Thursday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 09-27-2007, 08:58 AM

"A Matter of Life & Death":

Ralph: "I am not going to die."

Ed: "You mean never?"

"The Babysitter":

Ralph: "Don't you realize that this is man's place of business? How would you feel if someone came down to where you worked at and helped himself to everything he saw?"

Ed: "Help himself to what?"

"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":

(After Ralph threatens that he and Ed are going to jump out the hotel window if the wives don't give them the money, Ed accidentally falls out.)

Ed: "I forgot. We are on the ground floor."

Ralph: "You don't know how to fall correctly."

Ed: "I would if we were on the 15th floor."

"Young At Heart":

Alice: "I want to do the things that young people do. That is what keeps you young."

Ralph: "You want to do things that young people do? Let's play games that young people play. Let's play 'House.' You'll be the mommy and I'll be the poppy. All right mommy - CLEAN UP!"

"Brother-In-Law":

Frank: "Hey Ralph, are you going to eat your soup?"

Ralph: "I'm not hungry."

Frank (about to grab the soup): "Well, I hate to see anything go to waste."

Ralph (taking the soup): "I just got hungry."

"Cottage For Sale Part 2":

(All of them are in the lemon that is their cottage.)

Ralph (yells): "WOULD YOU GET OFF MY BACK ALICE? WOULD YOU GET OFF MY BACK? I AM TELLING YOU THIS PLACE IS GOING TO BE FIXED UP REAL GOOD."

Alice (yells): "YOU MADE A MISTAKE. WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT IT RALPH?"

Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT. I ADMIT IT! I ADMIT IT! I ADMIT IT! I MADE A MISTAKE. GO AHEAD AND KILL ME. GO AHEAD AND KILL ME."

Alice (yells): "DON'T TEMPT ME RALPH. DON'T TEMPT ME."

"My Fair Landlord":

(Ralph has just complained to Mr. Olsen that he does nothing for the apartment building. Ralph leaves.)

Mr. Olsen: "Your husband has got a lot of nerve saying that to me Mrs. Kramden. I do plenty around here. Last night, I was up until midnight waxing the stairs..."

Ralph (falling down the stairs, yells): "DUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Without Reservations":

Ralph: "When the girls get here, I want them to get a good impression. So keep your mouth shut."

Ed: "If you want them to have a good impression, keep the door shut."

"In Twenty-Five Words or Less":

Ed: "Hey, why don't you name the dog 'Ralph'?"

Ralph: "'Ralph?'"

Ed: "Yeah, that way not only people can call him, dogs can call him. Ralph. Ralph."

(Ed makes barking sounds.)

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

09-27-2007, 08:58 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,041	Thursday's Quotes: "A Matter of Life & Death": Ralph: "I am not going to die." Ed: "You mean never?" "The Babysitter": Ralph: "Don't you realize that this is man's place of business? How would you feel if someone came down to where you worked at and helped himself to everything he saw?" Ed: "Help himself to what?" "Hawaii! Oh! Oh!": (After Ralph threatens that he and Ed are going to jump out the hotel window if the wives don't give them the money, Ed accidentally falls out.) Ed: "I forgot. We are on the ground floor." Ralph: "You don't know how to fall correctly." Ed: "I would if we were on the 15th floor." "Young At Heart": Alice: "I want to do the things that young people do. That is what keeps you young." Ralph: "You want to do things that young people do? Let's play games that young people play. Let's play 'House.' You'll be the mommy and I'll be the poppy. All right mommy - CLEAN UP!" "Brother-In-Law": Frank: "Hey Ralph, are you going to eat your soup?" Ralph: "I'm not hungry." Frank (about to grab the soup): "Well, I hate to see anything go to waste." Ralph (taking the soup): "I just got hungry." "Cottage For Sale Part 2": (All of them are in the lemon that is their cottage.) Ralph (yells): "WOULD YOU GET OFF MY BACK ALICE? WOULD YOU GET OFF MY BACK? I AM TELLING YOU THIS PLACE IS GOING TO BE FIXED UP REAL GOOD." Alice (yells): "YOU MADE A MISTAKE. WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT IT RALPH?" Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT. I ADMIT IT! I ADMIT IT! I ADMIT IT! I MADE A MISTAKE. GO AHEAD AND KILL ME. GO AHEAD AND KILL ME." Alice (yells): "DON'T TEMPT ME RALPH. DON'T TEMPT ME." "My Fair Landlord": (Ralph has just complained to Mr. Olsen that he does nothing for the apartment building. Ralph leaves.) Mr. Olsen: "Your husband has got a lot of nerve saying that to me Mrs. Kramden. I do plenty around here. Last night, I was up until midnight waxing the stairs..." Ralph (falling down the stairs, yells): "DUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Without Reservations": Ralph: "When the girls get here, I want them to get a good impression. So keep your mouth shut." Ed: "If you want them to have a good impression, keep the door shut." "In Twenty-Five Words or Less": Ed: "Hey, why don't you name the dog 'Ralph'?" Ralph: "'Ralph?'" Ed: "Yeah, that way not only people can call him, dogs can call him. Ralph. Ralph." (Ed makes barking sounds.) Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"