Things you will never see/hear on Leave It To Beaver - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ireneparalegal · 08-20-2007, 01:46 AM

June NOT wearing her pearls, wearing jeans and her hair up in curlers.

Ward wearing shorts and a white t-shirt and walking around barefoot.

Wally: "Hey Beav, I don't think I will call you Beav anymore."

Beaver: "Let me mop the kitchen floor for you mom."

Eddie Haskell:"Mrs. Cleaver, I now go to church and attend counseling...you will now see a better Eddie from now on...and that is NO LIE."

Mikado · 08-20-2007, 04:13 AM

June: "Ward, get out the belt, its WHOOPING time!"

Eddie: "Hi Mrs Cleaver, you're an amazingly gullible old bag.....and your dress looks like an old potato sack!"

Beaver: "Gee Wally, what's that you got there?"
Wally: "Cripes Beav', haven't you ever seen "goofballs" and "refers" before? "

Wally: "Hey Eddie, there's something I've been meaning to tell you...."
Eddie: " What's that, Wally?"
Wally: " Well........for some time now.........I've been thinking of you as..umm....more than a friend....(pauses)"

June: "Ward, i hate being stuck in the house all the time...I WANT A DIVORCE, dammit!!!"

catlover79 · 08-20-2007, 08:27 AM

^

Irene and Mikey, you guys are hilarious!!

Eddie becoming a monk and taking a vow of silence.

June: "Ward, fix your OWN

dinner! I am not your maid!"

Wally shaving his head, getting a few tattoos and body piercings.

Ward telling Mr. Rutherford what he REALLY thinks of him.

Lumpy stops calling his dad "Daddy".

June gives up being a housewife and becomes an exotic dancer.

Beaver beating up on Eddie for tormenting him all those years.

Ward giving up the family station wagon to buy himself a Harley.

Beaver joins a punk band.

Waterston_Fan · 08-20-2007, 11:21 AM

Oh, that was great!!!

Ward: "June, lets go upstairs and um... get naked!!"

June: "Ward, stop ringing the damn doorbell and just get your ass inside!! I am not your mother!!!"

Beaver: "Wally, I hate you!"

Wally: "Mom, I want to get you on my bed".

Mikado · 08-20-2007, 04:48 PM

Ward: " Beaver, i'm very disappointed in you for setting the church on fire and, i'm afraid that this time.....I'm gonna have to beat the CRAP out of you!!!!"

Beaver: "Gee Larry, it just dawned on me, what a fat tub of goo you are!"

Ward ( to Jim Rutheford ): " You know, I'm really sick and tired of hearing about how "perfect" your kids are, frankly, the only thing more moronic than your brats, is YOU!"

June: " Ward, can you get me a beer?"

June: " Ward, have you seen my best red lace lingerie and garter, its not in the drawer where I usually..............................OMG, WARD!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ireneparalegal · 08-20-2007, 04:54 PM

Whoa, these are really getting "R" rated. BUT I LOVE IT!!!!!!

Ward to June: "Baby got back!!!!!! Bring your pretty self over here."

Wally: "Dad, mom, I want to quit school. I am going to live life as a beatnik."

Beaver: "Don't call me Beaver anymore...you know what the kids are telling me!!!????"

Eddie: "Mrs. Cleaver, can I help you do your hair today?"

Waterston_Fan · 08-20-2007, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Whoa, these are really getting "R" rated. BUT I LOVE IT!!!!!!

Ward to June: "Baby got back!!!!!! Bring your pretty self over here."

Wally: "Dad, mom, I want to quit school. I am going to live life as a beatnik."

Beaver: "Don't call me Beaver anymore...you know what the kids are telling me!!!????"

Eddie: "Mrs. Cleaver, can I help you do your hair today?"

Oh, I really needed this laugh...

Was and still am upset though... my mom has concrete laid out on the side of the house and um... they weren't careful with the concrete machine and it hit the corner siding of the house adn now there is a hole...

Damn it!!!

WARD!! I need you baby!!

Ireneparalegal · 08-21-2007, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waterston_Fan

Oh, I really needed this laugh...

Was and still am upset though... my mom has concrete laid out on the side of the house and um... they weren't careful with the concrete machine and it hit the corner siding of the house adn now there is a hole...

Damn it!!!

WARD!! I need you baby!!

Glad to have made you laugh. I am sorry for that mishap!

Here are more:

Ward: "June, will you get out of that damn dress and take off those pearls. Who are you trying to impress???"

June: "Ward, it be real nice if you could wear some nice short shorts around the house for a change."

Eddie mowing the lawn for free.

Wally NOT saying "Gee".

