Re-8.1: The Times They Are A-Changing

[BeatleMoe]

Episode Cast:
Dixie Carter, Annie Potts, Jan Hooks, Alice Ghostley (I know she died, but we are keeping her around as my tribute), and Meshach Taylor
Special Guest Star Judith Ivey as BJ POTEET

Written by BeatleMoe

Scene 1 opens at Sugarbakers
CARLENE: Boy, this is been quite a big day today.
MARY JO: Tell me about it. Times change. People change. You know, I think it's the weather. Something about the fall just seems to bring out the changes in people. Anthony and Ettienne haven't been married a year yet, and they are divorcing.
CARLENE: I cain't believe that Julia is going to be moving Bernice into the house!
MARY JO: Talk about a handful. She was estatic that Anthony's divorce papers came through. Things could get pretty interesting in here. (BJ enters)
BJ: Mornin, y'all. Boy it is such a nice day to play the stock market!
MARY JO: Stock market? It's kinda like playing Russian Roullette these days.
BJ: Well, I just hit high today. I put about 20% of James' stock in the market to see how well Poteet Industries could do today, and wollah, she did good.
CARLENE: It's like when Joe Bob Simpson from down the street of my Momma's house won the lottery. He just went crazy.
MARY JO: Imagine someone from Missouri winning the lottery. Imagine anyone winning the lottery.
CARLENE: Well, ya know, it wasn't like the "Lottery," it was actually called the "Piggly Wiggly Pottery Lottery," cause he won like a month supply of meat from pot-bellied pigs.
BJ: Well, that's fascinating Carlene. I'm glad that my winnings could compare to a month supply of meat.
MARY JO: You know, BJ, you have the larger cash flow of Sugarbaker's, why would you even want to gamble with OUR business earnings like that? I mean, Poteet Industries and Sugarbaker's are tied together.
BJ: Mary Jo, you are no fun. I know it was a hell of a gamble, but I am stir crazy in this life. I mean, all I am good for is my cash flow around here, and not that I don't enjoy myself or enjoy putting a bee in Julia's bonnet every now and then, but this past year has been tough. I nearly lost both businesses with Kearnsy last spring, and I bailed y'all out. I think it's time for a change. (Enter Julia, Bernice and Anthony)
BERNICE: Oh Anthony, I can't tell you how sorry I am about your divorce.
ANTHONY: Thank you Bernice.
BERNICE: I'll be living here now, and I can be your love slave 24/7.
ANTHONY: That's quite all right.
JULIA: Bernice, why don't you go up to your room. There is a LAW AND ORDER marathon on TV.
BERNICE: Thank you Julia. That Jesse Jackson is cute.
ANTHONY: That's Jesse MARTIN, Bernice.
BERNICE: Jealous, Stuff? (Gives an odd glance, and heads upstairs)
JULIA: BJ, I couldn't help but catch that you are in need of a change.
BJ: Yes Julia, I am in need, and not like the change you've gone through. Just teasin. Listen y'all, I know how much this business means to you, but I think I am a bit homesick, and I miss Houston, and I am thinking of leaving Atlanta.
CARLENE: BJ, you cain't leave, you're a lot of fun.
BJ: Well thank you Carlene.
MARY JO: And you are so unpredictable, and you are witty, and just sweet.
BJ: Well thank you Mary Jo.
JULIA: I just can't believe that you are wanting to leave us.
BJ: Well, it just makes sense. I mean, I have no business sense, and I have 40 billion dollars, plus a little more that I won in the stock market.
JULIA: You invested in the stock market?
BJ: Yeah. I won an extra 20 million.
JULIA: Well that seems a little high for the Stock market. That was quite a gamble, BJ.
BJ: I know that. I could have jeopardized the business by doing that, which is why I am giving that to you Julia.
CARLENE: Whoa! It's like Ed McMahon walked into your living room.
BJ: Well it's the least I could do. It's a big cash flow, and it would leave you all millionaires in case you would want to retire.
MARY JO: 20 million dollars! That's more than what Suzanne ever put up. That's like 200 times that!
JULIA: Yes I know. I'm gonna have to think about this BJ.
BJ: Hell, what's there to think about? I am pulling out of town in a week anyway.
ANTHONY: A week? How long have you been planning on leaving.
BJ: A week. I figured that it would transition as my two week notice. I put my house up on the market, and I am going to be carrying out my dear sweet James' business in Houston.
(The ladies and Anthony just sit baffled by all of this)
CARLENE: BJ, you cain't leave.
BJ: (turns to the others) Aw, ain't she sweet? Carlene, I am not dropping you all, I just feel it's time to move on. Well, the twenty million is there to add to your partnerships, including Carlene's sister's share, and I am leaving a portion to Carlene so she has a partnership interest.
CARLENE: Wow! I've been promoted to invoice girl to partner.
JULIA: We will discuss that later.
BJ: Well, I must be leaving for home now. I have a lot of packing to do and I have to keep Steadman on his feet. I am throwing myself a goodbye party this weekend. We'll have Manilla Killers, and what the hell, I'll strap MYSELF into that bondage wheel, what do you say?

TO BE CONTINUED...