Corner Gas Quotes...LOL - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ireneparalegal · 10-25-2007, 10:54 PM

RUBY REBORN:

Brent: Want me to fill it up?
Man: Sure. You know I've never driven across Saskatchewan before.
Brent: Well, you still haven't really. About halfway to go yet.
Man: Sure is flat.
Brent: How do you mean?
Man: You know, flat. Nothing to see.
Brent: What do you mean, like topographically? Hey Hank, this guy says Saskatchewan is flat.
Hank: How do you mean?
Brent: Topographically, I guess. He says there's nothin' to see.
Hank: There's lots to see. There's nothin' to block your view.
Brent: There's lots to see. Nothin' to block your view. Like the mountains back there. They're uh... Well, what the hell? I could've sworn there was a big mountain range back there. Juttin' up into the sky all purple and majestic. I must be thinkin' of a postcard I saw or somethin'. Hey, it is kinda flat, thanks for pointin' that out.
Man: You guys always this sarcastic?
Brent: Nothin' else to do.

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Hank: Freaky abstract art on the walls, and she puts weird cloths on the table.
Brent: You mean tablecloths...
Hank: It's too much. She's turned the coffee house into a gay bar.

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Lacey: I mean come on, a boycott? Look, I'm not clubbing baby seals and I'm not using Hondurian children to make sneakers.
Hank: You could be clubbing baby seals with Hondurian children and I don't care about that!

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Oscar: (to Emma)Your son is turning the gas station into a movie theatre!
Brent: Bear in mind that Dad has a tendency to overstate things.
Oscar: I have never overstated a single thing in the history of the planet!

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Brent: Well, you're not in Toronto anymore, Lacey, with your grande-mocha-dappo-loppa-frappochinos! This is Dog River!

Mikado · 10-25-2007, 11:02 PM

And thats only in episode #1, folks!!!

Ireneparalegal · 10-25-2007, 11:08 PM

TAX MAN (One of my fave episodes)

Brent: It's not just you. Dad once got mad at a butterfly. Called it a 'sonofabitch' and told it to get out of his garden.

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Oscar: Oh, I see, all buddy-buddy with the tax man. My taxes pay for your suit, buddy boy!

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Marvin Drey the Taxman: I can appreciate that you don't wanna help me. I get that a lot, sometimes I get outright hostility. Just because of my job.
Brent: Well, no offence but I mean I can't just turn over my father. There's a bond between father and son that's strong and sacred.
Oscar: Hey idiot! You left the lid on the dumpster up last night! Crows have scattered garbage all over the place out there. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean it, it'll be you out there on your hands and knees scrapin' up crow crap!
Brent: I'll tell you whatever you need to know.

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Oscar: My taxes pay your salary!
Brent: Geez, Dad, you gotta stop paying everyone's salary! You're only one man!

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Oscar: Why'd you come in person? You ever hear of a telephone? It's a handy invention; I'll show you how it works sometime.
Marvin Drey the Taxman: We did call.
Oscar: You did not!
[flashback, Oscar is on the phone]
Oscar: What are you calling me on the phone for? My taxes paid for this call! You got something to say, you come here and say it in person. Get in the car, you ever hear of a car? It's a handy invention; I'll show you how it works sometime!
[He slams the phone down.]
Emma: Who was that?
Oscar: I don't know, some jackass!

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Marvin Drey the Taxman: I just need to speak to your father to verify a few things.
Brent: I don't think he's here. I think he went to Hawaii.
Marvin Drey the Taxman: Hawaii?
Brent: Not Hawaii. Somewhere cheaper than that. Red Deer.

Mikado · 10-25-2007, 11:29 PM

the Taxman ( or should that be *A* Taxman?

<inside CG joke) is my all-time fave ep!

Ireneparalegal · 10-25-2007, 11:36 PM

Yeah, Wanda is fixated on correcting people's grammar isn't she? I love it. She reminds me of "me".

Mikado · 10-26-2007, 12:15 AM

I have a hard time not doing it here on SO, where its against the rules!

Ireneparalegal · 10-26-2007, 12:18 AM

I know, it is hard!!! Grrrrrrrr.....

Ireneparalegal · 10-30-2007, 09:30 PM

MAIL FRAUD

Hank: Is Aruba near Cuba?
Lacey: They don't arrange countries phonetically.
Hank: It would be cool if they did, though. Then Canada would be next to...Granada.
Lacey: It's Grenada.
Hank: Yeah right! And we live in Ca-Nay-Da. So did he tell you where he was going next?
Lacey: Yeah! Yeah, he just landed in Madrid, which is right next to, uh...Fadrid.
Hank: Oh! Lucky skunk.
Lacey: Hank, he's not lucky. He's delusional.

Mikado · 10-30-2007, 09:45 PM

hehehe Makes you want to go on Staycation, doesnt it?

Ireneparalegal · 10-30-2007, 09:51 PM

I need a staycation right now.

Mikado · 10-30-2007, 09:53 PM

Got a big backyard?

robyrob · 10-30-2007, 10:00 PM

Brent: "there's a farmer sniffing my head right now"

Ireneparalegal · 10-30-2007, 10:03 PM

Yeah, what fruit^^^^^ was mentioned abt that?

Mikado · 10-30-2007, 10:18 PM

Mangos!

Ireneparalegal · 10-30-2007, 10:19 PM

Thank you.

