"Looking Back" {before first break} (The Facts season 23 episode 1)

[DSFOL]

The New THEME SONG (to tune of original)

[(slowly)]
You take the good
You take the bad
You take 'em both and there you have
(ROCK AND ROLL)
THE FACTS!
THE FACTS!
(slowly)
There was a time they had to go and show there grow'n now you know that they went through
(ROCK AND ROLL)
THE FACTS!
THE FACTS!
YOU GOT THE FUTURE...IN THE PALM
ALL YOU GOTTA DO TO GET YOU THROUGH
IS UNDErSTAND THE FACTS REVOLE ALL AROUND YOU! ALL AROUND YOU! YOU-U-U-U-U!

You turn around who do you see
Tootie Blair Jo and Natalieee
Sexy Lingerie is what it's all about and suddenly your findin' out THE FACTS!


CAST:

Blair Warner................Lisa Whelchel
Jo Donohue..................Nancy McKeon
Natalie Ugurt...............Mindy Cohn
Dorothy Ian Rae.............Kim Fields
Mrs. Garrett................Charlotte Rae
Bev Ann's Ghost (voice).....Cloris Leachman
Bob Donohue.................Heath Ledger
Ray Ugurt...................Brad Pitt
Ian Rae.....................Chow Yun Fat


THE FACTS
SEASON 23
EPISODE 1
"Looking Back"

(THEME INTO SHOW)

[Ian and Dorothy roll in the kitchen making out as Blair is making breakfast]
Blair: YOU TWO! (Kicks them) GET OFF THE GROUND!
[they get up]
Dorth: Ian! Remember when Blair first kicked us to stop us from making out?
*********FLASH BACK*********
Blair: YOU TWO! (Kicks them) GET OFF THE GROUND!
[they get up]
Dorth: Ian! Remember when Blair first kicked us to stop us from making out?
********FLASH BACK**********
Blair: YOU TWO! (Kicks them) GET OFF THE GROUND!
[they get up]
Dorth: Ian! Remember when Blair first kicked us to stop us from making out?
*******2001*********
Blair: OKAY OKAY! I GET THE POINT!
[Mrs. G. drives through a wall on a motor cycle]
Edna: HEY! LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND! It is from when Natalie worked at that weirdo's shop.
Natalie: Hey! That 'weirdo' is my husband!
Edna: Whatever. This is called a Flashback Machine.
Dorth: A GOOGINBOBBER WATZIT?
Jo: She said Flashback Machine!
Dorth: Oh.
Edna: See, you type in what episode of what season--er---what year you want to go to.
Blair: Me FIRST! (Jumps to front) Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...I think I want to go back to..................
Jo: PICK SOMETIME BOZO!
Blair: Okay, when I almost got married in season 16 episode 5.
Edna: Okay [types it in] everyone touch the machine with any part to come with us.
Ian: Ohh! I'll touch it with my d-
Dorth: IAN!
Ian: OOPS!
(THEY ARE ALL TOUCHING)
Edna: HERE WE GO!
Machine: BEEP! BEEP!
*********Flash Back*************
Priest: Is there any reason that these two shouldn't marry eachotha?
Groom: Maybe because I'm gay?
Blair: YOU'RE WHAT!
Groom: You heard me.
Blair: Oh yea, I did.
Blair OF FUTURE: HAHAHAH!
Blair: HEY! HEY! THAT's ME! OF THE FUTURE!!
Blair OF FUTURE: Whoopsies! (hits machine and they dissappear)
*******END FLASHBACK*********

{COMMERCIAL BREAK 1}