

"I know that." Nails said sulkily.

Everyone in the attic glanced at Tinker. Charlie stormed out of the attic, told Johnny and Nails to stand guard of Lovejoy and Tinker and closed the door behind him.

"That was so unlike Charlie," Lovejoy said. "He'd never associate with mobsters and we both know that, Tink."

"You're right but there's a first time for everything." said Tinker.

"Guess so." sighed Lovejoy.

"Lovejoy, I'm the one Johnny wants a vendetta on," Tinker sighed. "It wasn't my fault his grandpa died after he was released. He ought know that."

"Speaking of vendetta," Lovejoy said. "I've been at war with Charlie since 1988 and we've gotten our on back on each other, Tink."

"LOVEJOY! Please," Tinker said. "You know I'm not subject to wars these days unless against anyone I hate!"

"Did you at least get any information when Johnny got you?" said Lovejoy snapping his fingers.

"No so that was a complete waste of time, dammit!" said Tinker shaking his head.

With that, Lovejoy and Tinker sat on the old couch and looked at each other. Suddenly, Lovejoy came across some files on Johnny Powers unluding a wanted poster and asked "Where did you find this stuff, Tink?"

"I found it on the couch when Johnny's gang dragged me in here," said Tinker. "Something tells me that Johnny's wanted in 3 states over in America."

Meanwhile at Lady Jane Felsham and Lady Penelope Morgan's home in Islington, Eric, Marty, Blake, O-Dog, Raven and Gabby told Jane and Penny that Lovejoy and Tinker were being held captive at Charlie's home in Ealing. Both cousins were shocked by the reaction.

"We've got to do something before it's too late." Penny said.

"Me and Marty had a shootout with Marty against two mobsters yesterday." Eric said as he sat next to Penny.

"It's true, we won the shootout and they went back inside there," Marty said. "I don't know what happened afterwards but we drove back to Lovejoy's joint in Turnham Green."

Eric didn't answer. By that time, Jane noticed herself thinking of an idea. She looked at the others as if to say "Hang on, I've got my best idea ever."

"Come on," Jane said. "Let's rally the others and rescue Lovejoy and Tinker. I think it would be best, Eric, if you didn't start shooting like a gangster."

"I guess you're right, Lady Felsham." Gabby said.

"Let me save us a moment," Blake said coming over. "Eric, you told us Sir Wellesley was a scientist, right?. Maybe you oughta get him to find out about Johnny Powers. I hope we find him before you never see Lovejoy and Tinker again. If that happens, that Gimbert dude's gonna have London's antique scene to himself."

Eric agreed on that. A few moments later, he hoped on his motorbike and took Blake to Sir Russell's stately home 'Wellesley Manor' in Northwood. Sir Russell was a little surprised to see Eric at his door.

"Eric, you look like something's wrong." Sir Russell said.

"That's right, Sir Russell," Eric continued. "Lovejoy and Tink were captured by Charlie Gimbert. You should also know this, Charlie Gimbert's a jerk like that song we sang to the tune of that 'Kyle's Mom's a Bitch' song from South Park. We all know he's a jerk so that's why I need you to find anything you can about Johnny Powers, he's a mobster. Marty O' Sullivan found Johnny's 1920s handgun outside Charlie's house."

"Excusez moi, Eric, did this gun happen to beling to Johnny's great-grandfather Dion Powers?" Sir Russsell asked.

"Sod it," Eric admitted. "I don't think Lovejoy mentioned that. He told me and tink that the gun was from the 20s, that's all I remember, you're a kick ass antiques expert, you've got a lot of stuff from that era. I don't think you've broke a lot of stuff from that time. Whoever's gun that is, I think it's also American."

"You're right about my obssession with antiques from the 1920s, Eric, I'll give you that," Sir Russell said as he looke dup from the laptop he was typing on. "If it belongs to Johnny's great-grandfather, he might demand to know where it is."

Eric took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and sighed "You're right, maybe he might demand to know where it is. Got anything on Johnny Powers, Sir Russell?"

"Here it is, Eric," Sir Russell said. "Johnny Powers is a 21st century Al Capone as Officer Blaketon said. He's an Irish American gangster who's rather like Monsior Capone did in 1920s Chicago and like Capone, Johnny's business card reportedly describes him as a used furniture dealer. As Officer Raymond sai, his father originally came from Brooklyn, New York and his mother came from LA where her father was a mobster himself. Monsior Powers changed tires for a living and later obtained a position with the Boston Housing Authority. He trained Johnny and his little brother Davey in boxing and earned extra money by coaching prizefighters."

"As Gabby said, Johnny was involved in extra curricular activities when he was in high school," added Eric. "When he wasn't boxing, he was on a team traveling to swim meets all over New England . He also relates how his fights against Italian-American gang members eventually led him to lose a post-graduation job at a neighborhood high school."

"As Officer O' Sullivan said at a young age, Johnny got his start as a mobster," added Sir Russell. "When he was 13 years old, he ran a crew of teenaged criminals committing petty shakedowns and eventually a string of illegal distilleries. He then went on to run his own gang of mobsters. After developing a close rivalry to another local gangster called Big Ed, he moved to San Fransisco where he operated a major bookmaking operation in rivalry with Big Ed. One of his closest enforcers during those years was a man called 'Nails' Nathan Alderman."

Once the report was finished, Eric got on his motorbike and rode back to Jane and Penny's home in Islington were Marty and his gang were and smiled at them. He got everything the gang said about Johnny Powers from Sir Russell. Marty and the others followed Eric out of the door and waved goodbye to the two women.

"Yo, Eric," said O-Dog. "We gotta get the gang together. I also think we need gang colors from the US."

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 5- The Nearly Great Escape

Back at Charlie's home in Ealing, Lovejoy stood by the window in the attic while Tinker sat on the couch. All was dark except one lonely street light a few inches away. Tinker groaned in frusration as he noticed that the door was open. Lovejoy spun around to see his friend walking towards the open door. Tinker takes a deep breath and slightly chuckles while all the while, Johnny and Nails went downstairs to the living room. Lovejoy put his hand on Tinker's shoulder and spun him around.

