The Facts are New:"Kid's Fare" - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

JT · 08-31-2001, 06:48 PM

The Facts Are New
Episode:Kid's Fare #003
Season:One
Scene:Andy and Pippa's Room:
Andy:So what are we going to do?
Pippa:I have a papers to grade (goes over to desk)
Andy:Hum.....I've already read the newspaper.......I could always go downstairs and watch TV.
Pippa:But it's 12:15.
Andy:Then why are you grading papers?
Pippa:Because I promised the students that I would have them ready tommorrow.I'm already two days late.
Andy:Oh......You know we can get a little TV to put in here.
Pippa:That'll cost about........$150.
Andy:Well look at it I'm a mailman and you're a teacher-
Pippa:History teacher.
Andy:History teacher......and I get about.........$25 everyday.And that doesn't include tips from Old Lady Harperville.
Pippa:I thought she moved.
Andy:She didn't exactley.....they confiscated her house.
Pippa:Oh my god!
Andy:Hey it isn't my fault she's half blind and didn't know I went over to borrow some sugar!
Pippa:Sometimes I just don't know why you do the things you do.....OH MY GOD!!!!!!
Andy:What?!
Pippa:I just spilled coffee all over this test paper!!!!!!!!
Andy:I guess you have to give it to him or her like that.
Pippa:Andy!
Andy

on't worry it'll dry!
Scene:Over Our Heads:
Jo:Hey Nat did you see "The Birds" last night?It was on AMC....TCM....no AMC.....no it was TCM....
Nat:Wait....here is an easy way to remember them.AMC shows classics from the 60s through early-80s.TCM shows movies from the 20s to 50s.That puts The Birds in AMC.
Tootie:It was TCM...I watched it with Jeff.
Nat:In that case it came on USA!
Tootie:I remember back in the earl-90s there was this sitcom I used to watch every morning called "The Bronx,Rollerskate,Rich and Wisecracking Girls".I wonder what happened to it....(all look at her mysteriously).
Blair:Good morning!I have another bright sunshiny day with those darling kids.The ones who put spitballs on the walls,who never do homework,the ones who remind me of Steve Urkel....the ones who remind me of Tiffany.....The ones who remind me of Marilyn Manson....the ones that remind me of Charles Manson.........I think I might stay home today......
Tootie:Oh I better bring goggles to work.......we have a topic called "Cheating Lovers Strut Their Stuff".
Jo:Well I need some help on making an Oscar winning sauce.
Blair:Movies win Oscars.
Jo:Emmy winning.
Blair:TV.
Jo:Grammy winning.
Blair:Music.
Jo:Tony winning.
Blair:Broadway.
Jo:Blair...let's just put it this way......Nobel Prize Winning.
Blair:P-
Jo:SHUT UP!!!!!!
Nat:Fiesty aren't we?
Tootie:Nat can I have you pose as a "Love Phychologist" on today's show?
Nat:With this big neighborhood theft accross town maybe they'll let me get out the floppy shoes for the kids who are scared!
(Nancy comes in)
Nancy:No Tootie for the 50th time I will NOT pose as a Love Expert for your show!They need me down at the station.
Nat:Not really we can always get Judy Micheals.
Nancy:That troll!!!!!!!!???????
Nat:Let's just go!
Scene:Wal-Mart:
Pippa:OK Andy I found this cute little set down the aisle!
Andy:Funny I found a nice-sized set on the other aisle.
Pippa:OK let's go get the one I wanted.
Andy:What do you mean?
Pippa:It's lady's choice week!
Andy:But what about our marriage?Love honer and obey?
Pippa:What about love honer and obey?You said the same thing Mister!
Andy:Great we'll just observe the other's choice and choose!
(They go over to Pippa's choice)
Pippa:It's nice compact.......has a remote.
Andy:Pippa that TV is so small if you watch The Newlywed Game you'd only see two couples.
Pippa:Well let's look at yours!
(Go over to Andy's)
Andy:Nice medium sized remote controled had a VCR that comes with it......costs $200.
Pippa:Mine costs $150!
Andy:In the world of TVs we don't look at prices.You look at features.
Pippa:Here we go again.
Andy:Seriously.....you count the features and see what has the most.
Pippa:We aren't getting your choice.
Salesman:OK We'll give it to you for $150.
Pippa:We'll take it.
Scene:That Night:
Pippa:I don't like this TV.Everything is too big.
Andy:That's the beauty of it!
Pippa:I'm going to watch the set downstairs.
Andy:But it's 1:00am.
Pippa:And.....
Andy:Last night you said that it was to late and I'll wake everybody.
Pippa:That's because you make to much noise.You have to get a midnight snack.....that is usually a bag of chips.You cruch munch and yell at the screen.
Andy:Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me!At least I don't have a stupid accent!Hey mate!G'day!Why didn't you just marry the Crocedile Hunter?
Pippa:I'm getting out!I'm going to watch the set downstairs!
Scene:The Next Day/Living Room:
Andy:Hello Ms.McKenna.
Pippa:Mr. Moffet.
Blair:Mrs.Polnczeak.
Jo:Mrs.Waner.
Nat:Mrs.Tootie.
Tootie:Mrs.Green.....hey why are we doing this?
Nat:I'm clueless.
Pippa:Mr.Moffet and I aren't speaking.
Andy:That means no speaking terms for all Americans.
Pippa:You little brat!
Andy:You little prarie dog!
Pippa:Get out of my face!
Andy:Go back to the Outback!
Pippa:You go to the outback!
Andy:Shut up Tina!
Jo:Both of ya's shut up!
Mrs.G:I heard some name calling....Andy...Pippa are you still quarreling?
Andy:This is more than a quarrel.This is nuptial rights!
Mrs.G:These are nuptial rights.
Andy:Sorry....Blame the person who invented the word nuptial.
Pippa:Nobody invents words.I know who hadn't read a Social Studies book when they were in school......
Jo:So what if I didn't read a Social Studies book?
Pippa:Not you!You spiky broad!
Jo:Look
(Blair blocks her)
Blair:Can I borrow her right quick?........
Mrs.G:Now both of you!All of this is over a TV!Now I want both of you to bring it back!
Andy:I'm sorry....
MrsG:Too late!
Pippa:I'm sorry.
MrsG:Now we're getting somewhere.You can keep the TV.But if Pippa wants to watch TV she can buy her own to keep on her desk.
Pippa:OK but-
MrsG:No ifs ands or buts!
P&A:OK.....
THE END
Liked it?
Next week:Marlo and David go on a secret date that is secretly chaperoned by Blair and Jo in "Those Kids!"

