Man Accused Of Accidentally Stabbing Himself While Shoplifting Hunting Knives - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TripperFan · 01-09-2008, 12:47 PM

Wednesday January 9, 2008
CityNews.ca Staff

Cops accuse a thief of not being the sharpest tool in the shed. In fact, they say his alleged loot was razor sharp - but he wasn't.

Police in Grand Rapids, Michigan (top left) say a man went into a superstore on Monday night and stole about $300 worth of hunting knives, which he allegedly secreted in the waistband of his pants. But this klutzy would-be robber didn't exactly make the perfect getaway.

He was confronted by suspicious store personnel and then tripped and fell while attempting to flee. You can guess what happened next. The suspect wound up stabbing himself in the stomach.

"I saw a man laying down on the mat by the carts, a knife by him with blood on the full blade of the knife," shopper Heather Dodd told a local TV station. "It was not a dull kitchen knife or a sharp butcher's knife, it was somewhere in between.

"Someone was holding him down so I just walked around him, grabbed my cart, made sure everything was OK and got out of the way."

The suspect, who has a record of similar crimes, suffered wounds that aren't life threatening. He remains in hospital, facing a misdemeanour shoplifting charge.

There's no word on when he may be cut loose.

catlover79 · 01-09-2008, 01:02 PM

What a MORON!! Serves him right.

sara · 01-09-2008, 02:59 PM

Karma's a bitch

I read about this in the Grand Rapids Press yesterday, and I was telling everyone at work. I thought it was so funny.

Chocoholic · 01-09-2008, 04:43 PM

Wasn't there a guy once who neutered himself trying to steal lobsters by shoving them down his pants?

Funny story!

01-09-2008, 12:47 PM	#1
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	Man Accused Of Accidentally Stabbing Himself While Shoplifting Hunting Knives Wednesday January 9, 2008 CityNews.ca Staff Cops accuse a thief of not being the sharpest tool in the shed. In fact, they say his alleged loot was razor sharp - but he wasn't. Police in Grand Rapids, Michigan (top left) say a man went into a superstore on Monday night and stole about $300 worth of hunting knives, which he allegedly secreted in the waistband of his pants. But this klutzy would-be robber didn't exactly make the perfect getaway. He was confronted by suspicious store personnel and then tripped and fell while attempting to flee. You can guess what happened next. The suspect wound up stabbing himself in the stomach. "I saw a man laying down on the mat by the carts, a knife by him with blood on the full blade of the knife," shopper Heather Dodd told a local TV station. "It was not a dull kitchen knife or a sharp butcher's knife, it was somewhere in between. "Someone was holding him down so I just walked around him, grabbed my cart, made sure everything was OK and got out of the way." The suspect, who has a record of similar crimes, suffered wounds that aren't life threatening. He remains in hospital, facing a misdemeanour shoplifting charge. There's no word on when he may be cut loose.
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

01-09-2008, 01:02 PM	#2
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	What a MORON!! Serves him right.
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

01-09-2008, 02:59 PM	#3
sara Member Senior Member Join Date: May 21, 2002 Location: grandville michigan Posts: 2,296	Karma's a bitch I read about this in the Grand Rapids Press yesterday, and I was telling everyone at work. I thought it was so funny.
	__________________ Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy!

01-09-2008, 04:43 PM	#4
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	Wasn't there a guy once who neutered himself trying to steal lobsters by shoving them down his pants? Funny story!