"TINK?" Lovejoy yelled.

Tinker put his hand over Lovejoy's mouth and said "Shut up, the mob might hear us."

"Hear us?" Lovejoy asked. "More like hear me after I yelled."

"Those guys might only betray Charlie so that they might get that 1920s handgun Eric showed us," Tinker sighed. "But now since those guys know I sent Johnny's grandpa to jail, I pretty much blew his chance of being a Mob Don."

"Tell me about it." Lovejoy said.

"So now I need to tell you this," Tinker said. "Charlie's in deep trouble."

"Trouble?" Lovejoy asked. "What the bloody hell do you know?"

"The mob are only associating with Charlie 'cause of that handgun that belonged to Dion Powers," Tinker replied. "I've seen that gun before."

"The gun Eric swipped from Charlie's driveway?" Lovejoy asked.

"That's the one," Tinker said. "I think I saw that gun in Road to Perdition."

"More like in the Sopranos or Suburban Shootout if you ask me." said Lovejoy.

"Kinda like that," said Tinker. "I think it's more Tony Soprano than Camilla Diamond."

Lovejoy and Tinker ran out of the door and closed it before Lovejoy had a cunning plan.

"Let's split up to find Johnny." said Lovejoy.

"Great idea, Lovejoy," Tinker said. "You go left and I'll go right."

"Last one to catch Johnny's a rotten egg." Lovejoy said as he ran to the left side of the house.

"Okay." Tinker said as he ran to the right side of the house.

The two of them ran as fast as they could from each other to find the mob. Lovejoy scratched his head in confusion, reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his walkie talkie. As he saw Johnny walking past him, he said nothing. Johnny grasped his gun tightly and kept it trained in case he saw Lovejoy who was hiding.

"Cobra Commander to Man at Arms," said Lovejoy into his walkie talkie. "I saw Fat Tony walking past me. I'm also glad he didn't see me."

"Thank God 'cause I saw Legs walking past me a second ago, Cobra Commander." said Tinker's voice.

"Great, Man at Arms," said Lovejoy. "I'll make sure Skeletor doesn't catch me, we both know he's a jerk."

"Great, Man at Arms out." said Tinker as he signed off.

"Good luck, Man at Arms," said Lovejoy as he signed off. "Cobra Commander out."

Lovejoy looked both behind and in front of him for either Charlie, Bigelow or Johnny's gang until he noticed Charlie behind him asking "Going somewhere, Lovejoy?"

Lovejoy turned around to find Charlie smirking as arrogantly as he could muster and said "Charlie, what a surprise."

"Don't you bloody give me that." Charlie growled.

"You're a real jerk," Lovejoy growled back as Johnny came over to them both. "You should bloody well know that by now."

"Look what the cat dragged in." Johnny said as he grabbed Lovejoy's arms and held them behind his back.

"Take him and his Yankee barker back the attic." Charlie said to Johnny and the American mobster did as he was told.

"This isn't over buy a long shot." Lovejoy yelled as both his and Johnny's footsteps faded down the hall. Charlie turned to the 19th century mirror on his wall and smiled.

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 6- Let's Work Together

At Lovejoy's flat in Turham Green, Jane, Penny, Mark, Rob, Toby, Ross and Sir Russell a.k.a the Lords of the Underworld and Marty's gang were all in the living room and Eric said "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to us, Lovejoy and Tink were captured by Charlie Gimbert and we're gonna save him."

"Save him?" Mark asked from beside Eric. "How?"

As Sir Russell sat on one of the chairs and brushed his own hair, Ross aked "How can we even trust Charlie Gimbert though? He's screwed us over more than once."

"Yeah," Toby said. "But this time, he's got nothing to betray us for."

"You've got a point." Rob said.

"You got any ideas on you, Blake." Eric asked as he turned to the smartest member of Marty's team.

Why would Eric warn Blake? thought Marty as he saw Eric walking towards him and Blake. I mean, sure, there's no point in that Gimbert guy lying to Lovejoy anymore but this could get him killed!.......oh well. No skin off my nose.

"This better be good, Eric," said Marty as Eric stood in front of him. "Blake and Sir Russell've both done research on Johnny Powers already!"

Suddenly, Hal, Captain Gereraty, Dr Paris and Gordon burst into the flat and Hal said "Eric, me and the others can find Tinker and Lovejoy if you want."

"Sure," said Eric. "Make sure you get past the mob."

"Thank you for telling us," said Captain Gereraty. "Charlie's nothing but trobule and so's this Johnny Powers bloke!"

"What's going on?!" Gabby asked.

"Lovejoy's homeys are gonna save Lovejoy and Tinker, Gabby!" O-Dog replied.

"Damn right," said Dr Paris. "What does Charlie want with them?"

"How the hell should I know?" Gordon asked as the four of them went into Hal's car and drove to Ealing. "Tinker went to Charlie's and got caught and now, he's got Lovejoy too!"

"You don't think that perhaps..." Penny said.

The others gasped as a loud BAM is heard behind the flat. They all spun around to see.......Captain Carl Tatum and he said "Hey, beeachtes."

"CAPTAIN TATUM!" said Marty, Blake, O-Dog, Raven and Gabby altogether.

"Damn, Captain," said Raven cooly. "About time you showed up here."

"Uh-huh, that's me!" said Captain Tatum.

"You're Captain Carl Tatum, right?" Jane asked. "Marty and Blake told us about you."

"That's true." Marty and Blake said together.

Both Marty and Blake turned their heads to O-Dog who put a finger up to his mouth telling them to shut up.

"Uh, yeah, Captain Tatum," said Lovejoy's ex-wife Susan. "Your team said you worry about them, you know.....you being their commanding officer and all."

For some reason, Vicky and Eric both took this the wrong way. They pulled Susan away from Captain Tatum and smiled at each other.

