Saturday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 01-12-2008, 10:59 AM

"Two-Family Car":

Ralph: "All right. You will have the car Monday-Friday. I will have the car on the weekends."

Ed: "Wait a minute. I work those days. You take the car five days and let me take the car two days."

Ralph: "Okay, your days are Wednesday and Thursday."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Ralph: "I don't remember the song I used to play on this cornette. I got the music right here."

(Ralph plays the cornette. No sound is heard.)

Alice: "Not so loud Ralph. You will disturb the neighbors."

"Young Man With A Horn":

(Ralph has been playing the cornete badly.)

Ralph: "Norton, would you mind taking these clothes upstairs to put on the clothesline?"

Ed: "Are you going to play the cornette?"

Ralph: "Yes."

Ed (taking the clothes): "I will be very happy too."

"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":

(Ed helps Ralph rehearse. Ralph is in the bedroom waiting to come out so he [Ralph] can say his lines.)

Ed (reading the script): "Hello there!" (not reading): "Testing. Testing 1-2-3-4. Testing. Woof! Woof! Testing."

Ralph (opening the door): "Let's get going."

"Six Months To Live" (Color):

Telegram Man: "I was instructed to give this letter to Mrs. Kramden."

Ralph (taking the letter): "I'm Mister Kramden."

(The telegram man holds out his hand, expecting a tip.)

Ralph: "Your hand is very dirty."

"The Hypnotist Part 1":

Ralph: "Norton, I must be nuts to go out every night when I have a darling wife at home."

Ed: "At least I got a good excuse."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(Trixie & Ed enter into the pool room. Ralph & Alice are already in the pool room. Ralph and Ed are in the middle of a fight.)

Ralph: "I didn't know anything escaped from the zoo today."

Ed: "If it was an elephant, I can tell them where to look."

"The Loudspeaker":

(Ralph slips on the rock candy that Ed put down.)

Ralph (yells): "ROCK CANDY?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE, ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME OR SOMETHING NORTON?"

Ed (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? YOU GOT RID OF THE HIC-
OFFS, DIDN'T YOU?"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

"Follow The Boys":

(Trixie comes down in a Japanese geisha girl costume.)

Trixie: "Come here lover boy (Ed.)"

Ed: "Save me Ralph. I'm a sex symbol."

01-12-2008, 10:59 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,067	Saturday's Quotes: "Two-Family Car": Ralph: "All right. You will have the car Monday-Friday. I will have the car on the weekends." Ed: "Wait a minute. I work those days. You take the car five days and let me take the car two days." Ralph: "Okay, your days are Wednesday and Thursday." "Young Man With A Horn": Ralph: "I don't remember the song I used to play on this cornette. I got the music right here." (Ralph plays the cornette. No sound is heard.) Alice: "Not so loud Ralph. You will disturb the neighbors." "Young Man With A Horn": (Ralph has been playing the cornete badly.) Ralph: "Norton, would you mind taking these clothes upstairs to put on the clothesline?" Ed: "Are you going to play the cornette?" Ralph: "Yes." Ed (taking the clothes): "I will be very happy too." "Ralph's Sweet Tooth": (Ed helps Ralph rehearse. Ralph is in the bedroom waiting to come out so he [Ralph] can say his lines.) Ed (reading the script): "Hello there!" (not reading): "Testing. Testing 1-2-3-4. Testing. Woof! Woof! Testing." Ralph (opening the door): "Let's get going." "Six Months To Live" (Color): Telegram Man: "I was instructed to give this letter to Mrs. Kramden." Ralph (taking the letter): "I'm Mister Kramden." (The telegram man holds out his hand, expecting a tip.) Ralph: "Your hand is very dirty." "The Hypnotist Part 1": Ralph: "Norton, I must be nuts to go out every night when I have a darling wife at home." Ed: "At least I got a good excuse." "Movies Are Better Than Ever": (Trixie & Ed enter into the pool room. Ralph & Alice are already in the pool room. Ralph and Ed are in the middle of a fight.) Ralph: "I didn't know anything escaped from the zoo today." Ed: "If it was an elephant, I can tell them where to look." "The Loudspeaker": (Ralph slips on the rock candy that Ed put down.) Ralph (yells): "ROCK CANDY?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE, ROCKS IN YOUR HEAD? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME OR SOMETHING NORTON?" Ed (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT ME FOR? YOU GOT RID OF THE HIC- OFFS, DIDN'T YOU?" Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!" "Follow The Boys": (Trixie comes down in a Japanese geisha girl costume.) Trixie: "Come here lover boy (Ed.)" Ed: "Save me Ralph. I'm a sex symbol."