Madame X · 08-21-2007, 10:51 PM

Beaver: Gee, Dad. I didn't know it was loaded.

Wally: Let's drive by Mary Ellen Rogers' house one more time. If her light is on, we can score some stuff.

June: It's girls' night out. Sorry, fellas.

Ward: When I was a boy I read Hustler, but here Beav, you can read Ivanhoe.

Eddie: Good morning, Mrs. Cleaver. Did you get any last night?

Larry: Gosh, no. I didn't eat that!

Lumpy: My Daddy can kick your Mommy's butt!

catlover79 · 08-22-2007, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madame X

Beaver: Gee, Dad. I didn't know it was loaded.

Wally: Let's drive by Mary Ellen Rogers' house one more time. If her light is on, we can score some stuff.

June: It's girls' night out. Sorry, fellas.

Ward: When I was a boy I read Hustler, but here Beav, you can read Ivanhoe.

Eddie: Good morning, Mrs. Cleaver. Did you get any last night?

Larry: Gosh, no. I didn't eat that!

Lumpy: My Daddy can kick your Mommy's butt!

That Eddie Haskell comment has me HOWLING!!!

Ireneparalegal · 08-22-2007, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madame X

Beaver: Gee, Dad. I didn't know it was loaded.

Wally: Let's drive by Mary Ellen Rogers' house one more time. If her light is on, we can score some stuff.

June: It's girls' night out. Sorry, fellas.

Ward: When I was a boy I read Hustler, but here Beav, you can read Ivanhoe.

Eddie: Good morning, Mrs. Cleaver. Did you get any last night?

Larry: Gosh, no. I didn't eat that!

Lumpy: My Daddy can kick your Mommy's butt!

TOUCHE!!!!!

June finding nudie magazines in Ward's drawer.

June and her lady friends protesting the way women are treated by their husbands.

Wally enlisting in the Army.

Beaver wanting to be home-schooled.

Mikado · 08-22-2007, 01:23 AM

Wally: "See Beav' its called Playboy, and Dad keeps it in the cupboard in his workshop!"

Beaver: "Mom? Isnt Gramma dead?"
June: "Why yes Beaver, why do you ask?"
Beaver: "Cause I heard Dad say to Mr Rutheford that he was trying to "avoid his "old lady" for a few hours!" "

Ward: "Hey Fred..........what do you think of wife-swapping?"

Waterston_Fan · 08-22-2007, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Glad to have made you laugh. I am sorry for that mishap!

Here are more:

Ward: "June, will you get out of that damn dress and take off those pearls. Who are you trying to impress???"

June: "Ward, it be real nice if you could wear some nice short shorts around the house for a change."

Eddie mowing the lawn for free.

Wally NOT saying "Gee".

My mom's friend and his co worker are going to fix it and it sounds like they will pay for it... But then again, they SHOULD pay for it... it did give me a fan fiction idea though...

On to what we were talking about...

Ward: Oh ****, June!! Why did you do that!!

June: Beaver, here is one of my 50 year old friend who has fallen in love with you.

Ireneparalegal · 08-27-2007, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waterston_Fan

My mom's friend and his co worker are going to fix it and it sounds like they will pay for it... But then again, they SHOULD pay for it... it did give me a fan fiction idea though...

On to what we were talking about...

Ward: Oh ****, June!! Why did you do that!!

June: Beaver, here is one of my 50 year old friend who has fallen in love with you.

I just seen your thread regarding fan fiction.

Torgo · 08-28-2007, 11:13 AM

Larry: "Sorry, Beav, can't come inside for snacks, I'm on a diet."

Beaver: "Wow, that Judy Hensler is looking good."

Larry: "Hey, Beav, you want to try your dad's new pipe? We could use coffee grounds."
Beaver: "Nah, let's just use this green stuff in a baggy I found under my brother's mattress."

Beaver: "Mom, look what I traded my brand new catcher's mit for. It's Angela Valentine's sixth toe."

Beaver: "What ever happened to the puppy you got me to replace Captain Jack?"
June: "We told you, he ran away. Now eat your pork chops."
Wally: "This is pork?"