Ryanmo97 · 08-31-2001, 08:28 PM

Keep up the good work! These are great stories.

------------------
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http://www.geocities.com/ryanmo97/FOLFF/FOLFF.html
Now with over 100 stories.

08-31-2001, 06:48 PM	#1
JT Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 29, 2001 Location: USA Posts: 7,223	The Facts are New:"Kid's Fare" The Facts Are New Episode:Kid's Fare #003 Season:One Scene:Andy and Pippa's Room: Andy:So what are we going to do? Pippa:I have a papers to grade (goes over to desk) Andy:Hum.....I've already read the newspaper.......I could always go downstairs and watch TV. Pippa:But it's 12:15. Andy:Then why are you grading papers? Pippa:Because I promised the students that I would have them ready tommorrow.I'm already two days late. Andy:Oh......You know we can get a little TV to put in here. Pippa:That'll cost about........$150. Andy:Well look at it I'm a mailman and you're a teacher- Pippa:History teacher. Andy:History teacher......and I get about.........$25 everyday.And that doesn't include tips from Old Lady Harperville. Pippa:I thought she moved. Andy:She didn't exactley.....they confiscated her house. Pippa:Oh my god! Andy:Hey it isn't my fault she's half blind and didn't know I went over to borrow some sugar! Pippa:Sometimes I just don't know why you do the things you do.....OH MY GOD!!!!!! Andy:What?! Pippa:I just spilled coffee all over this test paper!!!!!!!! Andy:I guess you have to give it to him or her like that. Pippa:Andy! Andyon't worry it'll dry! Scene:Over Our Heads: Jo:Hey Nat did you see "The Birds" last night?It was on AMC....TCM....no AMC.....no it was TCM.... Nat:Wait....here is an easy way to remember them.AMC shows classics from the 60s through early-80s.TCM shows movies from the 20s to 50s.That puts The Birds in AMC. Tootie:It was TCM...I watched it with Jeff. Nat:In that case it came on USA! Tootie:I remember back in the earl-90s there was this sitcom I used to watch every morning called "The Bronx,Rollerskate,Rich and Wisecracking Girls".I wonder what happened to it....(all look at her mysteriously). Blair:Good morning!I have another bright sunshiny day with those darling kids.The ones who put spitballs on the walls,who never do homework,the ones who remind me of Steve Urkel....the ones who remind me of Tiffany.....The ones who remind me of Marilyn Manson....the ones that remind me of Charles Manson.........I think I might stay home today...... Tootie:Oh I better bring goggles to work.......we have a topic called "Cheating Lovers Strut Their Stuff". Jo:Well I need some help on making an Oscar winning sauce. Blair:Movies win Oscars. Jo:Emmy winning. Blair:TV. Jo:Grammy winning. Blair:Music. Jo:Tony winning. Blair:Broadway. Jo:Blair...let's just put it this way......Nobel Prize Winning. Blair:P- Jo:SHUT UP!!!!!! Nat:Fiesty aren't we? Tootie:Nat can I have you pose as a "Love Phychologist" on today's show? Nat:With this big neighborhood theft accross town maybe they'll let me get out the floppy shoes for the kids who are scared! (Nancy comes in) Nancy:No Tootie for the 50th time I will NOT pose as a Love Expert for your show!They need me down at the station. Nat:Not really we can always get Judy Micheals. Nancy:That troll!!!!!!!!??????? Nat:Let's just go! Scene:Wal-Mart: Pippa:OK Andy I found this