"Hey, Mum," Vicky began. "what's the matt-"

"Don't make your mum more worried than ever!" Charlie's daughter Kim told Vicky.

The others got all wide eyed. Captain Tatum smiled at his team before leaving. Marty and his gang stood together in the flat silent.

"Okay, what the bloody hell happened?" asked Charlie's ex-wife Sarah.

"Hey, that was a bit too short," said Marty. "I know you guys are after Johnny Powers as much as we are."

"Yeah," Eric said as he shoved his left hand into his backpack and found his butt-kicking outfit. "Let's get Lovejoy and Tink back."

"Yeah, Johnny's gang are gonna get their butts kicked." added Mark.

"Marty, do you mind if we all helped you and your gang on a way to stop Johnny Powers?" asked Eric.

"You know me, Eric," said Marty. "I'd like it if you and your gang helped me and the gang."

The others sighed as O-Dog asked "WE NEED HELP? What the hell happened to teamwork, Marty?"

"O-Dog, Lovejoy and Tinker were caught by Johnny Powers's gang and Charlie Gimbert in Ealing and Eric wants to help us kick Johnny Powers's ass." Raven said.

"Blake, from now on, you're the genius." said Gabby.

In his home in Ealing, Charlie sat on a chair in his living room under a single light. He had a hand on his chin and his eyes were closed tightly as he asked himself "What the bloody hell's that moron Johnny Powers doing?"

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 7- Recaptured

Up in the attic in Charlie's Ealing home, Lovejoy was already awake as he found his American barker, who had just woken up, turned his head to look behind him since he and Tinker were tied back to back and called out "Tink, Tink, can you hear me?"

"I think so!" yawned Tinker as he saw Lovejoy bound behind him.

"We both know Charlie's an arrogant sod, Tink," Lovejoy said. "We both want revenge on him. Now let's tink of a plan."

"Yeah, sure, Lovejoy," Tinker said. "Sorry I never told you about my past, Lovejoy, it's just that I-"

"That's okay, Tink," Lovejoy interupted. "I hope Eric's working on a rescue plan."

"You're right, Lovjoy." sighed Tinker.

It was then that Lovejoy noticed that Tinker's white fedora was no longer on his head and said "What happened to your hat, Tink?"

"I think Charlie might've gotten it the second he got me!" Tinker replied.

"D'OH!" said Lovejoy.

Suddenly, Johnny and Nails entered the attic and Johnny accidentally stomped on Nails's foot allowing him to yell "GODDAMNIT!!!!!" before he asked "Whoa...Mr G lead us to Lovejoy too, you say?"

"Fur sure, Nails," said Johnny. "He lead us to the dealer dude. Did I stammer or whatever?"

The two of them walked up to Lovejoy and Tinker and smirked at them like a couple of dorks.

"Is it me or does that Tinker dude look like that Donny Osmond without the hat on?" Nails asked. "I feel like kicking his ass all night long."

"Nails, he looks like that dude from that Donny & Marie show my folks used to watch," replied Johnny. "I think he does too."

Tinker goraned and mouthed to Lovejoy 'That's today's mobsters for ya.'

"JOHNNY, NAILS," Charlie's voiced yelled from downstairs. "GET YOUR ARSES DOWN HERE!!!"

"Comin', Mr G, we were interogating the dealer and his pal," said Johnny before turning to Nails. "Dude, Old Man Gimbert wants us downstairs."

"What the hell've you done this time?" Nails asked.

"You buttholes don't think of escaping." said Johnny to Lovejoy and Tinker before both he and Nails left the attic.

Nails laughed like a hyena and followed Johnny out of the attic.

"Tinker, I think I've got a foolproof plan." Lovejoy said struggling against his bonds.

"It better be foolproof or we're history." Tinker said struggling against his bonds.

"I know how to untie us." said Lovejoy as he struggled to get his left hand free.

"Are you sure, Lovejoy?" Tinker asked. "How?"

The two of them were struggling to get themselves free until Lovejoy finally got his left hand free and said "Tink, I've done it, I got one of my hands free."

"It's only your left hand, Lovejoy." said Tinker as he struggled to get his right hand free.

A few minutes later, Tinker got his right hand free and both he and Lovejoy managed to get themselves free.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Lovejoy asked as he got to his feet and heard footsteps outside the attic door.

"It might be Johnny Powers." groaned Tinker as he stood up.

Both Lovejoy and Tinker both eyed the attic door suspiciously for a second and then opened the door for a serious escape as Lovejoy asked "You okay?"

The two of them walked out of the attic and noticed the hallway again. Johnny and Nails were walking down so Lovejoy and Tinker his in the attic. The two mobsters left as the two dealers looked down the hallway. Lovejoy gestured for Tinker to follow him. The two of them had to hide in case they saw the mob as Lovejoy asked "What the bloody hell's Charlie up to?"

"I don't think it's Charlie who's plotting this time, Lovejoy," Tinker replied. "It's Johnny and his guys who are doing the planning."

"Thanks, Tink!" Lovejoy said smiling at his American barker.

The two of them noticed Charlie who was wearing Tinker's fedora, walked behinf him, took the fedora off him and ran off.

"Lovejoy, let's get moving." said Tinker as he grabbed Lovejoy by the arm and dragged him down the hallway with his fedora in his other hand. A few seconds later, the two of them stood in front of a door which was probably Charlie's study. Tinker pushed the door open and they walked into the room. It was full of brick-a-brac as far as the eye can see. In the middle of the room was Charlie's desk and Charlie sat there after being angry. Lovejoy looked at him and he looked back. He was also holding a wine glass in his right hand.

"No way..." Lovejoy said.

"It can't be..." Tinker said.

Charlie stood up, looked at Lovejoy and growled "What do you want now, Lovejoy? What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"Look, Charlie," Lovejoy said. "We need your help."

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 8- Confrontations

In Charlie's study, Lovejoy and Tinker were talking to Charlie who said "Johnny Powers's gang, you say, Lovejoy?"

"That's right, Charlie." said Lovejoy.