08-20-2007, 01:46 AM	#1
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	Things you will never see/hear on Leave It To Beaver June NOT wearing her pearls, wearing jeans and her hair up in curlers. Ward wearing shorts and a white t-shirt and walking around barefoot. Wally: "Hey Beav, I don't think I will call you Beav anymore." Beaver: "Let me mop the kitchen floor for you mom." Eddie Haskell:"Mrs. Cleaver, I now go to church and attend counseling...you will now see a better Eddie from now on...and that is NO LIE."
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

08-20-2007, 08:27 AM	#3
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,382	^ Irene and Mikey, you guys are hilarious!! Eddie becoming a monk and taking a vow of silence. June: "Ward, fix your OWN dinner! I am not your maid!" Wally shaving his head, getting a few tattoos and body piercings. Ward telling Mr. Rutherford what he REALLY thinks of him. Lumpy stops calling his dad "Daddy". June gives up being a housewife and becomes an exotic dancer. Beaver beating up on Eddie for tormenting him all those years. Ward giving up the family station wagon to buy himself a Harley. Beaver joins a punk band.
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

08-20-2007, 04:13 AM	#2
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,886	June: "Ward, get out the belt, its WHOOPING time!" Eddie: "Hi Mrs Cleaver, you're an amazingly gullible old bag.....and your dress looks like an old potato sack!" Beaver: "Gee Wally, what's that you got there?" Wally: "Cripes Beav', haven't you ever seen "goofballs" and "refers" before? " Wally: "Hey Eddie, there's something I've been meaning to tell you...." Eddie: " What's that, Wally?" Wally: " Well........for some time now.........I've been thinking of you as..umm....more than a friend....(pauses)" June: "Ward, i hate being stuck in the house all the time...I WANT A DIVORCE, dammit!!!"

08-20-2007, 11:21 AM	#4
Waterston_Fan Eternal Member Eternal Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 26, 2005 Location: Southern California Posts: 3,195	Oh, that was great!!! Ward: "June, lets go upstairs and um... get naked!!" June: "Ward, stop ringing the damn doorbell and just get your ass inside!! I am not your mother!!!" Beaver: "Wally, I hate you!" Wally: "Mom, I want to get you on my bed".

08-20-2007, 04:48 PM	#5
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,886	Ward: " Beaver, i'm very disappointed in you for setting the church on fire and, i'm afraid that this time.....I'm gonna have to beat the CRAP out of you!!!!" Beaver: "Gee Larry, it just dawned on me, what a fat tub of goo you are!" Ward ( to Jim Rutheford ): " You know, I'm really sick and tired of hearing about how "perfect" your kids are, frankly, the only thing more moronic than your brats, is YOU!" June: " Ward, can you get me a beer?" June: " Ward, have you seen my best red lace lingerie and garter, its not in the drawer where I usually..............................OMG, WARD!!!!!!!!!!!"

08-20-2007, 04:54 PM	#6
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	Whoa, these are really getting "R" rated. BUT I LOVE IT!!!!!! Ward to June: "Baby got back!!!!!! Bring your pretty self over here." Wally: "Dad, mom, I want to quit school. I am going to live life as a beatnik." Beaver: "Don't call me Beaver anymore...you know what the kids are telling me!!!????" Eddie: "Mrs. Cleaver, can I help you do your hair today?"

08-21-2007, 10:51 PM	#9
Madame X Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 15, 2006 Location: Oregon Posts: 1,831	Beaver: Gee, Dad. I didn't know it was loaded. Wally: Let's drive by Mary Ellen Rogers' house one more time. If her light is on, we can score some stuff. June: It's girls' night out. Sorry, fellas. Ward: When I was a boy I read Hustler, but here Beav, you can read Ivanhoe. Eddie: Good morning, Mrs. Cleaver. Did you get any last night? Larry: Gosh, no. I didn't eat that! Lumpy: My Daddy can kick your Mommy's butt!

08-22-2007, 01:23 AM	#12
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,886	Wally: "See Beav' its called Playboy, and Dad keeps it in the cupboard in his workshop!" Beaver: "Mom? Isnt Gramma dead?" June: "Why yes Beaver, why do you ask?" Beaver: "Cause I heard Dad say to Mr Rutheford that he was trying to "avoid his "old lady" for a few hours!" " Ward: "Hey Fred..........what do you think of wife-swapping?"

08-28-2007, 11:13 AM	#15
Torgo Omaha & Fritz Forum Star Join Date: Mar 06, 2004 Location: Oregon Posts: 19,033	Larry: "Sorry, Beav, can't come inside for snacks, I'm on a diet." Beaver: "Wow, that Judy Hensler is looking good." Larry: "Hey, Beav, you want to try your dad's new pipe? We could use coffee grounds." Beaver: "Nah, let's just use this green stuff in a baggy I found under my brother's mattress." Beaver: "Mom, look what I traded my brand new catcher's mit for. It's Angela Valentine's sixth toe." Beaver: "What ever happened to the puppy you got me to replace Captain Jack?" June: "We told you, he ran away. Now eat your pork chops." Wally: "This is pork?"