Things youd never see or hear on "Cheers" - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Mikado · 06-23-2007, 01:38 PM

I think everyone knows how to play this game, so, i'll just start with a few, to get things going

Sam: Diane is right, sports are stupid, from now on, the only thing we watch in the bar is ballet, and PBS!

Diane: This is the job I was born to do...writer's are such stuffy phonies, I hate them all!

Cliff: There are many theories on how the Earth was formed.....however, I really dont know much about it, so, Ill just shut up.

Carla: Oh Cliff, that uniform makes me so hot!

Frasier: Freud was full of it......he was an even bigger quack than my teacher, that pretentious blowhard, Dr. Benett Ludlow!!!

AB · 06-23-2007, 02:54 PM

Norm - "I'll have a diet soda, beer makes me sick."

Norm - "Let me settle up my bar tab."

Mikado · 06-23-2007, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by annball1957

Norm - "I'll have a diet soda, beer makes me sick."

Norm - "Let me settle up my bar tab."

I really like the second one

Ireneparalegal · 06-23-2007, 10:13 PM

Cliff NOT wearing his postal uniform.

Sam being faithful to any woman.

Rebecca giving it up to Sam immediately.

Woody NOT saying something stupid.

Carla being kind and sweet.

Guy Bramsworth · 06-26-2007, 09:01 PM

Opening of show: Cheers is filmed before a live communist regime.

Norm: GET ME A FARKING BEER YOU LOUSY BARKEEP!!!

Norm: *godzilla roar*

Cliff: It's a little known fact that every stool in this bar carries the bacteria off the fat asses of the many customers who smother it in their warm farts everyday. *Everyone backs away from Norm*

*Norm walks in the bar*
Bar: Godzilla! we must run!

Cliff: Many people don't know that wo dong zhongwen.
Norm: Nani ittendayo omae (learned Japanese after attacking Japan so much)

Sam: I'm gay.

Woody: My parents named me after they accidently crushed viagra into my milk as a baby.

Carla: Hey Sam can I get off early, they need me at the tree to discuss a new cookie recipe.

Diane: I used to have tits but Sam sucked em dry.

Sam: I'm actually a bald arab guy who got plastic surgery to escape his country.

Diane: I'm so sorry to hear about the Coach, Sam.
Sam: Yeah well, we've asked the DPRK consulate many times but they insist he just must have "gotten lost."

Frasier: I lied before, my father is alive and I have a brother named Niles. I was just ashamed to acknowledge their existance because they're both raging gay.

Frasier: Darnest thing, I can't seem to find out what to do with these tossed salad and scrambled eggs Lilith cooked me for dinner. Oh well, only time will tell...

Sam: Hey Fras, ever realise if you take out the F and second R in "Fredrick" his name is Redick?
Frasier: That ones on Lilith's part, she thought it would make me proud...

Sam: Sorry guys, looks like we're out of beer for the day.
Norm: DAMNIT I'LL TAKE YOU FOR EVERY PENNY YOU'VE GOT SAM MALONE. NOW FILL ME FARKING GLASS UP OR ITS GONNA BE HELL TO PAY (Fins on back start lighting up)

Rebecca: Argsdihoen dfksnioshcxlnspojres gdflgsdghuibsdaspjhioehr
Cliff: Uh, Sam, I think it's hungry again...
*Sam unloads bucket of slop into back room/throne of the new slug queen*

Frasier: I had a great time in Japan. Look what I did to bag myself a chick: http://68.12.96.42:81/data/zomgwtf/med_1139979353-3.jpg
Sam: Laughing my ass off.
Woody: That was you Dr Crane?!
..................

Woody: I finally proved to Kelly last night where my name comes from. OH YAA!!

Mikado · 06-26-2007, 10:36 PM

OMG

Mikado · 06-26-2007, 10:38 PM

Youd never see :
Norm in a booth, without a beer
Carla getting huge tips
Harry the Hat buying the gang a round, on HIM
Sam ignoring the women in the bar to watch "NOVA"
and Cliff making fun of the Post Office

catlover79 · 06-26-2007, 11:23 PM

Norm walks into the bar - and no one yells out his name.

Carla using birth control (didn't she have 8 or 9 kids??

).

Sam and Diane going through an entire episode without arguing.

Woody getting his Master's and becoming a rocket scientist.

Norm's wife!!!

Ireneparalegal · 06-26-2007, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover79

Norm walks into the bar - and no one yells out his name.

Carla using birth control (didn't she have 8 or 9 kids??

).

Sam and Diane going through an entire episode without arguing.

Woody getting his Master's and becoming a rocket scientist.

Norm's wife!!!

Norm's wife...TOUCHE!!!!!

Mikado · 06-27-2007, 02:00 PM

-Sam dating a woman his own age
-Cliff dating anyone (with one exception)
-Paul doing aerobics
-Rebecca NOT feeling sorry for herself
-Woody going more than 4 shows without a reference to one of his relatives losing a body part in farm machinery
-Carla going more than 5 minutes without insulting Cliff

BensonFan · 06-27-2007, 08:21 PM

Norm: "No beer for me, Sammy. I gave it up for lent."

