Art Linkletter's KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS

[tv star collector]

This book was first published in 1957, and these gems--from Art Linkletter's
interviews of children on his HOUSE PARTY television series--are still funny ...

"What does your mom do?"
"She's a Sunday School teacher."
"What does she do for fun?"
"She plays poker and drinks beer."

"Who talks longest on the phone in your family?'
"My sister."
"What does she talk about?"
"Mainly who she's going to beat up next, and I'm high on the list."

"What does your mother do?"
"She's a kind of a housewife."
"What kind?"
"The lazy kind."

"Does your mother work for a living?"
"No. She's a private secretary."
"Well, that sounds as if she works for a living. Isn't that some kind of a job?"
"All I know is that she works for a slave driver down in the Fisher Building."

"My father's a school teacher."
"That's a fine profession. Does he like it?"
"He only has one thing to complain about."
"What's that?"
"The kids."

"My dad's a professor of English at a college."
"What does he think of the students?"
"Well, he tells me the best student in his class is a beautiful blonde girl with
blue eyes and a tight sweater."

"Is this your favorite dress?"
"No, it's an old one."
"Then why did you wear it?"
"Because my mother didn't want me to wear any of my nice new dresses to
your old program and get them dirty."