Saturday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 09-15-2007, 07:06 AM

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Trixie: "Ed, did your first day really go well?"

Ed: "It was a dark, dark day."

"On Stage":

Ralph: "That shows how much you know about show business. You're always talking about something you don't know anything about. Just remember this: Gregory Peck was an usher at the Music Hall, you know, when they found him, and Kurt Douglas was a soda jerk. So, there's a chance for me."

Alice: "Sure, you can become an usher at the Music Hall or a soda jerk!"

"Hello Mom":

Alice: "My mother is coming and you are going to be nice to her."

Ralph: "I'm going to be nice to her. That's impossible. We don't get along. We're enemies. Natural enemies like a boa constrictor and a mongoose."

"Songwriters":

Ralph: "If you can write music, you can write any kind of music."

Ed: "Oh yeah?"

Ralph: "Yeah."

Ed: "Name me one Rhumba that Beethoven wrote."

"Battle of The Sexes":

(Ed & Ralph have been having Franks and beans for three days.)

Ralph: "I would like to have a decent meal too."

Ed: "Yeah, I see that you are wasting away to a blimp."

"Battle of The Sexes":

(Alice & Trixie are in Trixie's apartment. From the hallway, Ralph is moaning. Ralph is trying to play the sympathy routine. Alice is on to it.)

Alice: "If I don't pay attention, the moan is going to come in spurts
like this: 'Whoooa-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho!"

Ralph (from hallway, moans loudly): "WHOOOA-HO-HO-HO-HO! WHOOOA-HO-HO-HO-HO!"

"Without Reservations":

Stanley: "You know that this is the first time in a long time that I have been here for one of your meals?"

Ralph: "You act like you haven't eaten since."

"Without Reservations":

Stanley: "Ralph, tell me. Are there any more openings at the bus depot?"

Ralph: "No."

Stanley: "Then how do you get in the building?"

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ralph and Ed rehearse their mind-reading act in which Ralph will hold up an object while Ed tries to guess it with the help of Ralph's clue while he can't see. Ed's eyes are closed while Ralph holds up a watch.)

Ralph: "Watch out for this, o' swami."

Ed: "What's the clue?"

09-15-2007, 07:06 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,064	Saturday's Quotes: "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Trixie: "Ed, did your first day really go well?" Ed: "It was a dark, dark day." "On Stage": Ralph: "That shows how much you know about show business. You're always talking about something you don't know anything about. Just remember this: Gregory Peck was an usher at the Music Hall, you know, when they found him, and Kurt Douglas was a soda jerk. So, there's a chance for me." Alice: "Sure, you can become an usher at the Music Hall or a soda jerk!" "Hello Mom": Alice: "My mother is coming and you are going to be nice to her." Ralph: "I'm going to be nice to her. That's impossible. We don't get along. We're enemies. Natural enemies like a boa constrictor and a mongoose." "Songwriters": Ralph: "If you can write music, you can write any kind of music." Ed: "Oh yeah?" Ralph: "Yeah." Ed: "Name me one Rhumba that Beethoven wrote." "Battle of The Sexes": (Ed & Ralph have been having Franks and beans for three days.) Ralph: "I would like to have a decent meal too." Ed: "Yeah, I see that you are wasting away to a blimp." "Battle of The Sexes": (Alice & Trixie are in Trixie's apartment. From the hallway, Ralph is moaning. Ralph is trying to play the sympathy routine. Alice is on to it.) Alice: "If I don't pay attention, the moan is going to come in spurts like this: 'Whoooa-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho!" Ralph (from hallway, moans loudly): "WHOOOA-HO-HO-HO-HO! WHOOOA-HO-HO-HO-HO!" "Without Reservations": Stanley: "You know that this is the first time in a long time that I have been here for one of your meals?" Ralph: "You act like you haven't eaten since." "Without Reservations": Stanley: "Ralph, tell me. Are there any more openings at the bus depot?" Ralph: "No." Stanley: "Then how do you get in the building?" "Life Upon The Wicked Stage": (Ralph and Ed rehearse their mind-reading act in which Ralph will hold up an object while Ed tries to guess it with the help of Ralph's clue while he can't see. Ed's eyes are closed while Ralph holds up a watch.) Ralph: "Watch out for this, o' swami." Ed: "What's the clue?"