Episode Reviews: "Mama Loves Mambo" & "Please Leave The Premises":

[Frank Gannucci]

Episode Reviews: "Mama Loves Mambo" & "Please Leave The Premises":

Episode #113
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "The Babysitter."
DVD: Attached to episodes #17 - #24 OF THE CLASSIC 39.

Ralph overhears that a new neighbor has moved into the building. He has gray hair and is unmarried. Alice asks Ralph to deliver him some of the food that she made for him. Alice goes up with a basket to get the laundry. Ralph agrees and when Norton comes down, he hears about the unmarried old man that moved in next door. Ralph: "We should go over to his place and play games with him." Suddenly, the unmarried old man comes in and he doesn't look like he's as old as Ralph and Ed thought. The studio audience applauds because the actor that played him is named Charles Korvin. He says that is the guy who moved in next door. Ed: "He looks pretty well-preserved." His name is Carlos Sanchez and he needs to borrow a hammer. He also has a Latin accent. Carlos talks about how he met their wives. Carlos: "You must be Trixie's husband." Ed: "Yeah, I am and you better get to know her and me pretty good because we might be moving tomorrow." Carlos: "Trixie never said." Ed: "She doesn’t know it yet." The boys are acting jealous. Ralph and Ed discuss their jobs and the fact they work during the day. Carlos: "I'm a dancer. I work nights. So, I will be here all day." D'oh! Not something they wanted to hear. Alice asks Ralph to open the door. She's back with the laundry. Carlos offers to help Alice with the load. Alice: "Thank you Mr. Sanchez. I wish that there were more gentlemen around here (referring to Ralph & Ed.)" Ralph: "Wait a minute. How many times have I asked you not to take down a laundry basket that full? Next time, make two trips." Gee, that helps...NOT! If I had to get the laundry, I would try to take it all in one trip. Carlos asks Alice to start calling him Carlos. Ralph gives Carlos the hammer. Ralph: "If you don't mind, hasta-la-vista!" Carlos leaves. Alice: "Carlos is such a gentlemen." Ralph and Ed are mad. Ed says he will give Carlos Trixie's potato salad. Ed: "Before I had Trixie's cooking, I was a regular Clark Gable. So, this will fix his wagon." Gee, in "Peacemaker", Ed says that he loves Trixie's cooking. Ed: "Listen Ralph, as long as were neighbors, you don't have to call me Norton. Call me Edwardo." Ralph kicks him out. I can just picture Ralph yelling out the window: "EDWARDO! EDWARDO!"

The next day, while Ralph is at work, Carlos is busy teaching all the girls how to do the mambo. The record player is playing the record. I like the girls dancing. Mrs. Manicotti: "Carlos, do I have the hip movement?" She wiggles her hips. Carlos: "You do Mrs. Manicotti." Carlos puts on another record. They dance again. Ralph comes home, acknowledges everyone and then notices that Carlos is teaching them how to dance. Ralph (yells): "HOLD IT! WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!" Ralph stops the record. Ralph: "Ooooooooooh Carlos was teaching you how to do the mambo. That puts a different light on things. For a minute there, I didn't know what you were doing. Now, I know that you girls were doing the mambo that makes a world of difference...." (yells): "EVERYBODY OUT!" Yeah, Ralph didn't embarrass anybody AT ALL. Mrs. Manicotti: "But Mr. Kramden, its fun." Ralph: "And you, at your age, should be ashamed of yourself." Alice calls it a day. Ralph (to Carlos): "As for you Rudy Valentino, out!" Alice is upset at Ralph. Ralph: "I come home after a hard day's work and you going like this." (Ralph wiggles his hips. Girls in the audience scream.) Ralph: "You want to wiggle? Wiggle over to the stove and get my supper." Ed comes down all steamed at Carlos too. Ralph & Alice continue their fight. Ralph says that Carlos is a troublemaker. Wow, he thinks that Carlos is a troublemaker? Alice: "Carlos teaches us like women. You have seem to forgotten that I'm a woman." Ralph: "How could I? You're always yappin'." Alice: "You wouldn't even think of tipping your hat." Ralph does that and orders Alice to make him dinner. Alice goes into the bedroom. Mr. Manicotti walks in. It's revealed that his first name is Bill. Bill: "That wife is driving me crazy. All she thinks about is mambo." He says that when she dances the mambo, she knocks off all the dishes on the table because of her size. Carlos walks in to take back his record player. Ralph and Ed voice their frustrations. Ralph: "You must have some nerve." The boys say that with Carlos's behavior, their lives are more miserable. Carlos says he will not be a pain anymore and asks if the girls want them to do simple gentlemanly things, why do they not do it. Ralph: "Because it's too much trouble." Carlos says that he thinks all wives are worth going through trouble for and if he was married, he will do gentlemanly things for her." Ralph feels remorseful. Ralph says that him, Ed & Bill have been taking their wives for granted and says that maybe we should talk to more unmarried people. Ralph: "Carlos, one thing. Could you teach me to mambo?" Carlos obliges and asks everybody to follow his lead. Ralph does, but then makes up several dance moves on the fly, thus making for one funny scene. One of my favorite scenes in this episode. This scene would be repeated on CNN'S Larry King Live special about The Honeymooners in 2002.