10-25-2007, 10:54 PM	#1
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,689	Corner Gas Quotes...LOL RUBY REBORN: Brent: Want me to fill it up? Man: Sure. You know I've never driven across Saskatchewan before. Brent: Well, you still haven't really. About halfway to go yet. Man: Sure is flat. Brent: How do you mean? Man: You know, flat. Nothing to see. Brent: What do you mean, like topographically? Hey Hank, this guy says Saskatchewan is flat. Hank: How do you mean? Brent: Topographically, I guess. He says there's nothin' to see. Hank: There's lots to see. There's nothin' to block your view. Brent: There's lots to see. Nothin' to block your view. Like the mountains back there. They're uh... Well, what the hell? I could've sworn there was a big mountain range back there. Juttin' up into the sky all purple and majestic. I must be thinkin' of a postcard I saw or somethin'. Hey, it is kinda flat, thanks for pointin' that out. Man: You guys always this sarcastic? Brent: Nothin' else to do. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hank: Freaky abstract art on the walls, and she puts weird cloths on the table. Brent: You mean tablecloths... Hank: It's too much. She's turned the coffee house into a gay bar. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lacey: I mean come on, a boycott? Look, I'm not clubbing baby seals and I'm not using Hondurian children to make sneakers. Hank: You could be clubbing baby seals with Hondurian children and I don't care about that! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oscar: (to Emma)Your son is turning the gas station into a movie theatre! Brent: Bear in mind that Dad has a tendency to overstate things. Oscar: I have never overstated a single thing in the history of the planet! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brent: Well, you're not in Toronto anymore, Lacey, with your grande-mocha-dappo-loppa-frappochinos! This is Dog River!
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

10-30-2007, 10:00 PM	#12
robyrob certified wackball#3 Moderator Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 03, 2003 Location: hiding under the third booth at Arnold's Posts: 58,159	Brent: "there's a farmer sniffing my head right now"
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10-25-2007, 11:02 PM	#2
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,880	And thats only in episode #1, folks!!!

10-25-2007, 11:08 PM	#3
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,689	TAX MAN (One of my fave episodes) Brent: It's not just you. Dad once got mad at a butterfly. Called it a 'sonofabitch' and told it to get out of his garden. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oscar: Oh, I see, all buddy-buddy with the tax man. My taxes pay for your suit, buddy boy! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Marvin Drey the Taxman: I can appreciate that you don't wanna help me. I get that a lot, sometimes I get outright hostility. Just because of my job. Brent: Well, no offence but I mean I can't just turn over my father. There's a bond between father and son that's strong and sacred. Oscar: Hey idiot! You left the lid on the dumpster up last night! Crows have scattered garbage all over the place out there. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean it, it'll be you out there on your hands and knees scrapin' up crow crap! Brent: I'll tell you whatever you need to know. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oscar: My taxes pay your salary! Brent: Geez, Dad, you gotta stop paying everyone's salary! You're only one man! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oscar: Why'd you come in person? You ever hear of a telephone? It's a handy invention; I'll show you how it works sometime. Marvin Drey the Taxman: We did call. Oscar: You did not! [flashback, Oscar is on the phone] Oscar: What are you calling me on the phone for? My taxes paid for this call! You got something to say, you come here and say it in person. Get in the car, you ever hear of a car? It's a handy invention; I'll show you how it works sometime! [He slams the phone down.] Emma: Who was that? Oscar: I don't know, some jackass! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Marvin Drey the Taxman: I just need to speak to your father to verify a few things. Brent: I don't think he's here. I think he went to Hawaii. Marvin Drey the Taxman: Hawaii? Brent: Not Hawaii. Somewhere cheaper than that. Red Deer.

10-25-2007, 11:29 PM	#4
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,880	the Taxman ( or should that be A Taxman? <inside CG joke) is my all-time fave ep!

10-25-2007, 11:36 PM	#5
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,689	Yeah, Wanda is fixated on correcting people's grammar isn't she? I love it. She reminds me of "me".

10-26-2007, 12:15 AM	#6
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,880	I have a hard time not doing it here on SO, where its against the rules!

10-26-2007, 12:18 AM	#7
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,689	I know, it is hard!!! Grrrrrrrr.....

10-30-2007, 09:30 PM	#8
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,689	MAIL FRAUD Hank: Is Aruba near Cuba? Lacey: They don't arrange countries phonetically. Hank: It would be cool if they did, though. Then Canada would be next to...Granada. Lacey: It's Grenada. Hank: Yeah right! And we live in Ca-Nay-Da. So did he tell you where he was going next? Lacey: Yeah! Yeah, he just landed in Madrid, which is right next to, uh...Fadrid. Hank: Oh! Lucky skunk. Lacey: Hank, he's not lucky. He's delusional.

10-30-2007, 09:45 PM	#9
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,880	hehehe Makes you want to go on Staycation, doesnt it?

10-30-2007, 09:51 PM	#10
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,689	I need a staycation right now.

10-30-2007, 09:53 PM	#11
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,880	Got a big backyard?

10-30-2007, 10:03 PM	#13
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,689	Yeah, what fruit^^^^^ was mentioned abt that?

10-30-2007, 10:18 PM	#14
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,880	Mangos!

10-30-2007, 10:19 PM	#15
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,689	Thank you.