'The Scar in the Life' (A New Fan Fiction) Please Read!! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

BlairW_4 · 02-10-2001, 08:52 PM

((The Kitchen))
MG: (Making dinner) Let's see. We need 2 eggs, 3 tablespoons of sugar...
(Jo comes in)
J: (Yells) Argh!!
MG: (Jumps in shock from Jo's yell and then turns around to face her) Jo what is it??
J: My bike!! That's what it is!!
MG: Well what about your bike??
J: It won't start up! I tried everything Mrs. G!! I don't understand what's going on!
(Blair walks in interrupting)
B: Maybe there's no gas?
J: (Picks head up) Blair!! Your a genius! (Smiles and runs to her) Your an absolute genius!!! (Runs out of the room)
B: I know.
MG: (Laughs)
B: Oh, Mrs. Garett guess what??
MG: What is it?
B: I, once again, picked up ANOTHER date!!
MG: Blair..don't you think your dating a little too much?
B: (Innocently) No...
MG: (Smiles) Well who is he?
B: Well I met him at the Muesuem yesterday. We automatically fell in love!
MG: Blair..love is a big word.
B: I know Mrs. Garett. You say that every time I say I love someone!
MG: Well love is a word with quite a big meaning. And you keep saying it whenever you get a date!
B: Well this time Mrs. Garett it is real love.
MG: Well what's his name??
B: Sean. He is sooo poetic! He said my eyes sparkled like the moon rays after dusk!
MG: (Laughs) Well he does sound pretty attractive.
B: He is gonna pick me up tonight and we are going back to the Musuem. We still didn't get to see all the art exhibits.
MG: Well what time is he picking you up??
B: Eight. After we go to the museum we will go to this fancy diner.
MG: Ooo sounds romantic.
B: (Sighs) Mrs. Garett..I don't think I've ever met a guy like Sean!! (Leaves)
MG: (Laughs and shakes her head, continuing on making diner)

Guys sorry I gotta go!

02-10-2001, 11:54 PM

it sounds pretty good so far. can't wait to read the rest!!!!!

BlairW_4 · 02-11-2001, 02:31 PM

((The living room))
(Blair comes downstairs in a black dress with a gold belt)
B: How do I look Mrs. Garett??
MG: (Turns around to see) Oh Blair! You look gorgeous!
B: I know..I HAVE to look my best for Sean tonight.
MG: Well it looks like you already do!!
B: I can't wait to go to the musuem!!
J: (Comes in interrupting) Who would wanna go to the musesum for a date?
B: A normal, civilized person! UNLIKE you.
(Tootie comes downstairs)
T: Wow! Blair! You look great!
B: (Smiles) Oh, thank you.
T: Who are you on a date with this time?
B: Oh..this guy I met named Sean. He is PERFECT. He should be here in a few minutes though.
(Natalie comes downtstairs)
N: Hey everyone.
MG: Hi Natalie, what are you up to?
N: I just got finished studying for a Social Studies exam. That Abe Lincholn sure looks action!!
MG: (Laughs)
(Someone knocks on the door)
B: (Runs to it and opens it) Sean!!
S: Blair! Your eyes sure are pretty. They're like the moon rays in the midnight sky.
MG: Wow! He is attractive after all!
B: Sean, meet Mrs. Garett, Natalie, Tootie, and Jo.
S: Nice to meet you.
MG: My pleasure.
S: Well Blair shall we be going?
B: Yes, we shall!!
(Sean and Blair leave and shut the door behind them)
((Sean's car))
B: Um...Sean I think you took a wrong turn.
S: Wrong turn? Nahhh..
B: But the musem is that way.
S: Oh I know...we aren't going to the musem. I changed my mine. We are going somewhere far better.
B: What? Where??
S: MY house.
B: Your house?? But...what could we possibly do there??
S: Oh don't worry...far more things than you can imagine. (Smiles)
B: (Gulps)

Sorry guys -- I gotta go!