Charlie groaned in frusation as he leaned back in his chair. Lovejoy and Tinker were stnading in front of his desk as Bigelow entered the study and said "Mr G, Johnny's gang are binge drinking in you front room."

"Tell them to stop it, Bigelow, seriously, Lovejoy and Tinker came to tell me basically EVERYTHING about Johnny Powers and his lot and what's going on with them." said Charlie before turning to Lovejoy and Tinker. "I'll tell you what I know about them……for a price."

"A price?" asked Lovejoy and Tinker together. "Holy crap."

"What are your demands, Charlie?" Tinker demanded.

Charlie smiled at both Lovejoy and Tinker and said "You guys keep all hippies away from my house for a year."

Lovejoy burst into hysterics and Tinker fell on the floor laughing before Lovejoy calmed himself down and asked "Charlie, are you sure about this?"

"Sure!" Charlie replied.

"Lovejoy……how many times have you kicked Charlie's ass in the 18 years you've been at war with him?" Tinker asked Lovejoy.

"About a dozen, why?" asked Lovejoy.

"Why the hell is keeping hippies away from you place such a big deal, Charlie? They're hippies, not rockers."

"Well……….because they're stupid." snapped Charlie.

Lovejoy stared at Tinker in disbelief and dragged him out of Charlie's study, Tinker complaining about Lovejoy pulling on his hair the whole way.

"Knowing us, Charlie, we'll do it." said Lovejoy.

"YES!" Charlie yelled as if West Ham United won against Arsenal.

Lovejoy groaned in disgust, shut his eyes tightly and said "BUGGER, are you bonkers, Charlie?"

"Maybe, Lovejoy," Charlie said. "Keep all hippies away from my place this Summer or else."

"OK, Charlie, you win," Tinker growned at Charlie. "So what the hell does Johnny want from you?"

Charlie put a hand to his chin and said "Well, I haven't heard much on the streets but I can tell by the bloke that he means business. That little piece of………."

"THAT'S IT?!?" Lovejoy demanded furiously. "I'M KEEPING HIPPIES AWAY FROM YOUR PLACE FOR THAT?!?"

"Are you SURE there's nothing else you can tell us, Charlie?" Tinker asked.

"I'll tell you this," Charlie said. "Look out for Johnny and his lot. That's all I can really say."

Both Lovejoy and Tinker said their thanks and left Charlie's study as Lovejoy asked "Johnny's gang? Tink, is there anyone in Johnny's gang we haven't seen yet?"

"Just the fat guy and the midget," said Tinker as Charlie looked at him. "The fat guy's the gang's tough guy and the midget's the gang's genius."

"Oh yeah," Lovejoy said. "I wasn't sure if Johhny's lot could be trusted or not but it's obvious now that we'll have to watch out for them!"

"Hear, hear, Lovejoy." Tinker smiled.

"We've gotta beware of them lot, especially you, Tink." Lovejoy smiled back.

"Shut up, Lovejoy." Tinker said as both he and Lovejoy made a run for it.

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 9- Finding Lovejoy and Tinker

As they looked around Charlie's house, Hal, Captain Gereraty, Dr Paris and Gordon noticed some charts posted up on the wall in Charlie's living room. The charts detailed the hot spots of recent crimes and which ones were done by Johnny Powers and which were done by other criminals.

"Why isn't Charlie even a criminal?" Hal snorted. "He always turns all kinds of criminals in. What's his purpose?"

"He's got that 'Robin Hood' quality, Hal." Captain Gereraty replied putting his hand on Hal's right shoulder.

"Hmm. I don't know…..sod it," said Dr Paris. "If Johnny Powers had been more active, we'd be able to hunt them down with ease and kidnap that fat bloke in his little gang."

"Maybe it's not that he's really been active but he's been able to cover it up with more ease." said a lisping Essex voice from behind Hal. Dr Paris raised an eyebrow at Captain Gereraty as Hal and Gordon turned behind them to find Lovejoy and Tinker.

"Lovejoy, Tinker," Gordon said excitedly. "We've noticed you've weren't in th attic when we went there. What's the problem?"

"We escaped, Gordon, no thanks to you guys," snapped Tinker. "Let's………just try and kick Johnny Powers's ass right now."

Lovejoy turned to Tinker and punched him in the face for his arrogance. Tinker eyed Lovejoy and the others for a moment before apologising for his behavour. Captain Gereraty and Dr Paris were going over the charts Johnny Powers had put up.

"I'm having difficulties finding a pattern to Johnny Powers's work, guys." Dr Paris said.

"That's because Johnny doesn't really have a pattern, John." Captain Gereraty replied.

"Sure he does," said Hal. "We just haven't found it yet."

The six of them spun around to see a mysterious figure and had a feeling that it was Johnny himself and Lovejoy said "Whoever you are, reveal yourself."

The figure raised their hands and revealed themself. It was Charlie's Australian employee Frank Bigelow and said "God, Lovejoy, it's not exactly clever to kill me, now, is it?"

The six men all sighed as they put down the guns Hal took from Johnny's gang.

"Frank, why did you have to go and surprise us like that?" Gordon asked.

"Well, that shows how prepared you are for a surprised attack." replied Bigelow.

"So what have you learned about Johnny Powers's gang?" asked Tinker.

"Well, Tinker," said Bigelow. "It turns out Johnny's gang running around with red bands."

"Red bands??????" asked all six men.

"Yeah, red bands," replied Bigelow. "Am I speaking too fast for you guys?"

"Sorry about that." said Lovejoy for his gang as Tinker put his left arm out blocking Lovejoy's path.

"I'm sure Frank'd forgive you, Lovejoy." Tinker said.

"OK…..anything else, Frank?" asked Hal.

"Well, I overheard Johnny telling Nails that you lot might be causing some trouble." said Bigelow.

"I'm real curious," said Hal. "What happened to you and Johnny that made you two hate each other so much?"

"You don't need to worry about that, Hal." said Bigelow.

"Well, Mr Bigelow," said Captain Gereraty. "We've got another job for you."

