Saturday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 10-13-2007, 07:18 AM

"Follow The Boys":

(Ed is doing a crossword puzzle outside.)

Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one: House. H-o-s-e. That is the trouble with these puzzles. They don't present a challenge."

Alice: "Yeah, they are easy. Easy: E-z-y."

"Boy Next Door":

(Ralph thinks that Ed & Alice are lovers. Ed is in Ralph's home.)

Alice: "Excuse me sweetheart."

Ralph: "Who are you calling 'sweetheart.'"

Alice: "Norton. Who else?"

"The Sleepwalker":

Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key."

Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve."

"Oh My Aching Back":

(Ralph tries to straighten up with his bad back. He stands up straight but in an unnatural way.)

Ralph: "Does this look natural?"

Ed: "Like the Leaning Tower of Pizza."

"Game Called On Account of Marriage":

Ralph: "Grogan, if you had two tickets to a World Series game and your sister-in-law was going to get married at the same time as the game, where would you go?"

Grogan: "I would go to the wedding."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

"Stars Over Flatbush":

(Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.)

Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?"

Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach."

Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ralph is impatiently waiting for Ed to get out of the bathtub so he can take a bath. Ralph is worried that he will be late for work with all the waiting that he is doing.)

Alice: "We will make a schedule. One morning, Ed will use the bathroom first. The next morning, you will use it first."

Ralph: "That solves the whole problem. Now, I will only be late every other day."

"Alice & The Blonde":

Alice: "Ralph, do you know what time it is?"

Ralph: "Yeah, it's a little after 11p."

Alice: "Yeah, about three hours after 11."

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Ralph: "Just for that remark Alice, when we get to Fred's Landing, I won't introduce you to Fred."

Alice: "From this blow, I may never recover."

10-13-2007, 07:18 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,073	Saturday's Quotes: "Follow The Boys": (Ed is doing a crossword puzzle outside.) Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one: House. H-o-s-e. That is the trouble with these puzzles. They don't present a challenge." Alice: "Yeah, they are easy. Easy: E-z-y." "Boy Next Door": (Ralph thinks that Ed & Alice are lovers. Ed is in Ralph's home.) Alice: "Excuse me sweetheart." Ralph: "Who are you calling 'sweetheart.'" Alice: "Norton. Who else?" "The Sleepwalker": Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key." Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve." "Oh My Aching Back": (Ralph tries to straighten up with his bad back. He stands up straight but in an unnatural way.) Ralph: "Does this look natural?" Ed: "Like the Leaning Tower of Pizza." "Game Called On Account of Marriage": Ralph: "Grogan, if you had two tickets to a World Series game and your sister-in-law was going to get married at the same time as the game, where would you go?" Grogan: "I would go to the wedding." Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!" "Stars Over Flatbush": (Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.) Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?" Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach." Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll." "Flushing Ho": (Ralph is impatiently waiting for Ed to get out of the bathtub so he can take a bath. Ralph is worried that he will be late for work with all the waiting that he is doing.) Alice: "We will make a schedule. One morning, Ed will use the bathroom first. The next morning, you will use it first." Ralph: "That solves the whole problem. Now, I will only be late every other day." "Alice & The Blonde": Alice: "Ralph, do you know what time it is?" Ralph: "Yeah, it's a little after 11p." Alice: "Yeah, about three hours after 11." "Vacation At Fred's Landing": Ralph: "Just for that remark Alice, when we get to Fred's Landing, I won't introduce you to Fred." Alice: "From this blow, I may never recover."