I'm nursing a broken heart. . . . - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Steve M. · 03-12-2008, 11:04 PM

I'm in love with this really sweet, wonderful woman I've known for over a year but she has a boyfriend already. I realized I loved her when, about a year ago, she told me she hoped to marry her boyfriend and I chose to let her do so because I wanted her to be happy.

She's engaged now, and the wedding is this summer. I've had to go through the pain of loving someone who doesn't love me back, and even though I'm still friends with her, I can't tell her how I feel. How could I still be friends with her?
I don't know how I'm going to recover from this blow, especially when I knew she was taken and fell in love with her anyway. She didn't break my heart; I broke my own.

I feel pretty miserable now. . . .

Mikado · 03-12-2008, 11:16 PM

I surely know the pain of unrequited love Steve and you may not want to hear it but, the best thing is to let her go; shes already told you she loves the man that shes about to marry. If you REALLY care for her all you can do is wish her happiness and go your own way....it would be best for all involved.

Steve M. · 03-12-2008, 11:21 PM

I only know I love her because I'm letting her go, but I hope I can at least remain friends with her, because she's worth holding onto as a friend.

Her brother told her she's lucky to have a friend like me.

Mikado · 03-12-2008, 11:30 PM

Thats cool

...hey , who knows, maybe youll meet a nice girl at the wedding

Steve M. · 03-12-2008, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikado

Thats cool

...hey , who knows, maybe youll meet a nice girl at the wedding

Yes, my ladyfriend has several nice friends of her own. Maybe I can hit it off with one of them.

vtunie · 03-12-2008, 11:40 PM

Forgive me, Steve, I must echo Mikado's words. (Ugh, your story does ring a bell.)

I'm not saying women and men can't be friends, but in my (bitter) experience it's impossible if the guy feels something more. Other women -- that's the way to go.

Good luck and happy hunting!

------
Alex

junecleaver · 03-12-2008, 11:42 PM

Thats a good idea, you might meet someone at the wedding

If you think optimisticly, good things will happen. I understand what you mean, and a married man/woman needs good friends to hold on to, and you sound to be about the best one she has. Why don't you tell her that? Tell her that you really want to remain friends with her, and continue to stay in touch. She won't know unless you tell her. And she will most likely think the same way you do.

Steve M. · 03-12-2008, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junecleaver

Thats a good idea, you might meet someone at the wedding

If you think optimisticly, good things will happen. I understand what you mean, and a married man/woman needs good friends to hold on to, and you sound to be about the best one she has. Why don't you tell her that? Tell her that you really want to remain friends with her, and continue to stay in touch. She won't know unless you tell her. And she will most likely think the same way you do.

I plan to do just that!

I was able to meet one woman already because of her. This other woman went out with me on the stregnth of her recommendation.

Courtnee · 03-13-2008, 10:56 AM

I know the feeling.

But I agree, you should just let her go and find a cutie at the wedding to talk to.

If you tell her, it'll start drama between you, her fiance, and her, so it's best to just keep it to yourself and try to get over her.

I hope I didn't sound to harsh.

TeeVeeCloset · 03-13-2008, 10:56 AM

I never get personal on these boards, but hey what the hell since I sympathize with what your going though......I make this as brief and consise as possible.....shortly I am now 45, never been married and am "one of the nice guys", with that humor that women always claim they want, in fact I am a comedy televsion writer/producer with a fantastic job for the last 28 years, I am in good shape but not muscular and never had a woman admit to any things like your not attractive enough, so I'm guessing I'm good looking enough. I have been though 4 "serious relationships".......more about that later....20 years ago, I met a woman though work that blew me away, we did the usual happy chat, and became friends...I was on the verge of ending my first real girlfriend relationship of 5 years.....so yes I was looking....anyway we became friends, she had a boyfirend for 6 months, that all she ever did from minute one was complain about him, he was violent, though food, screamed at her, etc. She always told me I was so sweet, etc. We went out off and on as friends for many years, we never quite connected our schedules, when I was available, she wouldn't commit, bottom line she never left the guy, married him 5 years ago....last year a 8 year, 8 month realtionship ended suddenly, I was devastated...without warning my gf (who I was living with, she didn't want to get married) came in and said "I don't love you anymore".....after months of shock, I started to get consolement from my old dear friend of nearly 20 years, she was still misserable with this guy.......I decided to put it on the line.....I said, look I have been in love with you for 20 years!!!! dreamed of marrying you, I can buy you a home in NJ with cash and treat you like an angel for life...as long as you think you can give it a try and see if you can fall in love with me back...again this woman had always said for the 20 years, I was the sweetest, most wonderful guy in the world...we agreed it would not go beyond just occasionally social time...no kissing, no sex.....since she was married...I agreed...she said let's give it a year....it worked for 2 months....she actually said she could fall in love with me, etc.....then all of a sudden she was guilt ridden, backed out of everything and that was it....we took several months to get confortable around eachother again, but I still care for her deeply but it took me to finally say to her, I have loved you for 20 years, put all my dreams and fantasies on the table, have her officially turn me down for me to get over her....I still adore her, but not in the same heart pounding excitement way.....so I say go for it, but if she seems happy and in love with her future husband, then she probably just doesn't feel enough chemistry with you......I have met many women who seem not be able to just be honest and hurt our feelings even, they string you along, they like the flattery and attention and use men as a backup plan....all along if my friend had said....look I will never think of you that way...I would have been much happier for the past 20 years instead she always gave me some hope, even though I never admitted total secret crush/love until recently as stated before...but she knew since day 3 of knowing her, I was very much smitten by her, she claimed she didn't know....BS...everytime we went out, I sent roses, etc.