Ireneparalegal · 06-27-2007, 10:31 PM

Gary from Gary's Old Towne Tavern: "Sam, you and Cheers are the best. You make the best drinks in town."

Carla: "I had a hysterectomy."

Diane: "Let's just live together Sam."

Rebecca: "Sam, I have so desired you from day one."

Mikado · 06-28-2007, 02:48 AM

hehehehe

Guy Bramsworth · 06-29-2007, 01:18 AM

Sam: This bar didn't used to be Cheers, you know. Once I bought it I just took out the QU and put CH.

Coach: How's life treating you Norm?
Norm: Like I'm the creator of things living and inanimate. I see my earth, and it is good.

Cliff: Hey, Norm, What's up?
Norm: Woody.
Woody: Yeah?
*everyone snickers*
Woody: I don't get it...

Sam: [watches Diane leave for the last time] What an ass.

Woody: What's a Freudian Slip?
Cliff: It's a quite spicy under garment one can buy at a Psychologist themed sex shop.

*Lillith Walks in*
Carla: Oh my god, it's a ghost!
Lillith: Ha ha.
Carla: No, I mean it! Cheers is haunted!
*Ghostbusters in Boston logo comes up*

Coach: My friends call me "Coach", but my other nickname is Red.
Customer: Why? Because your hair used to be red?
Coach: Yeah a certain portion of it. It was a Valentine's present to my wife...

Coach: How you doing, Norm?
Norm: Coach, I'm on top of the world
Coach: No wonder it stinks to high heaven.

Sam: Woody, next time you order beer, be more specific than "just a small drop, for we do not need much here at our establishment."

Sam: [regarding Norm's bar tab] You know, Norm, you've been coming in here a long time. Look at the first entry, "Monster in Sea of Japan".

Frasier Crane: Hello in there, Cliff. Tell me, what color is the sky in your world? .....Because I want to be part of it. Here's my application for the USPS.

Norm: It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm applying for Korean citizenship.

Cliff: It's a little know fact that 42% of deaths in America are caused by accidents in the home.
Carla: So were you.
*Cliff slowly takes a knife out of back pocket*
Cliff: Well looks like I'm about to add to that PERCENT.....this bar is my home you see.......!

Sam: *hits head* D'oh!

tiff7 · 06-29-2007, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ireneparalegal

Norm's wife...TOUCHE!!!!!

I know! Vera is only in 1 episode! just like Maris on Frasier (Nile's 1st wife)

06-23-2007, 01:38 PM	#1
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,886	Things youd never see or hear on "Cheers" I think everyone knows how to play this game, so, i'll just start with a few, to get things going Sam: Diane is right, sports are stupid, from now on, the only thing we watch in the bar is ballet, and PBS! Diane: This is the job I was born to do...writer's are such stuffy phonies, I hate them all! Cliff: There are many theories on how the Earth was formed.....however, I really dont know much about it, so, Ill just shut up. Carla: Oh Cliff, that uniform makes me so hot! Frasier: Freud was full of it......he was an even bigger quack than my teacher, that pretentious blowhard, Dr. Benett Ludlow!!!

06-23-2007, 10:13 PM	#4
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	Cliff NOT wearing his postal uniform. Sam being faithful to any woman. Rebecca giving it up to Sam immediately. Woody NOT saying something stupid. Carla being kind and sweet.
	__________________ DALLAS COWBOYS ARE HERE AT TRAINING CAMP!!!

06-26-2007, 09:01 PM	#5
Guy Bramsworth Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Feb 20, 2004 Location: Hades Posts: 76	Opening of show: Cheers is filmed before a live communist regime. Norm: GET ME A FARKING BEER YOU LOUSY BARKEEP!!! Norm: godzilla roar Cliff: It's a little known fact that every stool in this bar carries the bacteria off the fat asses of the many customers who smother it in their warm farts everyday. Everyone backs away from Norm Norm walks in the bar Bar: Godzilla! we must run! Cliff: Many people don't know that wo dong zhongwen. Norm: Nani ittendayo omae (learned Japanese after attacking Japan so much) Sam: I'm gay. Woody: My parents named me after they accidently crushed viagra into my milk as a baby. Carla: Hey Sam can I get off early, they need me at the tree to discuss a new cookie recipe. Diane: I used to have tits but Sam sucked em dry. Sam: I'm actually a bald arab guy who got plastic surgery to escape his country. Diane: I'm so sorry to hear about the Coach, Sam. Sam: Yeah well, we've asked the DPRK consulate many times but they insist he just must have "gotten lost." Frasier: I lied before, my father is alive and I have a brother named Niles. I was just ashamed to acknowledge their existance because they're both raging gay. Frasier: Darnest thing, I can't seem to find out what to do with these tossed salad and scrambled eggs Lilith cooked me for dinner. Oh well, only time will tell... Sam: Hey Fras, ever realise if you take out the F and second R in "Fredrick" his name is Redick? Frasier: That ones on Lilith's part, she thought it would make me proud... Sam: Sorry guys, looks like we're out of beer for the day. Norm: DAMNIT I'LL TAKE YOU FOR EVERY PENNY YOU'VE GOT SAM MALONE. NOW FILL ME FARKING GLASS UP OR ITS GONNA BE HELL TO PAY (Fins on back start lighting up) Rebecca: Argsdihoen dfksnioshcxlnspojres gdflgsdghuibsdaspjhioehr Cliff: Uh, Sam, I think it's hungry again... Sam unloads bucket of slop into back room/throne of the new slug queen Frasier: I had a great time in Japan. Look what I did to bag myself a chick: http://68.12.96.42:81/data/zomgwtf/med_1139979353-3.jpg Sam: Laughing my ass off. Woody: That was you Dr Crane?! .................. Woody: I finally proved to Kelly last night where my name comes from. OH YAA!!
	__________________ I Guy. Bye.

