Is your partner okay with your online friendships.... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Janice · 12-08-2007, 08:46 PM

....with people of the opposite sex (or whatever)?

I have a few online friendships, with both men and women. My closest friendships are with men. My husband is 100% okay with this. We have a lot of trust in our marriage, which makes me wonder why I wouldn't like (allow?) him to do the same. He has no interest, so it's not an issue.

My husband asks me questions about my male friends, but out of concern. An example was last year, when Brian's daughter was ill, my husband was always asking me how she was doing. Every Saturday or Sunday, my husband dictates an e:mail to me with his prediction about the Cowboys game that week, and asks me to send it to Sonny. My husband goes to the Post Office to mail things out to my male friends. Are all guys that easy-going about this? I honestly don't know.

I can imagine only imagine if it was the other way around.

I know it's a double-standard, but I can't help it. I am who I am. How about you and your other half?

Mikado · 12-08-2007, 10:02 PM

My GF is also an online thing #@_@# and frankly, shes pretty jealous of any other women i know online! (So I rarely chat with anyone else on MSN

)

Janice · 12-08-2007, 10:24 PM

I knew a girl who was in an online relationship with a guy. They started talking on the phone, sending each other gifts, etc. He lived in France, while she lived in Michigan. They had agreed to not date other people, despite having never met one another. He was making plans to fly here to meet her.

About six months into it -- but before they met, I forget why, but she became suspicious. She went under another screen name, and sent him an IM. He was flirting like crazy with her. They exchanged pictures. She got a fake picture somewhere. She broke up with the Frenchman. The whole thing seemed weird to me.

Corolla · 12-08-2007, 10:54 PM

I don't really have any opposite sex relationships online.

bingbangbaby · 12-08-2007, 11:37 PM

No partner. Nope. No husband. Nope. Not even a boyfriend right now. But I'll tell you what I think anyway

I think your relationship is great. I would want a guy to be okay with any online friendships I had because that's all they are-- friendships-- that aren't even face to face. I wouldn't want to be married to anyone who couldn't trust me to have online friendships with people of the opposite sex, and I would want to trust my partner the same way. It would have to be within reason though. No online chit-chatting for hours or late into the night, things like that. Now, personal face-to-face friendships...that's something else. Single friends would have to be a mutual friend we only see together at the same time or it's not a friend.

Mikado · 12-08-2007, 11:48 PM

You sound like a great gal Bing Bang....

Anyway, one should be careful about letting your partner have totally free online relationships, many a marriage has been broken over these things.....Ive known several from back in my MSN chatroom mod days! (It was like being a bartender, the roomieswould tell me all their secrets... i knew everyone who was cheating, online AND off!

[Whether i wanted to, or not!])

Ireneparalegal · 12-08-2007, 11:52 PM

He doesn't ask me. He only knows of this place called "the board."

He will sometimes say, "How's the board today?" or "Who's making you laugh?" but he doesn't ask and I don't tell.

Mikado · 12-09-2007, 12:03 AM

You and the US armed forces, Irene

Ireneparalegal · 12-09-2007, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikado

You and the US armed forces, Irene

BINGO!

Brian Damage · 12-09-2007, 12:39 AM

My wife knows about this place and knows all about Janice. There are no secrets there. LOL She always asks how is she doing and what not. She has no problem with SO.

As for me, if it was the other way around, I wouldn't want my wife chatting with guys online.

Janice · 12-09-2007, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

My wife knows about this place and knows all about Janice. There are no secrets there. LOL She always asks how is she doing and what not. She has no problem with SO.

As for me, if it was the other way around, I wouldn't want my wife chatting with guys online.

Can you believe our double standards?

Lou just doesn't care. He knows that any hanky panky is the LAST thing on my mind. Sometimes, if it's late, and you and I are cracking jokes, he yells from the bedroom to tell me to quiet down, like I'm a liittle kid.

Ireneparalegal · 12-09-2007, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

Can you believe our double standards?

Lou just doesn't care. He knows that any hanky panky is the LAST thing on my mind. Sometimes, if it's late, and you and I are cracking jokes, he yells from the bedroom to tell me to quiet down, like I'm a liittle kid.

You've mentioned that part before abt how Lou yells at you to quiet down. I have this image in my head.

When I used to be up late on the computer chatting away, having a good ol' belly laugh, I would try so hard to keep my laughter in and it hurt so bad to just not let it out.

I didn't want to wake up anyone.

