Tuesday's Quotes, Honeymooners TV Schedule, & Ralph Kramden, a NY Giants fan? Part 5

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are at the victory parade in New York.)

Ralph: “There is Jeremy Shockey. There is Tom Coughlin.”

(The audience applauds.)

Ralph: “You know, last year Tom’s job was up in the air. Now look at him. He’s on top of the world.”

Ed: “He’s on top of the worlld and on top of where I work.”

Ralph: “Yes. I could have been a great football star. But, I was a little too heavy.”

Man: “You’re too fat to be a horse man.”

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON!” (to the man, yells): “ARE YOU TO SUPPOSED TO BE A MART-ALLECK OR SOMETHING?”

Man: “Yeah. Ha ha ha.”

Ralph (yells): “ARE YOU ASKING FOR TROUBLE?”

Man: “Yeah. Bring it on man. I can beat you up. Your arms look like stringbeans.”

Ed: “No, they are not. They are strong, but they are covered with fat.”

Man: “You know, those Giants were lucky to beat my Pats. I am only here to ridicule people and cause trouble.”

Ralph (yells): “YOU GOT IT PAL! I WILL KNOCK YOU OUT! LET’S GO! LET’S GO!”

Man (sarcastically): “Oh, I am so frightened. Ha ha ha.”

Ralph (yells): “I WIL BEAT YOU JUST AS BADLY AS THE GIANTS BEAT THE PATS.”

(Ralph fights with the guy who is smaller than he is. Police come to pry them apart. They both get arrested. As Ralph is being hauled away, he sees Ed.)

Ed: “I see one of your plans has gone to pot.”

Ralph: “Norton, my fists have had your name on them for a long time. You are to blame for this.”

(Ralph & the man get hauled way.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. The audience applauds.)

Jackie: “Ladies and gentlemen. How about our cast? First, Tom Coughlin.”

(The audience cheers as Tom walks on stage and shakes Jackie’s hand.)

Jackie: “Jeremy Shockey.”

(The audience cheers as Jeremy walks on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: “Art Carney.”

(The audience cheers as Art walks on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)

Jackie: “Folks, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Audience cheers.)

(AmericanLife TV):

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

All episodes are one hour long.

First VCR Plus Code is for the first showing. The second is for the second showing.

Fri. Feb. 8 10p & Sat. Feb. 9, 2008 12a #40 – “The Mexican Hat Trick”: Carol Lawrence and the Baja Marimba Band guests as the Honeymooners head for colorful Mexico. Mix-ups include a rendezvous between the alluring El Lobo (Carol) and Ralph; a run-in with the banditos Jenkins (Jesse White) and Pedro (Phil Leeds); and the kidnapping of Alice and Trixie. (VCR Plus Codes: 2040/86682.)

Fri. Feb. 15 10a & Sat. Feb. 16, 2008 12a #41 – “Case of The Cuckoo Thief”: Joining the Honeymooners: Oscar winner George Chakiris ("A Chorus Line"). A Hollywood shopping spree turns chaotic when shoplifter Mousey the Dip (George) uses Alice as his unwitting accomplice. (VCR Plus Codes: 9660/47950.)

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

"Ralph Kramden Inc.":

Ed: "It's not that I don't want to lend you the money. It's what you don't do with it."

Ralph: "What is that?"

Ed: "You don't pay me back."

"Ralph Kramden Inc.":

Ralph: "I can't believe that a man like you watches birds."

Ed: "Why not? They watch me, don't they?"

"Dial J For Janitor":

Ed: "When I was in the Navy, I had a brain tumor. So, I went to the doctor. After I came back, all the boys asked me: 'What did he remove, the tumor or the brain?"

Ralph: "You don't have to ask me. I know what he removed."

"What's The Name" & "What's Her Name":

Ralph: "Everytime there was a love scen in the movie, Ed had to Trixie."

Alice: "That is very romantic."

Ralph: "Romantic huh? I was sitting between them."

"Stand-In For Murder Part One":

Ralph: "Alice, how would you like to me married to a rich, brilliant, highly-respected business man?"

Ed: "I think she rather stay with you Ralph."

"Stand-In For Murder Part 1":

Ralph: "I am just steamed at Alice because she thinks that no one would be stpid enough to offer me a job like that."

Ed: "This guy sounds stupid enough."

"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":

(It's Alice's birthday and Ralph has forgotten it.)

Alice: "Ralph, you do remember what today is?"

Ralph: "Sure, it's my pool night."

Alice's Mom: "See? He's good for nothing."

Ralph: "How do you know? You never saw me shoot pool."

"Without Reservations":

Ralph: "Maybe your sisters have it better than we have. But, I have
more expenses. I got more expenses than all of them put together."

Alice: "Sure Ralph, they don't get suits for their husbands from The
Fat Man's Shop."

"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":

(Barney introduces his gang members to Ralph & Ed.)

Barney Hackett: "These are my boys."

Ralph: "Lovely family."

Credit goes to Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot, honeymooners.net & tvguide.com.