Sunday morning, Ralph is acting all gentlemanly, much to Alice's chagrin. Ralph: "We don't have to be at church until 11." He insists that Alice stay in bed and he will make her breakfast in bed, but he keeps asking Alice where some things to make the breakfast are. Alice ends up walking back and forth several times. Couldn't she just yell at him where they were? Alice says that she wants to have breakfast out in the kitchen. Ralph says that he will make the beds but asks where the sheets are. Alice shows him where they are. Trixie comes down all upset that Ed has been acting gentlemanly. Ed comes down all upset that he couldn't open the door for her, so they do it again. Alice greets them. Ed: "Mambo anymone?" Ed joins Ralph in the bedroom to join him in the manly errand of making the beds. He dances his way to the bedroom. The girls admitted that they asked for them to be gentlemen, and they boys are doing it. Trixie says that at 3am, Ed wanted to get something to drink, so he woke her up, just so he can tip his hat before he left the room. Sounds like he's trying too hard. The guys come out and Ralph serves the girls his sorry excuse for oatmeal. Gee, I wonder if Quaker Oats heard of this part of the episode. Ed admits that the oatmeal is awful looking and the girls agree. The girls ask for the boys to go back to the way they were and that they were the ones who were in the wrong. Alice: "I found out that I've been a pretty lucky girl. I married a man who's crazy about me." The boys go back to the way they were much to the girls delight. Ralph even says (yells): "LISTEN TO THIS! GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD ALICE. I'M THE KING HERE. REMEMBER THAT! THIS HOUSE IS MY CASTLE. I'M THE KING. REMEMBER THAT! KING! KING! KING! YOU ARE NOTHING, A PHEASANT. THIS IS MY HOUSE. MY CASTLE. I'M THE KING." Alice laughs and Ralph is happy.

Episode #114
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "The Safety Award."
DVD: Attached to episodes #17 - #24 of the classic 39.

Ralph is visiting the doctor. He's been flying off the hook over the slightest things. Alice explains that to Ed which Ed replies that Ralph has never been 100% in the laugh department. Ralph comes home. He is all happy. He says that from no on, he will not fly off the handle over the simple little things anymore. He read a poem which he claims will calm him down. The poem: "Pins and needles. Needles and pins. It's a happy man that grins." Ralph has been aggravated several times on the way home, but instead of getting angry, he said the poem. He goes into the bedroom. Mr. Johnson comes in with a notice saying that he will raise the rent by $5. His reason for the increase is in the note. Ed: "I knew this would happen as soon as the war ended." Ralph comes out and gets the notice. He goes back into the bedroom, while Ed says to Mr. Johnson that in a few seconds, Ralph will come out at ease about the rent increase. Ralph storms out and he's anything but happy about the increase. Ralph (yells): "YOU (Mr. Johnson) ARE NOT GETTING ONE MORE DIME FROM ME." Ralph is flying over the handle over a simple $5 rent increase. Ed: "Pins and needles. Needles and pins..." Ralph (yells to Ed): "SHUT UP!" Ralph argues some more with Mr. Johnson. They banter back and forth about the rent increase. Alice says that the rent increase is only $5. Ralph views that as a big thing. Ralph says that Mr. Johnson is bluffing that if Ralph doesn't pay the increase him and Alice will be kicked out and if they barricade themselves in, they will have no heat, gas, water & electricity. Mr. Johnson says that he will and leaves. Ralph (in his mind) is now at war with the janitor and being "nice", he drags the Nortons into it too. Alice: "It's crazy Ralph." Both Alice and Ed recite Ralph's poem so they will calm down.