06-26-2007, 11:23 PM	#8
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,382	Norm walks into the bar - and no one yells out his name. Carla using birth control (didn't she have 8 or 9 kids?? ). Sam and Diane going through an entire episode without arguing. Woody getting his Master's and becoming a rocket scientist. Norm's wife!!!
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

06-27-2007, 08:21 PM	#11
BensonFan Board Psychologist Senior Member Join Date: Mar 16, 2004 Location: Chicago, IL USA Posts: 2,733	Norm: "No beer for me, Sammy. I gave it up for lent."
	__________________ HEY, SONY: Thank you for Benson, Season 2! Now can we get started on Season 3 plans?

06-23-2007, 02:54 PM	#2
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	Norm - "I'll have a diet soda, beer makes me sick." Norm - "Let me settle up my bar tab."

06-26-2007, 10:36 PM	#6
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,886	OMG

06-26-2007, 10:38 PM	#7
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,886	Youd never see : Norm in a booth, without a beer Carla getting huge tips Harry the Hat buying the gang a round, on HIM Sam ignoring the women in the bar to watch "NOVA" and Cliff making fun of the Post Office

06-27-2007, 02:00 PM	#10
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,886	-Sam dating a woman his own age -Cliff dating anyone (with one exception) -Paul doing aerobics -Rebecca NOT feeling sorry for herself -Woody going more than 4 shows without a reference to one of his relatives losing a body part in farm machinery -Carla going more than 5 minutes without insulting Cliff

06-27-2007, 10:31 PM	#12
Ireneparalegal LEGAL SPICE ;) Forum Legend Join Date: Jul 25, 2005 Location: OXNARD, CA - WHERE THE DALLAS COWBOYS TRAIN & PRACTICE Posts: 38,691	Gary from Gary's Old Towne Tavern: "Sam, you and Cheers are the best. You make the best drinks in town." Carla: "I had a hysterectomy." Diane: "Let's just live together Sam." Rebecca: "Sam, I have so desired you from day one."

06-28-2007, 02:48 AM	#13
Mikado Main st bridge Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 06, 2005 Posts: 25,886	hehehehe

06-29-2007, 01:18 AM	#14
Guy Bramsworth Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Feb 20, 2004 Location: Hades Posts: 76	Sam: This bar didn't used to be Cheers, you know. Once I bought it I just took out the QU and put CH. Coach: How's life treating you Norm? Norm: Like I'm the creator of things living and inanimate. I see my earth, and it is good. Cliff: Hey, Norm, What's up? Norm: Woody. Woody: Yeah? everyone snickers Woody: I don't get it... Sam: [watches Diane leave for the last time] What an ass. Woody: What's a Freudian Slip? Cliff: It's a quite spicy under garment one can buy at a Psychologist themed sex shop. Lillith Walks in Carla: Oh my god, it's a ghost! Lillith: Ha ha. Carla: No, I mean it! Cheers is haunted! Ghostbusters in Boston logo comes up Coach: My friends call me "Coach", but my other nickname is Red. Customer: Why? Because your hair used to be red? Coach: Yeah a certain portion of it. It was a Valentine's present to my wife... Coach: How you doing, Norm? Norm: Coach, I'm on top of the world Coach: No wonder it stinks to high heaven. Sam: Woody, next time you order beer, be more specific than "just a small drop, for we do not need much here at our establishment." Sam: [regarding Norm's bar tab] You know, Norm, you've been coming in here a long time. Look at the first entry, "Monster in Sea of Japan". Frasier Crane: Hello in there, Cliff. Tell me, what color is the sky in your world? .....Because I want to be part of it. Here's my application for the USPS. Norm: It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm applying for Korean citizenship. Cliff: It's a little know fact that 42% of deaths in America are caused by accidents in the home. Carla: So were you. Cliff slowly takes a knife out of back pocket Cliff: Well looks like I'm about to add to that PERCENT.....this bar is my home you see.......! Sam: hits head D'oh!