Episode Reviews: "Brother Ralph" & "Hello Mom":

[Frank Gannucci]

Episode #99
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "The Golfer."
DVD: Attached to episodes #9-16 of the classic 39.
Ed visits Alice and they talk about the suggestion that Ralph made down at the bus depot. Ralph suggested that they bring in a traffic expert to solve the bus problems on Madison Avenue. Of course to do that, the depot will have to lay off some drivers. Ralph comes home and Ed says: "Hey Ralphie boy. Put it there. Congratulations there." (shaking Ralph's hand): "Alice just told me the good news there about the suggestion you made down at the company. That was a pretty smart idea of yours, bringing in a traffic expert. Ha ha ha. They didn't need an expert. I could tell what the trouble was. Too many buses on Madison Avenue, that's all. That traffic expert will take some of the buses off the line and lay off some of the drivers. Of course, it will be rough on the bus drivers that are being laid off. But, at a time like this, you got to think of yourself. Think how much better of you and the bus drivers that are working." (slapping Ralph's shoulder): "What's the good word buddy boy?" Ralph: "I was the first to go." Ralph mentions that he was laid off along with nine other drivers and says a line that culminates with: "You know that sign at the post office that says: 'The mail gets through no matter what kind of weather'? Do you know why it says that? Because the mailman rides with me." Ed opffers to make Ralph feel better. Ralph: "What do I have to smile about?" Ed: "That's the point. Now, more than ever you got to keep your spirits up. Sure, it's easy to smile when things are going good. But, smiling at a time like this is more of a challenge. Come on Ralphie, let me see you smile there. Show me those ivories. Give me the Liberance." (Ralph smiles.) Ed: "That's it. Beautiful. Beautiful. Just stay like that. Think of happy times. Think of yesterday when your boss said to you that he was going to use your suggestion of hiring a traffic expert on Madison Ave." (Ralph stops smiling.) Ed: "You should be proud Ralphie boy. No one else thought of that. You had that idea stored in your brain. Smile. Smile…" Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

Ralph and Alice talk over how they will manage. Their money count is amounted to $12.83. Alice offers taking a job as a secretary but Ralph says that who is going to do all the housework. Alice says that he will much to his chagrin. He complains about it. Alice goes into the bedroom. Ralph: "Har-har-Har-har-hardee-har-har!" Ed comes in and thinks that Ralph is happy, so he says: "Smile." Ralph kicks him out again.

In the next scene, Ralph is wearing an apron is a very funny way. Alice comes home and it is role reversal. Instead of Alice complaining about the amount of housework, it's Ralph and instead of Ralph complaining about the food for dinner, it's Alice. They are having hot dogs for dinner. Alice's boss, Mr. Amego (sp?) is coming and she said that Ralph is her brother and she's unmarried. Ralph: "You said that you're not what and that I'm who." The company that she works for doesn't believe in hiring married women and she works in an all-male office. Ralph is angry about that and said to Alice that she is quitting. Ralph: "This is not your brother that is talking. This is your husband." Ed comes down and Ralph talks over his current problem with Ed. Ed says to not worry about it and that the boss that he works for is the ugliest woman that has ever lived and that Ralph's boss may be old and ugly. Sure enough, Ralph's boss comes in and he is neither old nor ugly. Ed leaves. Ralph gets in his jealous mood of his. Mr. Amego: "You two don't look like brother and sister." He says that Alice is pretty and Ralph is fat. Ralph goes into the bedroom and him and Alice argue. You can't hear exactly what they are saying. Those two did the same thing in "Kramden Vs. Norton." Alice comes out. Mr. Amego offers to drive her in her convertible with the top down. Ralph has a better idea. He will come with them and they will take the subway on the way home and be home in an hour and a half. Finally, Ralph offers for them to stay in the apartment and do work. Mr. Amego gets the equipment. Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph? Have you lost your mind?" Ralph: "I trust you. I don't trust him." Alice says that Ralph should have his head examined.

Alice and Mr. Amego are typing up things. Alice is using a typewriter. If this episode was done today, she would use a laptop. Ralph is acting jealous and acting crazy. Finally, a bus driver comes in and notifies Ralph that he is no longer laid off. Ralph's response? He asks Mr. Amego to stand up and hold out his arms so he can put the typewriter and papers and all of the other things that Mr. Amego brought in and orders him out. The bus depot driver leaves. Ralph: "Say that I am a maniac Alice. Go ahead. But, I don't care. that's the way I feel. Alice is happy. She loves Ralph because not every wife has a husband who is still jealous of her after a very long period of time. She said almost the exact thing in "This Is Your Life." They hug and kiss.

Episode #100
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Alice & The Blonde."
DVD: Attached to episodes #9-16 of the classic 39.

Ralph is getting ready for his Raccoon meeting while Alice is sewing his uniform. Ralph helps her out but Ed interrupts him by walking in. Ed helps out Ralph. Ed then does a crossword puzzle. Ralph gets a telegram and it says that mother is coming. Ralph assumes that it's Alice's mother. It says that it's she's coming for a short visit. Ralph: "You know what her short visits are? Like the time she said that she was coming for Christmas and New Year's. Only thing is she came for New Year's and stayed until Christmas." Gee, almost a whole year. Ralph orders Alice to order her not to come but that's impossible because Alice doesn't have a phone. All this time, Ed is doing a crossword puzzle and bugs Ralph. Ralph orders him out. When Ralph leaves for his meeting, he says that he will move in with Norton until she leaves.

That night, in the Norton's apartment. Ed is getting Ralph ready to go to sleep. Trixie is awakened and is being told that Ralph is moving up here until Alice's mother leaves. Trixie says that Ralph is wrong and talks to Ed about this whole situation and that Ed needs to let Ralph live downstairs in his house. During this, Ed says that the Raccoon organization is not in favor of good marriages. Gee, what a good organization...NOT! Ralph comes back in and she leaves them alone. Ralph and Ed talk about each of their mother-in-laws and how much they hate them. Gee. Eventually, Ralph realizes the error of his ways and tells Trixie about it. Trixie is happy and says that Ed loves her mom. Ralph says that Ed has lied to him. Ralph then says how much Ed hates his mother-in-law. The Nortons are now fighting and Trixie moves downstairs with Alice.

The next day, Ralph comes home before work. Trixie leaves the kitchen. Alice says that this whole deal is his fault while Ralph says that it's her mom's fault. Mom has arrived, but it's Ralph's mom. She didn't say whose mother she was in the telegram and is worried that she caused confusion. Alice says that she doesn't have anything to worry. Ralph is upset. He apologizes for this whole situation. Alice gives him a piece of paper that was written by another man. Ralph reads it. Ralph: "'Dear Mom, I'd just thought I'd write and tell you this. A mother-in-law is the most criticized, the most misunderstood and the most defenseless of all women. The average women must be clever enough to know when to speak, but a mother-in-law must know when to keep silent. She must be very wise, wise enough sometimes to withhold advice, although she knows the answer to the problem. A mother-in-law must sit on the fence between her own child and the child by marriage. Somehow she must keep her balance. She must lean backwards until her spine aches or else she's accused of being partial and she isn't permitted the luxury of hurt feelings or tears. If a person could put themselves in their mother-in-laws place, weigh her in the balance, being completely fair; they'd nominate her for the Presidency of the United States, and she'd be the first women to make it.'" (not reading): "This is pretty nice. Who wrote it?" Alice: "You did." They soon make up and kiss.

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