Shirley Jones: How she manages to stay married 30 years...

[Ireneparalegal]

PARADE Magazine, Sunday, February 3, 2008

How has Shirley Jones, 73, managed to stay married to brash comic Marty Ingels?

Shirley: "We gave our money to a marriage counselor instead of a divorce lawyer. We just celebrated - maybe 'survived' is a better word - our 30th anniversary."

Shirley Jones guest-stars this week on the soap DAYS OF OUR LIVES.



To Shirley and Marty. At least we know they love each other enough to try and make things work out rather than take the easy road out like so many celebrities. They know what the word COMMITMENT means.

[kooky12]

I wonder if the marriage counseling was recent. It's strange to imagine a couple in their 70s walking in for counseling.

[Ireneparalegal]

No, actually I had read a while back they had been in counseling when things got rocky. They may go in when they feel the need to do so. Some people do visit a therapist or counselor throughout their relationship.

[catlover79]

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

PARADE Magazine, Sunday, February 3, 2008

How has Shirley Jones, 73, managed to stay married to brash comic Marty Ingels?

Shirley: "We gave our money to a marriage counselor instead of a divorce lawyer. We just celebrated - maybe 'survived' is a better word - our 30th anniversary."

Shirley Jones guest-stars this week on the soap DAYS OF OUR LIVES.



To Shirley and Marty. At least we know they love each other enough to try and make things work out rather than take the easy road out like so many celebrities. They know what the word COMMITMENT means.

Well said! I still remember Marty's guest appearance on Bewitched as the befuddled Diaper Dan - who ended up checking into a home after Sam and Endora uncovered his scheme to ruin Darrin's campaign.

[torcan]

Originally Posted by catlover79

Well said! I still remember Marty's guest appearance on Bewitched as the befuddled Diaper Dan - who ended up checking into a home after Sam and Endora uncovered his scheme to ruin Darrin's campaign.

He was also quite funny on the game show "Tattletales". He and Shirley appeared a few times on the '80s version of the show.

[catlover79]

Their 1990 book Shirley & Marty: An Unlikely Love Story is a good read. I give them all the credit in the world for making their love story work for 35+ years (they began dating when Shirley was separated from Jack Cassidy, who had walked out on her).

[caro]

Originally Posted by catlover79

Their 1990 book Shirley & Marty: An Unlikely Love Story is a good read. I give them all the credit in the world for making their love story work for 35+ years (they began dating when Shirley was separated from Jack Cassidy, who had walked out on her).

Jack didn't walk out on her. He had a nervous Breakdown.

I at least got this changed on FINDADEATH.com

Shirley and Jack divorced, but seemingly still held a candle for each other. In February of 1976, Jack gave an interview in which he said, "Oh I still love Shirley... If I had worked at the marriage, we wouldn't be divorced today."

Shirley Jones said in a recent interview, " He wanted to come back to me right up until the day he died," she said. "And I wanted him. That's the terrible part. Much as I love Marty (Ingels) and have a wonderful relationship - I'd say this is Marty were sitting here - I'm not sure if Jack were alive, I'd be married to him."

Here is one of Jack's last interview where he indicates that the divorce was a mistake

Matinee Idol Jack Cassidy, flashing a familiar smile, in the direction of adoring-aging fanswho are flirting from across the crowded room, is saying that this "gragarious facade" in not the real Jack Cassidy.

"My needs have changed," Lament Cassidy,49, more handsome then ever in middle age. "I've had all the hosannas and bouquets. Fame doesn't soothe the tired brow. Right now I wish I were on a farm doing physical work, gulping fresh air. That would be the golden solace.

Why would Jack Cassidy, supremely successful, require cheer and diversion? What's bothering him are the twist and turns of his personal life.

"Oh, I still love Shirley," says Cassidy about Shirley Jones, from whom he was divorced after 19 years of marriage and three teen aged sons, "If I had worked on the marriage, we wouldn't be divorced today."