In the next scene, the front door is barricaded and Ralph and Alice are walking around with winter coats on, now they have no water, heat, gas and electricity. When CBS FOX Video released this on VHS, they say the Kramdens have no heat or water. It says nothing about the fact they have no gas or electricity which is fine because it makes this episode much more of a surprise to the viewer who hasn't seen or heard anything about this episode other than by reading CBS FOX Video's description of it. Also for the first few seconds in this scene, there's a loud whistling noise that can be heard. Well, anyway the Kramdens are walking around. Ralph sits down. Alice: "Come on Ralph. Let's keep going. We'll make it easy for the men in the white coats to catch us." Ralph reminds Alice that this is war, WAR and it's going to be run like a war and he's the general and she's the private. Ralph: "You're a private. You got nothing to say." Gee, Ralph is making a big fuss about a $5 rent increase. With the rent increases of apartments today, I wonder what it would be like if the Kramdens lived in a more modern apartment and the rent increase would be bigger. Anyway, the Kramdens argue. Ralph wonders why Alice doesn’t get behind him since all the great men in history have had a woman behind them. Alice said that she would if there was more room for her to stand. A fat joke. Ralph says that he is fighting because in a few years, the rent will go up another $5 and in 20 years time, the rent will go up again by another $5. Alice: "Now I understand Ralph. I didn't know you wanted to live here for 20 years. Now I am in favor of not giving up. I rather freeze to death right now." A knock on the door is heard and Ralph thinks that it's Mr. Johnson. It's Norton. Ralph: "What is that idiot doing out of his apartment?" Alice: "What is this idiot (her or him) doing in this apartment?" Ralph removes the barricade and opens the door to let Norton in. Ed comes in with a BIG overcoat on along with a hat, and some goggles. He looks so ridiculous that the crowd laughs. Ed comes down to explain that the landlord and the sheriff were in his apartment (which also has no heat, water, gas or electricity thanks to Ralph because he dragged them in this fight) and they gave him a notice saying they will be kicked out if they don't pay the increase. Ed: "I guess that he (Mr. Johnson) is not bluffing." Ed says that he doesn't mind being deprived of no neat, gas, electricity, no good food and water but being locked up with Trixie for three days is more than he can stand. Ralph isn't giving up. Ed tries to get out, saying that since he paid the increase, he and Trixie are going out to get some steak. Ralph, being "nice", says that Ed is not going anywhere. According to Ralph, he's fighting for the Kramdens and Nortons. Ed tires to leave again, but to no avail. Mr. Johnson knocks on the door. He has the sheriff with him and orders Ralph to open up. Ralph doesn't listen. Mr. Johnson says to them to stay in there and that the sheriff is dispatching one of his men outside in the hallway and the minute Ralph opens the door, he will get slapped with an eviction notice. Mr. Johnson (yells): "...AND DON'T TRY TO USE THE FIRE ESCAPE. THE SHERRIFF WILL HAVE A MAN OUT THERE TOO." Ralph is scared now, but he denies it and says that the landlord is scared. Since Ed hasn't had a decent meal in three days, he wants some food, so Alice makes some supper for them. The supper: Celery sticks. Alice: "The supply boats couldn't make it through the blockade." Ralph isn't amused. Now he has an idea. He will take some sheets, tie them together to make a rope, drop the rope down the bedroom window, climb down the rope, go into a restaurant, buy some food and take the food back into the apartment. Alice: "Ralph, that sounds very dangerous." Question: How is Ralph going to carry the food and climb the "rope" at the same time? Ralph ties the sheets. Alice complains of being freezing, so Ed offers her his coat because he's suffocating. He takes off his coats, to reveal the fact that he has several hot water bottles attached to him. Ralph has just finished making his rope and asks Ed to carry out the task. Ed says no because he's scared of heights. Ralph: "All right yellowbelly, I'll go." He ties the rope to the kitchen table and attempts to climb down only to fall down and somewhat take the kitchen table with him. Ed sees where Ralph fell and notices another one of the sheriff’s men. D'oh!

Ralph and Alice have been kicked out. Their furniture is all outside. I guess we are supposed to believe that Ralph weathered his fall to the ground and suffered NO INJURIES whatsoever. Ralph still won't quit but after it starts to snow and hearing that Alice is going to her mother's, he finally quits because of this. Ralph: "You know that I know how easy, you get virus." He says something like that. Alice isn't pleased about that statement as Ralph walks back into the building to get their apartment back. The camera zooms in on Alice as she says: "Pins and needles. Needles and pins. A happy woman is a woman who grins." She grins.

Credit for all my reviews goes to Yahoo! Groups You’re A Riot!