"Oh, I can barely contain my excitement." said Bigelow.

"Yeah, well, we need a hellva lot more info on Johnny and his gang and we want you to do this for us." said Dr Paris.

"What?" asked Bigelow.

"Well, we think that the midget must be the genius behind the group since the rest of them seem kinda……not there." replied Tinker.

"So you want me to……" began Bigelow.

"We want you to go and get some information from the midget." said Gordon clearing his throat.

Bigelow giggled lightly and asked "And how do you expect me to go about that?"

"Oh, I think you can figure a way…." Lovejoy began.

"Well, I don't trust mobsters," said Bigelow. "So sure, why not?"

"Then it's a deal?" asked Hal.

"You got it, Mr Berkeley." said Bigelow as he ran off.

"Excellent." said Hal and Lovejoy like Bill & Ted and played air guitars like them as they saw Bigelow leaving.

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 10- Let's Go, Guys

It had been a few minutes since Bigelow told Lovejoy and the gang about Johnny Powers's plan and everything was quiet. For some, a little too quiet….

"Lovejoy, I swear to God," said Tinker. "If you don't tell us where that gun Eric's got is, Johnny'll kill us."

Tinker was pacing around in Charlie's study with his hands on his head, Gordon was at Charlie's desk reading a book, Lovejoy, Hal and Captain Gereraty were sitting on the couch and Dr Paris was making himself a cup of hot chocolate.

"Look, don't you find it WEIRD that nothing what-so-ever has been going on for the pass few minutes?" asked Gordon.

"Actually, Gords, I'm grateful for this little intermission of gang-related drama," Lovejoy said. "I can now get back to this novel I started what seems like eons ago…"

"Hang on, Lovejoy," groaned Charlie as he entered his study. "Aren't you bugged by this?"

"We don't think so, Charlie!" said Captain Gereraty and Dr Paris together.

Charlie plopped down on the couch between Hal and Lovejoy defeated.

"Well, I'm bored," said Hal. "The mob are up to something and I don't like it one bit."

"Hal, can't you ever just take a break for once and just relax?" asked Captain Gereraty.

Lovejoy grinned and stood straight opposite Charlie and said "You all know me! The life of the party! I can't be happy unless I got a drink in one hand and Jane in the other!"

"Yeah, Lovejoy," Dr Paris said. "Why don't we just go find a way out before Johnny catches us?"

"Not him." groaned Charlie.

"Afraid so, John," said Lovejoy. "If you're so bored of being in Charlie's Ealing home, why don't we all get out of here? I heard that Johnny might target Charlie next."

"What?" Charlie asked. "Who'd wanna kill me."

The gang looked at each other and began to head out of Charlie's study until Tinker turned to Charlie and said "Hey, Charlie, don't you wanna come with us?"

"Okay, Tinker, I'm coming." said Charlie knowing he had been defeated.

"Come on, come on, Charlie," Gordon said. "We haven't got all night!"

An hour passed and Charlie ran behind Lovejoy and the gang when he felt a hand on his left shoulder which dragged him away from Tinker. Turning around slowly, Charlie gazed upon Bigelow and said "Bloody hell, Bigelow, what's wrong now?"

"Johnny Powers is looking for you, Mr G." Bigelow replied.

"SOD IT." Charlie shouted causing Lovejoy, Hal, Captain Gereraty, Dr Paris, Gordon and Tinker all to look at both him and Bigelow.

"Afraid so, Mr G," Bigelow said. "He said that you did it with Gabby Lawson's divorced mum when she visited a few months ago and she knows that."

"I know that," snapped Charlie. "I'm not that bloody stupid."

Bigelow laughed as Charlie groaned defeatedly and asked "How did it go?"

"You know how it went, Bigelow," Charlie sighed. "She didn't like it."

It was then that Johnny and his gang showed up and held guns at Lovejoy, Charlie, Bigelow, Hal, Captain Gereraty, Dr Paris, Gordon and Tinker as they tried to escape. As they tried to get out, Lovejoy was as red as Jane and Marty's hair as Johnny asked "Going somewhere?"

"We're outta here." said Lovejoy as he pulled a handgun from Charlie's desk and pointed it at Johnny. Both Charlie and Tinker were dead silent.

"Okay, Johnny," said Tinker. "There's no need to hold us all hostage. No, really!"

"Damn you, Tinker," snarled Johnny furiously. "First Old Man Gimbert tells me that, now you."

"Johnny, you look terrible." said Nails from beside Johnny.

"No, Nails, this is what I always look like," Johnny said before turning back to Lovejoy and the others. "Sorry to leave so soon, Dudes. Me and the guys'll see you again, I'm sure."

It was then that Nails grabbed one of Charlie's antique lamps, threw it at a window and proceeded to escape with the rest of his gang. Tinker came out from behind Gordon, shooted pointlessly for a few moments in the windows direction,threw the gun he was holding down and said "GOD I hate him!"

"You know him?" Bigelow asked Tinker.

"Not really, Frank," Tinker groaned. "I was in the Mafia with his grandpa Sean O' Hara. We had our fights when he found out I was engaged to his niece Patsy Carpenter. He died in April 2000, I think."

"Wait, Sean O' Hara?" asked Lovejoy. "As in Johnny's mum's dad?"

"Afraid so." replied Tinker.

"God, Lovejoy," Hal said. "You just have to pick fights with Charlie all the time, don't you?"

Lovejoy nodded at that as Captain Gereray said "I remember him. He was the first ever criminal I caught when I first joined the police force in London!"

"Yeah, no kidding." said Dr Paris.

"Why is it every time we see those guys, they use us for target practise?" asked Gordon.

"Something tells me it wasn't my intention," replied Charlie sadly. "They hate cops and Johnny knows Tinker worked for his grandad."

"I know," said Lovejoy. "I think we should try to find out more about Johnny's lot."

"Yeah," Hal agreed. "I suggest that we-"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" shouted Tinker as he glared at Hal.

"Okay, Guys," said Gordon. "We're going home."