Nighthawk76 · 12-09-2007, 01:13 AM

I'm not married, so it's not even an issue with me.

dawsongirl · 12-09-2007, 01:17 AM

My boyfriend and I know the same people online. So it would be weird if he were jealous or upset or whatever. He'd more likely laugh.

AB · 12-09-2007, 12:46 PM

Hubby doesn't mind, sometimes he'll hear me in here laughing over a funny post and ask me what's so funny. Every once in a while, he'll read a few of the posts but he's just not that into it. He's read some my pm's too and just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

12-08-2007, 08:46 PM	#1
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Is your partner okay with your online friendships.... ....with people of the opposite sex (or whatever)? I have a few online friendships, with both men and women. My closest friendships are with men. My husband is 100% okay with this. We have a lot of trust in our marriage, which makes me wonder why I wouldn't like (allow?) him to do the same. He has no interest, so it's not an issue. My husband asks me questions about my male friends, but out of concern. An example was last year, when Brian's daughter was ill, my husband was always asking me how she was doing. Every Saturday or Sunday, my husband dictates an e:mail to me with his prediction about the Cowboys game that week, and asks me to send it to Sonny. My husband goes to the Post Office to mail things out to my male friends. Are all guys that easy-going about this? I honestly don't know. I can imagine only imagine if it was the other way around. I know it's a double-standard, but I can't help it. I am who I am. How about you and your other half?

12-08-2007, 11:52 PM	#7
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	He doesn't ask me. He only knows of this place called "the board." He will sometimes say, "How's the board today?" or "Who's making you laugh?" but he doesn't ask and I don't tell.
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

12-09-2007, 12:39 AM	#10
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	My wife knows about this place and knows all about Janice. There are no secrets there. LOL She always asks how is she doing and what not. She has no problem with SO. As for me, if it was the other way around, I wouldn't want my wife chatting with guys online.
	__________________ The Key to the Kingdom of Heaven: John 3:3 *Money Doesn't Buy Happiness...But I'd Rather Cry in My Private Jet*

12-08-2007, 10:02 PM	#2
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	My GF is also an online thing #@_@# and frankly, shes pretty jealous of any other women i know online! (So I rarely chat with anyone else on MSN )

12-08-2007, 10:24 PM	#3
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I knew a girl who was in an online relationship with a guy. They started talking on the phone, sending each other gifts, etc. He lived in France, while she lived in Michigan. They had agreed to not date other people, despite having never met one another. He was making plans to fly here to meet her. About six months into it -- but before they met, I forget why, but she became suspicious. She went under another screen name, and sent him an IM. He was flirting like crazy with her. They exchanged pictures. She got a fake picture somewhere. She broke up with the Frenchman. The whole thing seemed weird to me.

12-08-2007, 10:54 PM	#4
Corolla Member Senior Member Join Date: Dec 21, 2006 Location: Owen Sound, ON Posts: 2,376	I don't really have any opposite sex relationships online.

12-08-2007, 11:37 PM	#5
bingbangbaby I see you!! Senior Member Join Date: Jul 15, 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,070	No partner. Nope. No husband. Nope. Not even a boyfriend right now. But I'll tell you what I think anyway I think your relationship is great. I would want a guy to be okay with any online friendships I had because that's all they are-- friendships-- that aren't even face to face. I wouldn't want to be married to anyone who couldn't trust me to have online friendships with people of the opposite sex, and I would want to trust my partner the same way. It would have to be within reason though. No online chit-chatting for hours or late into the night, things like that. Now, personal face-to-face friendships...that's something else. Single friends would have to be a mutual friend we only see together at the same time or it's not a friend.

12-08-2007, 11:48 PM	#6
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	You sound like a great gal Bing Bang.... Anyway, one should be careful about letting your partner have totally free online relationships, many a marriage has been broken over these things.....Ive known several from back in my MSN chatroom mod days! (It was like being a bartender, the roomieswould tell me all their secrets... i knew everyone who was cheating, online AND off! [Whether i wanted to, or not!])

12-09-2007, 12:03 AM	#8
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	You and the US armed forces, Irene

12-09-2007, 01:13 AM	#13
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	I'm not married, so it's not even an issue with me.

12-09-2007, 01:17 AM	#14
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	My boyfriend and I know the same people online. So it would be weird if he were jealous or upset or whatever. He'd more likely laugh.

12-09-2007, 12:46 PM	#15
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	Hubby doesn't mind, sometimes he'll hear me in here laughing over a funny post and ask me what's so funny. Every once in a while, he'll read a few of the posts but he's just not that into it. He's read some my pm's too and just shakes his head and rolls his eyes.