Lil_miss_goodwrench_518 · 02-11-2001, 05:42 PM

great!!

BlairW_4 · 02-11-2001, 05:58 PM

((the hospital. Blair was found in the house when Sean's parents came home, and Mrs. Garett and the girls are in the waiting room))
T: Mrs. Garett will Blair be alright?
MG: Yes she will be fine...
J: You think.
(A nurse comes out)
Nu: We are excepting visitors.
MG: I will go in!! (Goes in)
(Blairs room)
MG: Blair?
B: Mrs. Garett?
MG: How are you feeling?
B: On the outside fine..but inside hurt.
MG: Oh, hunny...
B: I cant belive Sean did that to me!!! I trusted him!!
MG: I told you love was too much for you. BUt..I thought he was charming...
B: I did to. Mrs. Garett I cant belive this happened!!! This is like...a...a...a scar in my life.............

(The camera freezes on Mrs. Garett and Blair hugging)

THE END

TVaddict · 02-11-2001, 06:08 PM

Ok, I'm going to give you constructive criticism here, I hope you take it well because it's not meant to be mean-spirited at all. Here goes: I think you have a lot of great ideas, but I really think you're rushing to finish everything. It's like they're all set-up and no story. If you spent more time on this it would be great, but as it is, we don't know exactly what happened to Blair, we don't really know whether or not she is emotionally damaged after what she went through, and we don't even know how long everyone was worried about her or anything. It was a great idea and a great set-up, but I think you just need to write more. I really hope that you aren't taking this bad, because I'm only trying to help you because I think these could be much better. Sorry if I sound like an english teacher or something.

NancyJoJinny · 03-06-2001, 05:04 PM

I liked it, it was a little rushed but good. I cringed at the Sean part, because theres this guy i despise named Sean but anyway...it was good

02-10-2001, 08:52 PM	#1
BlairW_4 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Jan 27, 2001 Posts: 252	'The Scar in the Life' (A New Fan Fiction) Please Read!! ((The Kitchen)) MG: (Making dinner) Let's see. We need 2 eggs, 3 tablespoons of sugar... (Jo comes in) J: (Yells) Argh!! MG: (Jumps in shock from Jo's yell and then turns around to face her) Jo what is it?? J: My bike!! That's what it is!! MG: Well what about your bike?? J: It won't start up! I tried everything Mrs. G!! I don't understand what's going on! (Blair walks in interrupting) B: Maybe there's no gas? J: (Picks head up) Blair!! Your a genius! (Smiles and runs to her) Your an absolute genius!!! (Runs out of the room) B: I know. MG: (Laughs) B: Oh, Mrs. Garett guess what?? MG: What is it? B: I, once again, picked up ANOTHER date!! MG: Blair..don't you think your dating a little too much? B: (Innocently) No... MG: (Smiles) Well who is he? B: Well I met him at the Muesuem yesterday. We automatically fell in love! MG: Blair..love is a big word. B: I know Mrs. Garett. You say that every time I say I love someone! MG: Well love is a word with quite a big meaning. And you keep saying it whenever you get a date! B: Well this time Mrs. Garett it is real love. MG: Well what's his name?? B: Sean. He is sooo poetic! He said my eyes sparkled like the moon rays after dusk! MG: (Laughs) Well he does sound pretty attractive. B: He is gonna pick me up tonight and we are going back to the Musuem. We still didn't get to see all the art exhibits. MG: Well what time is he picking you up?? B: Eight. After we go to the museum we will go to this fancy diner. MG: Ooo sounds romantic. B: (Sighs) Mrs. Garett..I don't think I've ever met a guy like Sean!! (Leaves) MG: (Laughs and shakes her head, continuing on making diner) Guys sorry I gotta go!

