Ready For Marriage - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

80s_Fan · 07-24-2007, 05:33 PM

I've been with my boyfriend for over 12 yrs. now and I'm ready to marry him.
I've been ready for quite some time now but he's not and it bothers me.
I had proposed to him about 5 yrs. ago; can't remember exactly and at first he couldn't answer me but after thinking about it; he told me (no) and of course I was hurt but accepted it.

Now, even today; we discuss it but he's still not ready to make the committment and I'm not sure what I should do about it. We both love each other very much and still get along great, etc....

Everybody like family, friends, co-workers ask so what are you waiting for?
I'm ready but he's not. Should I continue to wait and hope that he will change his mind or should I end it and look for someone else?

Is anybody out there in the same boat as me and/or has been there?
What did you do about it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!!

Kazza · 07-24-2007, 05:42 PM

You would have to go back to square one and settle for what you both have accomplished in this 12 years, if you can't find 'inner peace' and learn to live that way then you should move on.
But it takes me to think that 12 years is quite a long time and sometimes it is not necessary to put in paper what you both already know.

Janice · 07-24-2007, 06:31 PM

It's how you feel that counts. Your profile states that you're 38 years old. I don't know if you have children or want children, but that could weigh in your decision to stay, or not. I tend to think that after 12 years, he's not going to change his mind. Personally, if I wanted marriage, I couldn't stay with a man who wouldn't marry me...but that's me. Some people are fine in an unmarried state of bliss.

coffield3 · 07-24-2007, 06:41 PM

I think that if it is really bothering you then sort something out, sit him down and explain how you feel maybe if he knew you feel so strongly about getting married, then he would do it for you because he loves you.
I dont think i could stay with a guy that wouldnt marry me, fine some people stay together for years and years and dont get married but they both want that.
I hope you sort things out.

Mikado · 07-24-2007, 09:47 PM

Is marriage important to you, if so, tell him how you feel and that you arent ready to wait any longer. If he says he wont marry you, you should look elsewhere, because, if he isnt ready after 12 years of being with you, then he NEVER will be! However, if youre ready to settle for half a relationship, then stay with him, and make it work as best as you can. ( Look into your heart, what do you REALLY want? )

dawsongirl · 07-25-2007, 02:41 AM

I don't see anything wrong with staying unmarried. A piece of paper isn't going to make you any happier. And to throw away a good relationship over that is foolish, IMO.

07-24-2007, 05:33 PM	#1
80s_Fan Healthcare_Clerk Senior Member Join Date: May 26, 2004 Location: Montreal, Canada Posts: 1,697	Ready For Marriage I've been with my boyfriend for over 12 yrs. now and I'm ready to marry him. I've been ready for quite some time now but he's not and it bothers me. I had proposed to him about 5 yrs. ago; can't remember exactly and at first he couldn't answer me but after thinking about it; he told me (no) and of course I was hurt but accepted it. Now, even today; we discuss it but he's still not ready to make the committment and I'm not sure what I should do about it. We both love each other very much and still get along great, etc.... Everybody like family, friends, co-workers ask so what are you waiting for? I'm ready but he's not. Should I continue to wait and hope that he will change his mind or should I end it and look for someone else? Is anybody out there in the same boat as me and/or has been there? What did you do about it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!

07-24-2007, 06:41 PM	#4
coffield3 <3 Forum Veteran Join Date: Jul 23, 2006 Location: England Posts: 7,379	I think that if it is really bothering you then sort something out, sit him down and explain how you feel maybe if he knew you feel so strongly about getting married, then he would do it for you because he loves you. I dont think i could stay with a guy that wouldnt marry me, fine some people stay together for years and years and dont get married but they both want that. I hope you sort things out.
	__________________ Roseanne Fan!! ღღღ

07-24-2007, 05:42 PM	#2
Kazza Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 17, 2003 Posts: 3,244	You would have to go back to square one and settle for what you both have accomplished in this 12 years, if you can't find 'inner peace' and learn to live that way then you should move on. But it takes me to think that 12 years is quite a long time and sometimes it is not necessary to put in paper what you both already know.

07-24-2007, 06:31 PM	#3
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	It's how you feel that counts. Your profile states that you're 38 years old. I don't know if you have children or want children, but that could weigh in your decision to stay, or not. I tend to think that after 12 years, he's not going to change his mind. Personally, if I wanted marriage, I couldn't stay with a man who wouldn't marry me...but that's me. Some people are fine in an unmarried state of bliss.

07-24-2007, 09:47 PM	#5
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,892	Is marriage important to you, if so, tell him how you feel and that you arent ready to wait any longer. If he says he wont marry you, you should look elsewhere, because, if he isnt ready after 12 years of being with you, then he NEVER will be! However, if youre ready to settle for half a relationship, then stay with him, and make it work as best as you can. ( Look into your heart, what do you REALLY want? )

07-25-2007, 02:41 AM	#6
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I don't see anything wrong with staying unmarried. A piece of paper isn't going to make you any happier. And to throw away a good relationship over that is foolish, IMO.