What went wrong?

"Too much togetherness," he says about a marriage that included working together in nightclubs. "Then, too, Shirley needed to be needed. She felt I wanted her rather than needed her. I wish we hadn't divorced. But when I think of getting together again. I don't have a clue about how to bring about a reconciliation. She's dating someone now and I wound not dream of intruding. "

Cassidy and David, his 23- year old son by his first marriage, are in the midst of a Hollywood style father-son fued. Cassidy won't specify why that relationship soured. Gossip is that Jack is envious of David's success at a young age.

Jack Cassidy has done 27 Broadway shows.

David,s who appeared with Shirley Jones in one television series "The Partridge Family" is equally well known.
"We're not friends. We don't see each other. We're not speaking," rat-a-tats Cassidy, who isn't smiling now. " But I have three other sons. He has but one father," he add resolutely.

Cassidy lives in a $100,000 3 bedroom condominium in Monteray, California. The apartment, decorated in the redwood and rustic way, is part of the sprawling Monteray Dune Colony Complex. It faces the ocean. When he is home, Cassidy jogs daily along the shore.

" Water is humbling", he says of the effect of the sea on his psyche. "The ocean is a wonderful contradiction of ultimate peace and overwhelming power. It's the vast liquid expanse that make you feel small."

Cassidy, who is pursued by women who call or write proposals or propositions, says it is very hard for him to meet interesting women outside the theatrical world.

"I avoid dating actresses", he says. "Theres always a subtle feeling of competition between us. The actress who is young and single is dedicated to her work and thats all she want to talk about," says Cassidy, "Thats boring."
When asked what makes a woman attractive to him he says he would like to marry again and he is looking he replies. "The woman who is beautiful, has a steady sense of humor and a great optimism about the challenge of life." he says.

"IF she is beautiful in the classic sense and riddled with pessimism - she isn't beautiful at all".

HE continues,. "It has also been my experience that the woman who has a happy realtionship with her father if likely to have a good marriage."
"A father exerts enormous influence on a duaghter's future." says Cassidy who sometime asks a date to tell him about her patriarch.
"A woman subconsciouly measures all men by the image of her father."

Cassidy is considered one of the country's best dressed men. Melandandri, the famous manhattan tailor designs his custom made suits and tuxedos. "I have got enough clothes to last me the rest of my life," says Cassidy. HE currently owns 150 suits. "Actually I am very conservative. I've found good clothes, like good furniture, have a high rate of survival in this fad filled world.
Apparently, Cassidy, a Catholic, who doesn't attend church. has to quote him, "Turn to God" to help ease the severed family relationships.

"Christ and the Bible have helped me through the past year." he says. "In a way, I've become a bit of a recluse and a loner. I don't go to parties much anymore. You see. I've already been that route. "I'm looking for something more.
Cassidy said the "more" he is seeking is a happy home of his own.

He said, "A man's home is his castle, especially if he has the right woman around him. What I have now is a bachelor's apartment. But, I am living day-to-day, not dwelling on the pas, hoping my life will be in focus in the near future.

Cassidy said that so-called stardom in "unfulfilling" because fame is a nebulus acheivement. The fact that you're a star doesn't help at all the cement relationships with the people you love.
Stardom in an empty vessel. What do you do with an empty vessel?"

Yet Cassidy, oozing ambition, dropped out of high school to do bit part in musical shows on and off Broadway. His father, a railrood engineer, would have preferred him to go to college. When he couldn't work on stage. Cassidy operated an elevator, was a salesman, and worked as a hotel waiter. "I was a go-getter and a hustler".
"I have accomplished my goals now and I think there is something more".
"Well maybe I am going through 'male menopause" Halfway through a life, a man is suppose to stop and think about what he has done. Is it of real value?
What it all boils down to is this" A man has to please someone besides himself. IF he doesn't life is without meaning.

http://news.google.com/newspapers?id...ssidy+and+male +menopause&hl=en
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