Anyway I hope that helps, or maybe I needed to vent.....after my 8 year relationship ended, I pursued my friend, after that failed I met a night nurse while getting back surgery who was 17 years younger than me (I know what a fantasy guys), but again I am sincere and didn't care about that....the moment I saw her, of course I was on morphine...I had some type of "where have you been all my life" moment (not based on lust)...anyway after 3 nights I gave her my contact info, she gave hers..I asked her if she was single, she said yes with no boyfriend......by the way, she was gorgeous and from poland.....right after getting out of the hospital, I contacted her, we went for coffee...it went well.....we kept emailing...planned more dates....halfway throught the nearly 8 month relationship, she tells she is married!!!!!! and living with him for immigration reasons!!!! This was two weeks after I dropped $500 on her for birthday presents!!!!!!!

my advice right now for all men is.....fill in the rest for yourself.....lol!!!!!!!! currently happily single and planning a trip to vegas....Nice guys finish last!!!!!

TeeVeeCloset · 03-13-2008, 11:01 AM

BTW, I know my very long post above is filled with typos, etc...but it was a spur of the moment post and I am much more articulate and can spell very well but was in a hurry....lol......

Mikado · 03-13-2008, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Nice guys finish last!!!!!

Tell me about it!!!!! =_='

Steve M. · 03-13-2008, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TeeVeeCloset

BTW, I know my very long post above is filled with typos, etc...but it was a spur of the moment post and I am much more articulate and can spell very well but was in a hurry....lol......

Don't worry, TeeVee, I'm happy to hear you out. That's what we're here for. Sorry nothing ever worked out for you.

My ladyfriend and I have what I call an Archie-Betty relationship, with one key difference. . . .

I'm Betty!

Mikado · 03-13-2008, 01:56 PM

Betty hmmm.....well, maybe you should try a sex-change (just kidding Steve

)

Mikado · 03-13-2008, 01:58 PM

Personally, I always thought Archie should have dumped that Witch Veronica, and went back to Betty (Who was his GF, until Veronica moved to town and stole him from the perky blonde) (See Archie comics from 1941 to 43)

03-12-2008, 11:04 PM	#1
Steve M. Back on the road to reality Forum Superstar Join Date: Nov 07, 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 33,307	I'm nursing a broken heart. . . . I'm in love with this really sweet, wonderful woman I've known for over a year but she has a boyfriend already. I realized I loved her when, about a year ago, she told me she hoped to marry her boyfriend and I chose to let her do so because I wanted her to be happy. She's engaged now, and the wedding is this summer. I've had to go through the pain of loving someone who doesn't love me back, and even though I'm still friends with her, I can't tell her how I feel. How could I still be friends with her? I don't know how I'm going to recover from this blow, especially when I knew she was taken and fell in love with her anyway. She didn't break my heart; I broke my own. I feel pretty miserable now. . . .

03-13-2008, 10:56 AM	#9
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413	I know the feeling. But I agree, you should just let her go and find a cutie at the wedding to talk to. If you tell her, it'll start drama between you, her fiance, and her, so it's best to just keep it to yourself and try to get over her. I hope I didn't sound to harsh.
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

03-12-2008, 11:16 PM	#2
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	I surely know the pain of unrequited love Steve and you may not want to hear it but, the best thing is to let her go; shes already told you she loves the man that shes about to marry. If you REALLY care for her all you can do is wish her happiness and go your own way....it would be best for all involved.

03-12-2008, 11:21 PM	#3
Steve M. Back on the road to reality Forum Superstar Join Date: Nov 07, 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 33,307	I only know I love her because I'm letting her go, but I hope I can at least remain friends with her, because she's worth holding onto as a friend. Her brother told her she's lucky to have a friend like me.