As Lovejoy and his gang left, Bigelow groaned and went off to the closet to get a broom to sweep up the glass from the shattered window.

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 11- The Mob Strikes Back

An hour later, Johnny and his gang were in Charlie's shed when the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy arrived.

"Wanna know why we escaped, Dudes?" asked Johnny.

"We know, Johnny," Nails said. "Lovejoy and Old Man Gimbert went crazy on us."

The mobsters who looked like Steve-O and Chris Pontius growled at Nails while the the mobster who looked like Jason "Wee Man" Acuña groaned. Johnny walked up to Nails and asked "Why the hell, Nails, did you leave your gun at Gimbert's?"

"I was gonna get it but ran out after you guys, Johnny." said Nails as Johnny sighed.

"Thanks for your time, Nails but we gotta get that gun back." said the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy.

"What the hell's this?" asked Nails. "A 'kiss my ass, Gimbert' kinda deal?"

The mobster who looked like Preston Lacy leaned close to Nails's face and said "I know you hated Old Man Gimbert. I hate him as well as the other guys do. You know he could put that gun up for auction. We're gonna get it back so I can shoot him in the face, Nails."

"Whoa, what an attitude you've got there," Nails said. "Let's go then."

"Well, Guys, I'm gonna get my goddamn gun back from that fatass Gimbert," said Nails as he hugged Johnny before leaving. "But remember: if I get caught, come and save me."

"Damnit." said the mobster who looked like Steve-O as he saw Nails leave the shed.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing?" Johnny asked.

"Nails, Dude, WAIT!" yelled the mobster who looked like Steve-O as he caught up with Nails Nathan.

"What up, Dude?" asked Nails.

"There's someone from Lovejoy's gang with that gun and he better give it back." said the mobster who looked like Steve-O.

"For God's sake, Dude, I'm a mobster, not a detective," said Nails. "Johnny might need one of the other guys to do his searching."

It was then that Nails smirked craftily and left. The mobster who looked like Steve-O sighed, hung his head and walked back to Charlie's shed. Just then, the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy spotted a mop of brown hair swishing around a corner. He grinned to himself before jogging off after the person as Johnny asked "Hey, Dude, where are you going?"

"To get information the RIGHT way!" said the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy as he headed to the Ealing Broadway shopping centre after Eric. Eric was all by himself as he felt someone following him around what seemed like the entire mall until they both went into the men's room.

"What the hell?" The mobster who looked like Preston Lacy asked himself. "Where did he go?"

"Right behind you," Eric said from behind his fat stalker. "Are you a loony, Fatso? Why are you following me?"

"Dude, I wanna know if………if I………..can join your gang," said the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy. "Johnny and the others ain't my type of guys."

"Whoa," said Eric. "If you tell me the truth, maybe I won't-"

It was then that the mobster that looked like Preston lacy elbowed Eric in the face. When he recovered, the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy had his gun out which just happened to be pointed at Eric.

"So, what this gonna turn out to be?" asked Eric. "Some sort of one on one Suburban Shootout-style gun brawl or something?"

"Let's find out, Dude." replied the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy.

It was then that the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy fired at Eric.

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 12- Capturing The Fat Guy

Both the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy and Eric dived in opposite directions as he shoots at him. Eric hit the ground hard as the m,obster who looked like Preston Lacy slid on his back to a stop. He quickly got up to see Eric charging him. Eric tackled the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy and pinned him to the cold ground. The mobster who looked like Preson Lacy struggled to get away but he couldn't budge. It was then that Eric leaned in close to him and said "As I was saying, if you tell me the truth, then we won't have to do this. I don't wanna hurt you."

The mobster who looked liek Preston Lacy's brown eyes then flared open before he, with all his might, moves his knee and slammed it against Eric's crotch causing him to yell "Whoa, now that hurt."

The mobster who looked like Preston Lacy got up and cocked his gun at Eric but amazingly, Eric alreadt had the gun Johnny and his gang were looking for ready and shot at the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy. The bullets zinged past the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy as he ducked and dodged blindingly before running out of the men's room. Eric then got up and gave chase. The mobster who looked like Preston Lacy rushed into the busy streets of Ealing with Eric on his tail. The mobster who looked like Preston Lacy turned while running and began shooting at Eric. Eric then dived behind a parked car as the car windows shattered, the last of the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy's bullets flying through it. Eric overheard the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy curse at his gun "Dude, seriously. Ran out of bullets, did you?"

The mobster who looked like Preston Lacy chuckled lightly before reaching into his jacket much to Eric's surprise. The only thing that surprised him more is what he saw next: another gun placed neatly in his shoulder holster as he told Eric as he pulled out the gun and fires a shot at him "Come on. You should know I'm loaded."

Eric leapt up on top of the car as the bullet shot under him. Eric leapt from car top to car top as the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy chased after him from the ground, firing. The mobster who looked like Preston Lacy then stumbled and hit the street ground as the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy caught up. Before Eric could get up, the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy kicked the gun Johnny was looking for out of his hand.

"Sod it." yelled Eric as he clutched his hand and ran off into the Ealing Broadway centre carpark.

"Go ahead," shouted the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy. "Run like a coward! It just makes it more interesting!"

As soon as he turned into the carpark, the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy received a trash can lid in the face. He later fell unconscious and Eric found Lovejoy behind him.

"Lovejoy, I said I didn't wanna hurt him." said Eric.

"And you didn't," replied Lovejoy. "I did."

Turning to Penny, Jane, Mark, Hal, Toby, Captain Gereraty, Rob, Dr Paris, Ross, Gordon, Sir Russell and Tinker, Eric asked "How did you guys know where to find me?"

"Eric, if we haven't seen you in over 10 minutes, we know you're probably off getting in trouble." replied Mark.

"Mark's right, Eric," Hal added. "We just had to follow the gun shots."

"Damn, Eric, you sure do know how to get someone's ass kicked!" Tinker said.

Looking at the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy's unconscious body, Eric asked "So what do we do with him?"

