MASH (from anywhere in the first 3 seasons) - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

treky · 11-16-2007, 03:53 AM

Trapper was sitting on his bunk in "the swamp", holding a martini glass. Hawkeye was laying on his bunk; sound asleep. Radar walked up to the door and knocked "Trapper"? He answered "C'mon in Radar". He walked in and Trapper said "What is it? More casulties"? "No, nothing like that". "What then? And keep in mind that we can't perform miracles with height". "CUT THAT OUT"! "I'm sorry, it's just been a long day". "Well; I'm sorry to tell you this; but Col. Blake wants all the senior officers in his office right away. Better wake Hawkeye". "Tell Henry we can't make it. We just came off 24 straight hours of surgerey". "I know, and he says he's sorry; but this is an emergency. A big one". Trapper sighed and very reluctently said "Well, ok". He walked over to Hawkeye, put his hand on his shoulder, shook it and said "Hawk? C'mon, wake up". Hawkeye moaned, opened his eyes and said "Trapper"? "Yep". "Korea"? "Yep". "The war still"? "Afraid so". He moaned again.
Radar said "Big meeting in Col. Blakes office, Hawk". He walked out Hawkeye sat up, as Trapper handed him a martini glass.

Hawkeye and Trapper walked into Henrys office, Hawkeye in his red bathrobe. Frank and Hot Lips were there, standing at attention. Hot Lips said "Disgraceful, showing up in your commanding officers office dressed like that"! Frank said "And as usual; you're not even shaved"! Hawkeye sat down under the window, and Trapper headed straight to Henrys licouer cabinet. Hawkeye looked at Frank and said "I thought I'd try going without it for a few days. Maybe start a new fad". Henry said "Pierce; will you please can the smart remarks for once"? Trapper crossed over to the desk; holding two bottles and 3 glasses. He opened a bottle, poured a glass and handed it to Hawkeye. Hawkeye took it, took a sip and said "OK Henry; what's this all about"? Henry took his drink from Trapper and said "I just got off the phone with Gen. Hammond. An aid station nearby has been hit by the north koreans-hard. He wants me to send one surgeon and a nurse. Any vollunteers"?
The room grew quiet. Henry called "RADAR"? Radar walked in with some papers, saying "Here's the casultey figures". as Henry was saying "Get me those casultey figures". He took the paper from him "Thank you".

to be continued....

treky · 11-17-2007, 05:01 AM

Henry looked at the papers, then looked up and said "Well? Or do I have to pick two"? Noone said a word still, so he sighed and said "Well Pierce, you're staying put, since you're the chief surgeon and I can't risk losing you. So that leaves McIntyre and Burns". Then Trapper spoke up. "You don't have to pick one of us, Henry. I'll go". Henry said "Fine. Now, Major" (he looked at Hot Lips) "which one of your nurses do you think is the most qualified to go"?

11-16-2007, 03:53 AM	#1
treky star trek fan Eternal Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania Posts: 14,490	MASH (from anywhere in the first 3 seasons) Trapper was sitting on his bunk in "the swamp", holding a martini glass. Hawkeye was laying on his bunk; sound asleep. Radar walked up to the door and knocked "Trapper"? He answered "C'mon in Radar". He walked in and Trapper said "What is it? More casulties"? "No, nothing like that". "What then? And keep in mind that we can't perform miracles with height". "CUT THAT OUT"! "I'm sorry, it's just been a long day". "Well; I'm sorry to tell you this; but Col. Blake wants all the senior officers in his office right away. Better wake Hawkeye". "Tell Henry we can't make it. We just came off 24 straight hours of surgerey". "I know, and he says he's sorry; but this is an emergency. A big one". Trapper sighed and very reluctently said "Well, ok". He walked over to Hawkeye, put his hand on his shoulder, shook it and said "Hawk? C'mon, wake up". Hawkeye moaned, opened his eyes and said "Trapper"? "Yep". "Korea"? "Yep". "The war still"? "Afraid so". He moaned again. Radar said "Big meeting in Col. Blakes office, Hawk". He walked out Hawkeye sat up, as Trapper handed him a martini glass. Hawkeye and Trapper walked into Henrys office, Hawkeye in his red bathrobe. Frank and Hot Lips were there, standing at attention. Hot Lips said "Disgraceful, showing up in your commanding officers office dressed like that"! Frank said "And as usual; you're not even shaved"! Hawkeye sat down under the window, and Trapper headed straight to Henrys licouer cabinet. Hawkeye looked at Frank and said "I thought I'd try going without it for a few days. Maybe start a new fad". Henry said "Pierce; will you please can the smart remarks for once"? Trapper crossed over to the desk; holding two bottles and 3 glasses. He opened a bottle, poured a glass and handed it to Hawkeye. Hawkeye took it, took a sip and said "OK Henry; what's this all about"? Henry took his drink from Trapper and said "I just got off the phone with Gen. Hammond. An aid station nearby has been hit by the north koreans-hard. He wants me to send one surgeon and a nurse. Any vollunteers"? The room grew quiet. Henry called "RADAR"? Radar walked in with some papers, saying "Here's the casultey figures". as Henry was saying "Get me those casultey figures". He took the paper from him "Thank you". to be continued....
	__________________ the Clampetts are in a fancy Beverly Hills jewelry store. Granny points to a tray of rubies. Granny: "How much fer one o' them red diamonds?" clerk: "Madam, those are rubies." Granny: "OK ask her kin we buy one offa her." clerk: " The ruby I am talking about is not a lady." Granny: "Lissen, how she got them diamonds is her business. I'm just sayin' ask her kin we buy one from her." Last edited by treky; 11-17-2007 at 04:52 AM.

11-17-2007, 05:01 AM	#2
treky star trek fan Eternal Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 25, 2002 Location: Conshohocken, pennsylvania Posts: 14,490	Henry looked at the papers, then looked up and said "Well? Or do I have to pick two"? Noone said a word still, so he sighed and said "Well Pierce, you're staying put, since you're the chief surgeon and I can't risk losing you. So that leaves McIntyre and Burns". Then Trapper spoke up. "You don't have to pick one of us, Henry. I'll go". Henry said "Fine. Now, Major" (he looked at Hot Lips) "which one of your nurses do you think is the most qualified to go"?