Daughter/Father Relationship - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

80s_Fan · 01-24-2008, 03:38 PM

Has anybody had a problem where they had a good relationship with their father, and then he did something to change that for the worse?

Well, it's happened to me just today; and now I want to go live with my boyfriend, and his father. My relationship with my father will never be the same, and it's partly his fault for getting my oldest brother, and sister involved. I still love them all but, my father should've discussed it with me
without getting them into all of this, and make it a lot worse.

To make a long story short, I have been out of work since mid-october, and everybody including them wants me to get a job right now even if I am not happy, etc.... who cares?? Well, for me I want a job but, I also want to be happy with it so, that I won't quit again like I've done so many times.
Now, I'm more pressured to get one quit. Also, my brother told me not to upset my father anymore but, it's ok if I'm upset; not fair.

It's like everybody is ganging up on me like I'm not already stressed, and frustrated enough. So, I will go to see my boyfriend, and his father tonight to see if I can go live with them along with my cat & hamster. If they don't allow me to bring either both of them and/or either one of them then, I will have no choice but to get rid of them, and that would be a real shame.

Wish me luck, and if I have no choice but, to stay here with my father; all I can say is that it will not be the same anymore, and I will always be tensed up, and stressed, etc...to the point where maybe my health will decline.
So what?? right....who cares if I'm miserable, and stressed, etc...right??
Too bad for me, I should just die right now....problem solved.

Janice · 01-24-2008, 04:00 PM

That's a tough one, and so sad. I know it's hard, but try to give your father a break, even though he's not giving you one now. He should have spoken to you first before you siblings, but people make mistakes. I know your family is hurting due to the loss of your mother, and your father is handling family issues the way he knows how, and he doesn't have a spouse to confer with anymore.

Regarding your job, perhaps temping is the way to go. That way, you can see if you like the job, and if it's a good fit. Just something to consider. Good luck. It's family, you have to forgive them. It's the law, lol. You're right about stress and illness too. I'm living proof of what stress can do to your health. Don't get stressed out over this. Don't even discuss it now, until emotions subside and cooler heads prevail.

catlover79 · 01-24-2008, 05:11 PM

I'm so sorry, sweetie...

Keep us posted.

dawsongirl · 01-25-2008, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 80s_Fan

So what?? right....who cares if I'm miserable, and stressed, etc...right??
Too bad for me, I should just die right now....problem solved.

No no no...don't think that way. I think that way a lot, and it's not good.

There is a solution to everything...you just have to give it time. You'll see it when your head becomes clearer. Right now you're just sad and angry.

Been here many, many times myself. Some days I take up permanent residence.

Give temping a try...can't hurt to look into it.

sunshinefizzy · 01-25-2008, 02:02 PM

That sucks that your father cares about your professional self over your emotional self. Just take it one day at a time, you'll get through it.

Holly · 01-25-2008, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 80s_Fan

Has anybody had a problem where they had a good relationship with their father, and then he did something to change that for the worse?

Well, it's happened to me just today; and now I want to go live with my boyfriend, and his father. My relationship with my father will never be the same, and it's partly his fault for getting my oldest brother, and sister involved. I still love them all but, my father should've discussed it with me
without getting them into all of this, and make it a lot worse.

To make a long story short, I have been out of work since mid-october, and everybody including them wants me to get a job right now even if I am not happy, etc.... who cares?? Well, for me I want a job but, I also want to be happy with it so, that I won't quit again like I've done so many times.
Now, I'm more pressured to get one quit. Also, my brother told me not to upset my father anymore but, it's ok if I'm upset; not fair.

It's like everybody is ganging up on me like I'm not already stressed, and frustrated enough. So, I will go to see my boyfriend, and his father tonight to see if I can go live with them along with my cat & hamster. If they don't allow me to bring either both of them and/or either one of them then, I will have no choice but to get rid of them, and that would be a real shame.

Wish me luck, and if I have no choice but, to stay here with my father; all I can say is that it will not be the same anymore, and I will always be tensed up, and stressed, etc...to the point where maybe my health will decline.
So what?? right....who cares if I'm miserable, and stressed, etc...right??
Too bad for me, I should just die right now....problem solved.

Sorry to hear about that. If you need any advice PM me. and i'll help you out if you like. Good Luck with everything..

80s_Fan · 01-25-2008, 04:03 PM

To all those who posted a response; thanx for your concern and input.
Well, now I have no choice but to take any job real fast even if I'm not happy. I feel like I don't have total control of my life anymore.

I understand that if my father dies tomorrow; what will happen to me?
I can't live here alone and pay any bills without a job. Even if we sell the
house; where will I go then?