Picking the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy up, Sir Russell replied "We take him back to my home in Northwood. I have got a few questions I'd like to ask…."

"Great idea." Eric and Lovejoy said together.

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 13- Hostage

At Sir Russell's home in Northwood, Middlesex, Sir Russell, Tinker, Lovejoy and Eric were in Sir Russell's study surrounding a chair. Tied to that chair is their current hostage who was the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy.

"So what exactly do you think we do with our rival in this current situation, Sir Russell?" asked Lovejoy.

"Moi?" Sir Russell asked. "Why are you asking me?"

"Cause this is your place, Sir Russell." Eric said.

"Lovejoy's the one who clcoked this guy, not Sir Russell," said Tinker as he knelt in front of the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy. "He's still out cold."

Tinker shook the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy awake and he shot awake and yelled instinctively surprising Tinker and knocking him down.

"He's up," Eric said. "Cover your ears or he'll scream louder than Sir Russell's butler Stone who looks like Russell Brand."

"It's okay, Eric," said Lovejoy. "You haven't got anything to worry about."

"Well, Lovejoy, you really are from Mars." said Eric as Sir Russell chuckled softly.

"You're that fat guy from Johnny Powers's gang, right?" asked Tinker.

"Yeah," said the mobster who looked Preston Lacy. "Why, are you setting me up with some girl, Tinker?"

Tinker slapped a hand over his mouth as Lovejoy and Eric chucked. Sir Russell simply rolled his eyes.

"Well, this gentleman's trouble," said Sir Russell. "You three gentlemen should go to your meeting and I know you can't have him accompany you."

"I think you should baby-sit the fat guy while we go home since it's his fault he's here in the first place." said Tinker.

"Well, Lord Tinker, you have a point there." said Sir Russell.

"And we gotta go." said Lovejoy.

"OKAY!" said Stone as he entered the room. "Alright, fine……Me and Sir Russ here'll watch the fat git."

Lovejoy, Tinker and Eric left leaving the three men alone. The guys arrive at the east side of Stratford in front of a plain little store. Lovejoy knocked on the front door in a certain patter while Tinker and Eric stood at his sides.

"Whoa, this is heavy." said Eric.

The eyes peeping through the door belonged to Charlie who opened the door a bit more, curious as to why Lovejoy, Tinker and Eric were here.

"Hey, Charlie." said Eric.

Back at Sir Russell's home in Northwood, Stone arrived with a mug of hot chocolate for Sir Russell while the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy remained tied to the chair with Sir Russell himself surrounding him. The mobster who looked like Preston Lacy's silence was beginning to unnerve Sir Russell as he said "You're very quiet, my good man."

Both Sir Russell and Stone frowned and stood in front of the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy.

"What's the matter, mate?" asked Stone. "Cat got your tongue?"

Determined to get something out of the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy, Sir Russell knelt down so that he was face to face with Johnny Powers's fat mobster and asked "Well?"

Just then, the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy looked up bit Sir Russell's index finger. Sir Russell shot up and clutched his finger.

"Sorry," said the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy. "But I hate the smell of hot chocolate on a snobby Limey jerk's breath."

"WHY YOU LITTLE……" Stone began as he raised his fist to punch the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy in the face but he then stopped and lowered his hand.

"Don't even try, Monsieur," said Sir Russell as he sat in a lounge chair to the side of the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy. "We can do this all night if we have to."

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 14- What Are You Talking About, Charlie?

At Charlie's home in Ealing, Lovejoy, Tinker and Eric sat in the living room with Charlie as Tinker asked "How you doin', Charlie?"

"I'm going nuts, Tinker," replied Charlie as he opened a door that lead outside to the back. "Honestly, things have been picking up lately."

The back held about 30 people who were all teenagers. A few of them were kissing while listening to rock music and Bigelow was looking at them but despite Charlie's hatred of teenegaers and hippies, the area was fenced off from the streets and roads.

"Holy crap," said Lovejoy. "They's sure a lot more kids the last time we were here."

"Hey, guys." said Eric as he ran over to the teenagers and every teenage girl jumped him lustfully and started smothering him with kisses.

"ERIC!" yelled Lovejoy.

Back at Sir Russell's home in Northwood, Stone was sitting in the lounge chair about to doze off when the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy asked "What's the deal with you guys anyway?"

"What the bloody hell?" Stone asked as he woke up a bit.

"You heard the gentleman," replied Sir Russell smiling. "It's really simple actually. Our deal is to show auctioneers how much better aristocratic anqtique dealers are than real dealers. It's really not that hard."

Stone stood up, yawned and walked over to the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy who stared at both him and Sir Russell with a bit of curiosity in his eyes. The mobster who looked like Preston Lacy gritted his teeth and was about to say something when a loud thud was heard outside. Sir Russell snapped his head up and quickly pulled out a 1925 antique handgun.

"That sounded like it came from outside the place, Sir Russell," said Stone and just then, the front door was kicked open and a body drops down and kicked Stone right in the leg causing him to groan a bit. "Oh sod it, not you again."

"Nice to see you too." said Johnny as he glared at Stone.

Later at Charlie's home, the teenagers were having a barbeque as Lovejoy asked Eric "Bigelow's soup's called 'Tomato Surprise'? Wow!"

"So you guy know what Johnny's lot are up to as well, eh?" asked Charlie.

"Come on," Tinker groaned. "I sent his grandpa to jail in 1984."

Bigelow smiled cooly at Lovejoy and his gang as he walked up to them and did a thigh slap.

"Hey, guys," said Bigelow. "How've y-"

"Frank," Charlie said. "Why the bloody hell are these kids here?"

"I told them to hide from Johnny Powers's mob," said Bigelow. "Johnny's not too happy with me as you know."

"We know, Frank," said Lovejoy. "Me and Tink've had our run-ins with him as well."

"Lovejoy, remember when Charlie said we needed to keep our eyes open to the mob?" asked Tinker.

