Tuesday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 06-26-2007, 12:23 PM

"A Promotion Part 1":

(Ralph has just told Alice not to tell the Nortons about his promotion, but unbeknownst to Ralph, she did.)

Ralph: "I have been promoted. I am now an executive."

Ed: "What a surprise."

(Ed tries to act like he's surprised.)

Ralph (to Alice): "So you told him, huh?"

"Two-Family Car":

(Alice cleans the fire escape and the mop fell off the rod. It landed on Ralph.)

Alice: "I see that you found my mop."

Ralph: "What this? This one of those new Italian haircuts."

"Be It Ever So Humble":

(Ralph is ready to paint the Norton's apartment.)

Ed: "I want the walls to be brown. Not as dark as a hazel-nut brown. Not as brown as morbid milk brown. There's a certain way that the sun at Coney Island has a way of striking the a hot dog's mustard which reflects off the hot dog through the sauerkraut. That's the kind of brown that I want."

Ralph: "What about the moldings and window frames?"

Ed: "I sort of visualize them as a misty gray. Did you see that technicolor movie with Ricardo Cortez? I want the grey from his eyes. Not the iris part of his eyes, but the cornea."

Ralph: "That kind of grey huh? What about the door?"

Ed: "The door I haven't really thought to much about."

Ralph: "I think it should be something neutral so it doesn't clash with anything."

Ed: "Good thinking. It should be a delicate badge. Not a harsh badge, just a neutral delicate badge."

Ralph: "Let me see if I got all this right. You want the walls to be a brown like the sun striking through the mustard and saurkraut on a hot dog. You want the moldings and window frames to be the gray of Robert Cortez's eyes. Not the iris, but the cornea and you want the door to be a nice delicate badge."

Ed: "Yeah."

Ralph: "I'm painting the whole joint green."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

Ralph: "Pardon me sir. On the Jackie Gleason Show, who's funnier, Jackie Gleason or Art Carney?"

Man: "I can't say. I watch Flipper."

"Funny Money":

Ralph: "Money. I am a millionaire."

Ed: "There is enough in here to keep you in pizza for the rest of your life."

"The Bensonhurst Bomber":

Ralph: "Why did he say: 'Hey, get a load of fatso there.'?"

Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits."

"Pal O' Mine":

Ralph: "Butter on my finger?" (yells): "AT 89 CENTS A POUND."
(normally): "Would you stop throwing my money around? Is there any lard around here?"

Alice: "Yeah about 300 lbs. of it."

"Great Jewel Robbery":

Ralph: "In the race to get ahead, I am way out in front."

Ed: "Yes, you certainly are way out in front."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

(Ralph has every Raccoon believing that he knows Jackie Gleason and will get him to come to the Raccoon Dance.)

Ralph: "Do you remember the last time that the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler bought everybody a round of beer?"

Alice: "Yeah, the time that you told them that you knew Rudy Valee."

06-26-2007, 12:23 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,043	Tuesday's Quotes: "A Promotion Part 1": (Ralph has just told Alice not to tell the Nortons about his promotion, but unbeknownst to Ralph, she did.) Ralph: "I have been promoted. I am now an executive." Ed: "What a surprise." (Ed tries to act like he's surprised.) Ralph (to Alice): "So you told him, huh?" "Two-Family Car": (Alice cleans the fire escape and the mop fell off the rod. It landed on Ralph.) Alice: "I see that you found my mop." Ralph: "What this? This one of those new Italian haircuts." "Be It Ever So Humble": (Ralph is ready to paint the Norton's apartment.) Ed: "I want the walls to be brown. Not as dark as a hazel-nut brown. Not as brown as morbid milk brown. There's a certain way that the sun at Coney Island has a way of striking the a hot dog's mustard which reflects off the hot dog through the sauerkraut. That's the kind of brown that I want." Ralph: "What about the moldings and window frames?" Ed: "I sort of visualize them as a misty gray. Did you see that technicolor movie with Ricardo Cortez? I want the grey from his eyes. Not the iris part of his eyes, but the cornea." Ralph: "That kind of grey huh? What about the door?" Ed: "The door I haven't really thought to much about." Ralph: "I think it should be something neutral so it doesn't clash with anything." Ed: "Good thinking. It should be a delicate badge. Not a harsh badge, just a neutral delicate badge." Ralph: "Let me see if I got all this right. You want the walls to be a brown like the sun striking through the mustard and saurkraut on a hot dog. You want the moldings and window frames to be the gray of Robert Cortez's eyes. Not the iris, but the cornea and you want the door to be a nice delicate badge." Ed: "Yeah." Ralph: "I'm painting the whole joint green." "Ralph Kramden Presents": Ralph: "Pardon me sir. On the Jackie Gleason Show, who's funnier, Jackie Gleason or Art Carney?" Man: "I can't say. I watch Flipper." "Funny Money": Ralph: "Money. I am a millionaire." Ed: "There is enough in here to keep you in pizza for the rest of your life." "The Bensonhurst Bomber": Ralph: "Why did he say: 'Hey, get a load of fatso there.'?" Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits." "Pal O' Mine": Ralph: "Butter on my finger?" (yells): "AT 89 CENTS A POUND." (normally): "Would you stop throwing my money around? Is there any lard around here?" Alice: "Yeah about 300 lbs. of it." "Great Jewel Robbery": Ralph: "In the race to get ahead, I am way out in front." Ed: "Yes, you certainly are way out in front." "Ralph Kramden Presents": (Ralph has every Raccoon believing that he knows Jackie Gleason and will get him to come to the Raccoon Dance.) Ralph: "Do you remember the last time that the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler bought everybody a round of beer?" Alice: "Yeah, the time that you told them that you knew Rudy Valee."