I want to work but, not settle for just anything; you know?
I will keep you all posted as it goes on.

Thanks Again!!

Holly · 01-25-2008, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 80s_Fan

To all those who posted a response; thanx for your concern and input.
Well, now I have no choice but to take any job real fast even if I'm not happy. I feel like I don't have total control of my life anymore.

I understand that if my father dies tomorrow; what will happen to me?
I can't live here alone and pay any bills without a job. Even if we sell the
house; where will I go then?

I want to work but, not settle for just anything; you know?
I will keep you all posted as it goes on.

Thanks Again!!

Sound's like you really need a friend right now to help you out.. May i have you're email? and I'll email you , and try to help you out?? Sound's like you're in a real difficult situation. Anyways, my email is Sweetgrlinny518@aol.com email me , today , or tonight and i'll write you back. but either way, I am here for you. if u need advice, or whatever! I am good at that. Email me,and i'll try to help you out. Good luck with everything..

SBTB Geek · 01-25-2008, 05:00 PM

It seems like your dad was giving you tough love and you couldn't take it.

Instead of moving in with your bf and his had, you should stay home get a job and be mature about the situation. You're an adult... I'm sure you could handle a measly/crappy job while you search for what you really want to do. Stop being a leech.

Be strong.

01-24-2008, 03:38 PM	#1
80s_Fan Healthcare_Clerk Senior Member Join Date: May 26, 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 1,697	Daughter/Father Relationship Has anybody had a problem where they had a good relationship with their father, and then he did something to change that for the worse? Well, it's happened to me just today; and now I want to go live with my boyfriend, and his father. My relationship with my father will never be the same, and it's partly his fault for getting my oldest brother, and sister involved. I still love them all but, my father should've discussed it with me without getting them into all of this, and make it a lot worse. To make a long story short, I have been out of work since mid-october, and everybody including them wants me to get a job right now even if I am not happy, etc.... who cares?? Well, for me I want a job but, I also want to be happy with it so, that I won't quit again like I've done so many times. Now, I'm more pressured to get one quit. Also, my brother told me not to upset my father anymore but, it's ok if I'm upset; not fair. It's like everybody is ganging up on me like I'm not already stressed, and frustrated enough. So, I will go to see my boyfriend, and his father tonight to see if I can go live with them along with my cat & hamster. If they don't allow me to bring either both of them and/or either one of them then, I will have no choice but to get rid of them, and that would be a real shame. Wish me luck, and if I have no choice but, to stay here with my father; all I can say is that it will not be the same anymore, and I will always be tensed up, and stressed, etc...to the point where maybe my health will decline. So what?? right....who cares if I'm miserable, and stressed, etc...right?? Too bad for me, I should just die right now....problem solved.

01-24-2008, 05:11 PM	#3
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	I'm so sorry, sweetie... Keep us posted.
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

01-25-2008, 04:03 PM	#7
80s_Fan Healthcare_Clerk Senior Member Join Date: May 26, 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 1,697	Thank You!! To all those who posted a response; thanx for your concern and input. Well, now I have no choice but to take any job real fast even if I'm not happy. I feel like I don't have total control of my life anymore. I understand that if my father dies tomorrow; what will happen to me? I can't live here alone and pay any bills without a job. Even if we sell the house; where will I go then? I want to work but, not settle for just anything; you know? I will keep you all posted as it goes on. Thanks Again!!

01-24-2008, 04:00 PM	#2
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	That's a tough one, and so sad. I know it's hard, but try to give your father a break, even though he's not giving you one now. He should have spoken to you first before you siblings, but people make mistakes. I know your family is hurting due to the loss of your mother, and your father is handling family issues the way he knows how, and he doesn't have a spouse to confer with anymore. Regarding your job, perhaps temping is the way to go. That way, you can see if you like the job, and if it's a good fit. Just something to consider. Good luck. It's family, you have to forgive them. It's the law, lol. You're right about stress and illness too. I'm living proof of what stress can do to your health. Don't get stressed out over this. Don't even discuss it now, until emotions subside and cooler heads prevail.

01-25-2008, 02:02 PM	#5
sunshinefizzy Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 27, 2006 Location: Craptown Posts: 2,054	That sucks that your father cares about your professional self over your emotional self. Just take it one day at a time, you'll get through it.

01-25-2008, 05:00 PM	#9
SBTB Geek Smooth Moderator Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 21, 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,004	It seems like your dad was giving you tough love and you couldn't take it. Instead of moving in with your bf and his had, you should stay home get a job and be mature about the situation. You're an adult... I'm sure you could handle a measly/crappy job while you search for what you really want to do. Stop being a leech. Be strong.