Lovejoy nodded as Eric looked at the teenagers who then greeted him like a long lost friend as Eric asked "Ain't it a little suspicious that these kids just happen to be here the same day we are?"

"Well, Eric," said Tinker. "I wouldn't say suspi-"

"Don't worry, guys," said Lovejoy. "I'll see what these kids are here for!"

"No way, Lovejoy," said Tinker. "You'll just-"

"You don't think I can do it, Lovejoy?" asked Eric.

"Good luck, Eric," said Lovejoy. "I'm beginning to get the feeling that he felt left out for being captured by the mob."

"OKAY," shouted Tinker. "Go talk to them, Eric."

"Okay, guys." said Eric as he ran off towards the teenagers again.

"Let's hope he dosen't screw this up, Tink." sighed Lovejoy and Tinker agreed.

Back at Sir Russell's home in Northwood, Sir Russell found himself against Johnny Powers and asked "What are you doing here, Johnny?"

"We've come to get our buddy back," replied Johnny. "Nails figured he'd be here. I'll give you one chance to step aside."

"Please," said Stone. "Do you really think- BUGGER."

Stone yelled 'BUGGER' as Nails kicked him in the stomach with force.

"I warned you." said Nails smugly.

[Race's Girl]

Chapter 15- Hey, Ho, Let's Go

By this time, Stone got up on his feet, eyes focused in a glare entirely on Johnny. Talking wasn't going to get any of them anywhere and this was going to be tough.

"Okay, let's rock." said Johnny as he charged at Stone with Stone charging back.

At Charlie's home in Ealing, Lovejoy and Charlie were still talking off somewhere unknown. Tinker was beginning to become unnerved. Eric and Bigelow were taking care of some of the people in the shelter. Bigelow was about to yell at Eric when his ears picked up the sound of tires screeching. There was a red 1955 cadillac headed right towards them.

"GODDAMNIT!" yelled Tinker.

"WHOA!" said Eric.

"OH CRAP!" yelled Lovejoy.

"GET THE TEENAGERS OUT OF HERE!" Charlie yelled to Bigelow.

The car was approaching and fast. The teenagers were running around trying to find safe places to hide while Tinker, Lovejoy and Eric all tried to help calm the crowd. It was then that they heard the first gunshot.

Back at Sir Russell's home in Northwood, Nails gasped as Sir Russell delivered a kick across his face throwing him back. Nails wiped the blood away from his lips before delivering three punches at Stones's face and a trip to his feet causing him to fall. Sir Russell then grabbed Nails's ankles and tugged as hard as he could sending Nails crashing down and slamming his head against the floor with force. Sir Russell then got on top of Nails and proceeded to punching his face with all his might.

"Why are you even trying?" asked Nails. "As much as I hate to admit it, Johnny's the leader, not me."

Getting off of Nails and walking over to Johnny, Sir Russell leaned forward and said "Think what you want, Monsieur Powers. As you can see, I'm not the one with a gun."

"But you're the dude who's about to get a good ass kicking." said Johnny.

Sir Russell and Stone frowned and turned their heads. Nails was charging forward and preparing to deliver a flying kick. Sir Russell quickly grabbed the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy's chair and set him in front of Nails. Nails made contact with the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy and set him and the chair he was tied to flying, shards of wood shooting out.

"You make a great shield, Sir," Sir Russell told the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy and turned to Nails and Johnny, Nails recovering from the kick. "Why can't you just stay down?"

It was then that Johnny delivered a hard punch to Sir Russell's face followed by a set of kicks, jabs and chops to his face, neck and stomach. Stone staggered back with Sir Russell.

"I warned you, A-hole," the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy told Sir Russell. "When will you lea-"

It was then that a chair smashed against the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy's head knocking him down and out. Stone dropped the chair the mobster who looked like Preston Lacy was tied to which was almost completely destroyed after smashing against the wall and threw the three mobsters out of the house.

"You're a good fighter, Nails," Johnny said once they were outside. "That doesn't make you smart. We oughta keep out of Old Man Gimbert's way."

"WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?" asked Charlie as he scooped a teeange girl in his arms.

"HOW THE BLOODY HELL SHOULD I KNOW?" yelled Lovejoy as he helped a teenage boy hide. "WE KNOW THEY'RE FROM JOHNNY POWERS'S LOT!"

"HURRY UP," yelled Tinker. "WE DON'T WANT THESE PEOPLE GETTI-"

It was then that Tinker stumbled back as a bullet went through his shoulder spurting blood.

"TINK!!" yelled Lovejoy and Eric together.

Soon, the drive-byers zoomed off leaving Charlie's back garden. Lovejoy ran to Tinker's side and leaned down. Tinker was on the ground, grasping his shoulder, his eyes clenched shut and his teeth grinding together.

"Bloody hell," said Eric as he tied Tinker's tie to the wound. "That's a bad hit, Tink."

Charlie crouched over on Tinker's other side, pried one of his eyes open and said "His eyes are becoming bloodshot. This isn't good….."

"I know, Charlie." said Lovejoy.

"We heard gunshots," asked a teenage girl. "What…..happened……"

"Mr G," Bigelow said as he saw Tinker. "Tinker was hit, TINKER WAS HIT!"

"FRANK, CALM DOWN," yelled Charlie. "YOU'RE GLAD YOU'RE NOT HURTING HIM!!"

Bigelow looked worried before turning to Lovejoy and Eric.

"He looks pretty bad, guys," said Charlie. "He's gonna need some bandaging up and I'm afraid to do it here after that drive-by."

"Let's go home." suggested Eric.

"Eric," said Lovejoy. "We've got to get Tink to a hospital."

"Don't worry, Mr G," said Bigelow. "I'll stay behind and clean up."

"Thanks, Bigelow," said Charlie. "That'd be sweet."

It was then that Charlie stood up followed by Eric and said "Okay, let's get him to the Ealing hospital."

"Hey, Lovejoy," yelled Eric. "Let's go to the Ealing hospital, okay?"

"Okay!" said Lovejoy as he leaned down to pick up Tinker.