Tuesday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (1/11-1/18):

[Frank Gannucci]

(AmericanLife TV):

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

(The first VCR Plus Code is for the first showing. The second one is for the second showing.)

Fri. Jan. 11 10p & Sat. Jan. 12, 2008 12a #29 – “Boy Next Door”: Alice, planning a surprise birthday party for Ralph, borrows a cookbook recipe from Trixie. Ralph, discovering the cookbook, finds in it an old love letter written by Ed. He concludes that Ed and Alice are lovers and takes the appropriate actions: following them and telling Trixie. But Trixie just laughs at Ralph, and then she tells him the truth. (VCR Plus Codes: 6343/13527.)

Fri. Jan. 18 10p & Sat. Jan. 19, 2008 12a #30 – “Follow The Boys”: When the wives complain that their husbands don't fuss over them anymore, Ralph and Ed come up with a compromise: one night a week will be "boys' night out," the other nights they will spend with Alice and Trixie. But this is just another scheme that backfires on Ralph, who is planning to wear out the wives on the first night, but overcomes himself with exhaustion instead. (VCR Plus Codes: 5708/62050.)

(AmeircanLife TV also has an OnDemand Service. This show may be one of the shows that are available.)

"The Babysitter":

Ralph: "The bills will get bigger and bigger and I will get less to eat. I will start losing weight. Then do you know what I will look like?"

Alice: "Yeah, a human being."

"Move Uptown":

Ralph: "Where is Ed? We have to load the trailer."

Alice: "I don't know."

(Crash! Clatter! Bing! Bang! Boom! Ed comes out with pots and pans on him.)

Ralph: "What are you making all that noise for?"

Ed: "Shh."

Ralph: "Don't 'shh' me."

Trixie: "Did you hurt yourself?"

Ed: "No, luckily the pots and pans broke my fall."

"Principle of The Thing":

Ralph (yells): "NOW THERE IS WATER COMING OUT OF THE WALL."

Ed: "What are you yelling at me for? Your troubles are over."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

Ed: "Disconnect the sink and attach it in the middle of the wall."

"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":

Dr. Durgom: "I know why you are afraid Mr. Kramden. It is ignorance."

Ed: "That is okay. He is as ignorant as anybody."

"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":

(Ralph gets introduced to Happy the puppy dog who is big and around Ralph, he gets vicious.)

Alice: "That's Happy."

Ralph: "He doesn't look happy to me."

"Be It Ever So Humble":

Ed: "How long is the lease for?"

Ralph: "The usual."

Ed: "What is the usual?"

Ralph: "99 years."

"The Loudspeaker":

Ed: "You got a call from the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler, the emperor of all Raccoondoom? I don't believe it."

Ralph: "Sure you don't because you never got a call from him."

Ed: "He doesn't have to call me. He works right beside me in the sewer."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ralph and Ed rehearse their mind-reading act in which Ralph will hold up an object while Ed tries to guess it with the help of Ralph's clue while he can't see. Ed's eyes are closed while Ralph holds up a watch.)

Ralph: "Watch out for this, o' swami."

Ed: "What's the clue?"