Friday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 03-21-2008, 10:01 AM

"The Bensonhurst Bomber":

Ralph: "Why did he say: 'Hey, get a load of fatso there.'?"

Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits."

"Pal O' Mine":

Ralph: "Butter on my finger?" (yells): "AT 89 CENTS A POUND." (normally): "Would you stop throwing my money around? Is there any lard around here?"

Alice: "Yeah about 300 lbs. of it."

"Great Jewel Robbery":

(Ralph is collecting money from all the bus drivers to get the boss' daughter a wedding present which will give all the bus drivers a raise and it will get Ralph on the boss' good side.)

Man: "Thank you for being the instigator in getting us a raise. Someday, you will be known as the John L. Lewis of the bus drivers."

(He leaves.)

Ralph: "I like to remove his nose."

"Hot Dog Stand":

Mr. Foster: "Loans are the lifeblood of a bank."

Ralph: "Good because we are in desperate need of a transfusion."

"Dial J For Janitor":

Ralph: "I didn't empty out your garbage because it is part of my efficency system. Your garbage can was half full. When it's full-full, then I will empty it. That way, I will make one trip instead of two. Save a trip here, save a trip there and it all mounts up."

Ed: "That is what I am afraid of. It's mounting up all over the building."

"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":

Ralph: "For once you are right. Alice should have married Johnny Farell. He's a much smarter guy than I am."

Alice's Mom: "So you admit it."

Ralph: "Sure. He took one look at you and refused to marry her."

"Dinner Guest":

Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?"

Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired."

Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set."

(A pause.)

Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set."

Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired."

Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired."

"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":

Ralph (to Charlie): "I'm on a diet. I've gone from 220."

Ed: "That's his room number. He actually gone from 280."

"The Main Event":

Dynamite: "I need a manager. Someone who will give fights."

Ed: "Why don't you get the guy you KOed in 12 seconds?"

03-21-2008, 10:01 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,072	Friday's Quotes: "The Bensonhurst Bomber": Ralph: "Why did he say: 'Hey, get a load of fatso there.'?" Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits." "Pal O' Mine": Ralph: "Butter on my finger?" (yells): "AT 89 CENTS A POUND." (normally): "Would you stop throwing my money around? Is there any lard around here?" Alice: "Yeah about 300 lbs. of it." "Great Jewel Robbery": (Ralph is collecting money from all the bus drivers to get the boss' daughter a wedding present which will give all the bus drivers a raise and it will get Ralph on the boss' good side.) Man: "Thank you for being the instigator in getting us a raise. Someday, you will be known as the John L. Lewis of the bus drivers." (He leaves.) Ralph: "I like to remove his nose." "Hot Dog Stand": Mr. Foster: "Loans are the lifeblood of a bank." Ralph: "Good because we are in desperate need of a transfusion." "Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "I didn't empty out your garbage because it is part of my efficency system. Your garbage can was half full. When it's full-full, then I will empty it. That way, I will make one trip instead of two. Save a trip here, save a trip there and it all mounts up." Ed: "That is what I am afraid of. It's mounting up all over the building." "Rafitti, Brooklyn Style": Ralph: "For once you are right. Alice should have married Johnny Farell. He's a much smarter guy than I am." Alice's Mom: "So you admit it." Ralph: "Sure. He took one look at you and refused to marry her." "Dinner Guest": Man: "Me and my wife are big TV fans. Where's the TV?" Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "It's out getting repaired." Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "We don't have a TV set." (A pause.) Ralph (speaking at the same time as Alice): "We don't have a TV set." Alice (speaking at the same time as Ralph): "It's out getting repaired." Ralph: "What my wife is trying to say is that if we had a TV set, it would be out getting repaired." "Hawaii! Oh! Oh!": Ralph (to Charlie): "I'm on a diet. I've gone from 220." Ed: "That's his room number. He actually gone from 280." "The Main Event": Dynamite: "I need a manager. Someone who will give fights." Ed: "Why don't you get the guy you KOed in 12 seconds?"