cute little set down the aisle! Andy:Funny I found a nice-sized set on the other aisle. Pippa:OK let's go get the one I wanted. Andy:What do you mean? Pippa:It's lady's choice week! Andy:But what about our marriage?Love honer and obey? Pippa:What about love honer and obey?You said the same thing Mister! Andy:Great we'll just observe the other's choice and choose! (They go over to Pippa's choice) Pippa:It's nice compact.......has a remote. Andy:Pippa that TV is so small if you watch The Newlywed Game you'd only see two couples. Pippa:Well let's look at yours! (Go over to Andy's) Andy:Nice medium sized remote controled had a VCR that comes with it......costs $200. Pippa:Mine costs $150! Andy:In the world of TVs we don't look at prices.You look at features. Pippa:Here we go again. Andy:Seriously.....you count the features and see what has the most. Pippa:We aren't getting your choice. Salesman:OK We'll give it to you for $150. Pippa:We'll take it. Scene:That Night: Pippa:I don't like this TV.Everything is too big. Andy:That's the beauty of it! Pippa:I'm going to watch the set downstairs. Andy:But it's 1:00am. Pippa:And..... Andy:Last night you said that it was to late and I'll wake everybody. Pippa:That's because you make to much noise.You have to get a midnight snack.....that is usually a bag of chips.You cruch munch and yell at the screen. Andy:Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me!At least I don't have a stupid accent!Hey mate!G'day!Why didn't you just marry the Crocedile Hunter? Pippa:I'm getting out!I'm going to watch the set downstairs! Scene:The Next Day/Living Room: Andy:Hello Ms.McKenna. Pippa:Mr. Moffet. Blair:Mrs.Polnczeak. Jo:Mrs.Waner. Nat:Mrs.Tootie. Tootie:Mrs.Green.....hey why are we doing this? Nat:I'm clueless. Pippa:Mr.Moffet and I aren't speaking. Andy:That means no speaking terms for all Americans. Pippa:You little brat! Andy:You little prarie dog! Pippa:Get out of my face! Andy:Go back to the Outback! Pippa:You go to the outback! Andy:Shut up Tina! Jo:Both of ya's shut up! Mrs.G:I heard some name calling....Andy...Pippa are you still quarreling? Andy:This is more than a quarrel.This is nuptial rights! Mrs.G:These are nuptial rights. Andy:Sorry....Blame the person who invented the word nuptial. Pippa:Nobody invents words.I know who hadn't read a Social Studies book when they were in school...... Jo:So what if I didn't read a Social Studies book? Pippa:Not you!You spiky broad! Jo:Look (Blair blocks her) Blair:Can I borrow her right quick?........ Mrs.G:Now both of you!All of this is over a TV!Now I want both of you to bring it back! Andy:I'm sorry.... MrsG:Too late! Pippa:I'm sorry. MrsG:Now we're getting somewhere.You can keep the TV.But if Pippa wants to watch TV she can buy her own to keep on her desk. Pippa:OK but- MrsG:No ifs ands or buts! P&A:OK..... THE END Liked it? Next week:Marlo and David go on a secret date that is secretly chaperoned by Blair and Jo in "Those Kids!"

08-31-2001, 08:28 PM	#2
Ryanmo97 Me & Lisa Whelchel! Frequent Poster Join Date: Apr 15, 2001 Location: Maple City, MI Posts: 295	Keep up the good work! These are great stories. ------------------ Check out the Internet's Number 1 Web Site dedicated to Fan Fiction for the TV Series "The Facts of Life"@ http://www.geocities.com/ryanmo97/FOLFF/FOLFF.html Now with over 100 stories.