03-12-2008, 11:30 PM	#4
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	Thats cool ...hey , who knows, maybe youll meet a nice girl at the wedding

03-12-2008, 11:40 PM	#6
vtunie Member Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 23, 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 592	Forgive me, Steve, I must echo Mikado's words. (Ugh, your story does ring a bell.) I'm not saying women and men can't be friends, but in my (bitter) experience it's impossible if the guy feels something more. Other women -- that's the way to go. Good luck and happy hunting! ------ Alex

03-12-2008, 11:42 PM	#7
junecleaver Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 28, 2003 Location: i'm a southerner! :D Posts: 1,298	Thats a good idea, you might meet someone at the wedding If you think optimisticly, good things will happen. I understand what you mean, and a married man/woman needs good friends to hold on to, and you sound to be about the best one she has. Why don't you tell her that? Tell her that you really want to remain friends with her, and continue to stay in touch. She won't know unless you tell her. And she will most likely think the same way you do.

03-13-2008, 10:56 AM	#10
TeeVeeCloset Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 25, 2003 Posts: 1,873	I never get personal on these boards, but hey what the hell since I sympathize with what your going though......I make this as brief and consise as possible.....shortly I am now 45, never been married and am "one of the nice guys", with that humor that women always claim they want, in fact I am a comedy televsion writer/producer with a fantastic job for the last 28 years, I am in good shape but not muscular and never had a woman admit to any things like your not attractive enough, so I'm guessing I'm good looking enough. I have been though 4 "serious relationships".......more about that later....20 years ago, I met a woman though work that blew me away, we did the usual happy chat, and became friends...I was on the verge of ending my first real girlfriend relationship of 5 years.....so yes I was looking....anyway we became friends, she had a boyfirend for 6 months, that all she ever did from minute one was complain about him, he was violent, though food, screamed at her, etc. She always told me I was so sweet, etc. We went out off and on as friends for many years, we never quite connected our schedules, when I was available, she wouldn't commit, bottom line she never left the guy, married him 5 years ago....last year a 8 year, 8 month realtionship ended suddenly, I was devastated...without warning my gf (who I was living with, she didn't want to get married) came in and said "I don't love you anymore".....after months of shock, I started to get consolement from my old dear friend of nearly 20 years, she was still misserable with this guy.......I decided to put it on the line.....I said, look I have been in love with you for 20 years!!!! dreamed of marrying you, I can buy you a home in NJ with cash and treat you like an angel for life...as long as you think you can give it a try and see if you can fall in love with me back...again this woman had always said for the 20 years, I was the sweetest, most wonderful guy in the world...we agreed it would not go beyond just occasionally social time...no kissing, no sex.....since she was married...I agreed...she said let's give it a year....it worked for 2 months....she actually said she could fall in love with me, etc.....then all of a sudden she was guilt ridden, backed out of everything and that was it....we took several months to get confortable around eachother again, but I still care for her deeply but it took me to finally say to her, I have loved you for 20 years, put all my dreams and fantasies on the table, have her officially turn me down for me to get over her....I still adore her, but not in the same heart pounding excitement way.....so I say go for it, but if she seems happy and in love with her future husband, then she probably just doesn't feel enough chemistry with you......I have met many women who seem not be able to just be honest and hurt our feelings even, they string you along, they like the flattery and attention and use men as a backup plan....all along if my friend had said....look I will never think of you that way...I would have been much happier for the past 20 years instead she always gave me some hope, even though I never admitted total secret crush/love until recently as stated before...but she knew since day 3 of knowing her, I was very much smitten by her, she claimed she didn't know....BS...everytime we went out, I sent roses, etc. Anyway I hope that helps, or maybe I needed to vent.....after my 8 year relationship ended, I pursued my friend, after that failed I met a night nurse while getting back surgery who was 17 years younger than me (I know what a fantasy guys), but again I am sincere and didn't care about that....the moment I saw her, of course I was on morphine...I had some type of "where have you been all my life" moment (not based on lust)...anyway after 3 nights I gave her my contact info, she gave hers..I asked her if she was single, she said yes with no boyfriend......by the way, she was gorgeous and from poland.....right after getting out of the hospital, I contacted her, we went for coffee...it went well.....we kept emailing...planned more dates....halfway throught the nearly 8 month relationship, she tells she is married!!!!!! and living with him for immigration reasons!!!! This was two weeks after I dropped $500 on her for birthday presents!!!!!!! my advice right now for all men is.....fill in the rest for yourself.....lol!!!!!!!! currently happily single and planning a trip to vegas....Nice guys finish last!!!!!

03-13-2008, 11:01 AM	#11
TeeVeeCloset Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 25, 2003 Posts: 1,873	BTW, I know my very long post above is filled with typos, etc...but it was a spur of the moment post and I am much more articulate and can spell very well but was in a hurry....lol......

03-13-2008, 01:56 PM	#14
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	Betty hmmm.....well, maybe you should try a sex-change (just kidding Steve )

03-13-2008, 01:58 PM	#15
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	Personally, I always thought Archie should have dumped that Witch Veronica, and went back to Betty (Who was his GF, until Veronica moved to town and stole him from the perky blonde) (See Archie comics from 1941 to 43)