02-10-2001, 11:54 PM	#2
ILuvJo&Blair Guest Posts: n/a	it sounds pretty good so far. can't wait to read the rest!!!!!
ILuvJo&Blair Guest Posts: n/a

02-11-2001, 02:31 PM	#3
BlairW_4 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Jan 27, 2001 Posts: 252	((The living room)) (Blair comes downstairs in a black dress with a gold belt) B: How do I look Mrs. Garett?? MG: (Turns around to see) Oh Blair! You look gorgeous! B: I know..I HAVE to look my best for Sean tonight. MG: Well it looks like you already do!! B: I can't wait to go to the musuem!! J: (Comes in interrupting) Who would wanna go to the musesum for a date? B: A normal, civilized person! UNLIKE you. (Tootie comes downstairs) T: Wow! Blair! You look great! B: (Smiles) Oh, thank you. T: Who are you on a date with this time? B: Oh..this guy I met named Sean. He is PERFECT. He should be here in a few minutes though. (Natalie comes downtstairs) N: Hey everyone. MG: Hi Natalie, what are you up to? N: I just got finished studying for a Social Studies exam. That Abe Lincholn sure looks action!! MG: (Laughs) (Someone knocks on the door) B: (Runs to it and opens it) Sean!! S: Blair! Your eyes sure are pretty. They're like the moon rays in the midnight sky. MG: Wow! He is attractive after all! B: Sean, meet Mrs. Garett, Natalie, Tootie, and Jo. S: Nice to meet you. MG: My pleasure. S: Well Blair shall we be going? B: Yes, we shall!! (Sean and Blair leave and shut the door behind them) ((Sean's car)) B: Um...Sean I think you took a wrong turn. S: Wrong turn? Nahhh.. B: But the musem is that way. S: Oh I know...we aren't going to the musem. I changed my mine. We are going somewhere far better. B: What? Where?? S: MY house. B: Your house?? But...what could we possibly do there?? S: Oh don't worry...far more things than you can imagine. (Smiles) B: (Gulps) Sorry guys -- I gotta go!

02-11-2001, 05:42 PM	#4
Lil_miss_goodwrench_518 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Location: MA Posts: 174	great!!

02-11-2001, 05:58 PM	#5
BlairW_4 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Jan 27, 2001 Posts: 252	((the hospital. Blair was found in the house when Sean's parents came home, and Mrs. Garett and the girls are in the waiting room)) T: Mrs. Garett will Blair be alright? MG: Yes she will be fine... J: You think. (A nurse comes out) Nu: We are excepting visitors. MG: I will go in!! (Goes in) (Blairs room) MG: Blair? B: Mrs. Garett? MG: How are you feeling? B: On the outside fine..but inside hurt. MG: Oh, hunny... B: I cant belive Sean did that to me!!! I trusted him!! MG: I told you love was too much for you. BUt..I thought he was charming... B: I did to. Mrs. Garett I cant belive this happened!!! This is like...a...a...a scar in my life............. (The camera freezes on Mrs. Garett and Blair hugging) THE END

02-11-2001, 06:08 PM	#6
TVaddict Member Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 30, 2000 Location: NH Posts: 562	Ok, I'm going to give you constructive criticism here, I hope you take it well because it's not meant to be mean-spirited at all. Here goes: I think you have a lot of great ideas, but I really think you're rushing to finish everything. It's like they're all set-up and no story. If you spent more time on this it would be great, but as it is, we don't know exactly what happened to Blair, we don't really know whether or not she is emotionally damaged after what she went through, and we don't even know how long everyone was worried about her or anything. It was a great idea and a great set-up, but I think you just need to write more. I really hope that you aren't taking this bad, because I'm only trying to help you because I think these could be much better. Sorry if I sound like an english teacher or something.

03-06-2001, 05:04 PM	#7
NancyJoJinny Member Forum Regular Join Date: Mar 04, 2001 Location: Nancy Land, NJ. Posts: 989	I liked it, it was a little rushed but good. I cringed at the Sean part, because theres this guy i despise named Sean but anyway...it was good