Too Close for Comfort (fanfiction)

[Mustang Mimi 04]

This one is just sort of silly- but hopefully you get a laugh.

Scene: Girls bedroom
Blair is inside the room banging on the door.
Blair: Jo! Jo- let me out. The handle is stuck again!
Jo opens the door.
Jo: What’s wrong?
Blair: Its this handle- I thought you said you fixed it.
Jo: I did. (not wanting to admit that it might not be fixed) It must be you- (sacrastically) don’t know how to open a door?
Blair: Fine- I guess it was just my imagination.
Blair smiles and walks out of the room slamming the door behind her. She stands in the hall. Jo shrugs and then goes to open the door- the handle sticks.
Jo: Blair- ok Blair, I’ll change the handle. Blair common- I let you out. BLAIR!!!
Blair: Gee, Jo. Don’t you know how to open a door?
Jo: (realizing that she’s stuck til Blair opens the door) No I guess I don’t. Now open the door- alright, what do you want?
Blair: Well, will you fix the door?
Jo: Yes, I said I’ll change the handle.
Blair: Will you do it today?
Jo: Yes.
Blair: Will you do it now?
Jo: Yes, all I need is my screwdriver.
Blair: Will you fix it right this time?
Jo: YES!!! NOW OPEN THIS DOOR!
Blair: (revenge for the handcuffs incident) I don’t believe you.
Jo: Oh common Blair- neither of us will accomplish anything unless you open this door.
Blair gives it another few minutes, then finally opens the door.
Later
Jo is opening and closing the door.
Jo: There- fixed!
Blair comes in.
Blair: How did you fix it- this time?
Jo: Oh I just replaced this handle with one from a door we never open from the inside.
Blair: Well, thankyou. At least we won’t end up trapped in here. (Laughs) Can you imagine what it would be like if you were in here when I was and the door got stuck closed! What a nightmare.
Jo: Right- thank goodness that didn’t happen- stuck in a room....with YOU!
Later
Jo’s still walking around with the screwdriver she used to fix the door.
Blair: Why do you still have that out?
Jo: Oh I don’t know- just in a fixin’ mood I suppose.
Blair: Right- well I’m looking for this blanket. I think it’s in a box in the closet. Will you help me get it down?
Jo: Oh alright.
Jo puts down the screwdriver and both girls go over to the closet. Up high sits a box on the shelf. They reach up and both pull- but it won’t budge. They step into the closet and just as they get the box off the ledge the door closes behind them. It is now pitch black.
Jo: NO!
Blair: What’s wrong Jo? Afraid of the dark?
Jo: No...that’s not the problem.
The camera now just shows the door of the closet. We hear the handle trying to be turned. Click, click, click.
Blair: Jo...tell me this ISN’T the door we never open from the inside.
Jo: Well- what was I supposed to replace it with?
Blair: Great Jo, just great! (A moment passes) Wait- the screwdriver! You can open the door by removing the handle.
Jo: Actually...well... I kinda, sort of put it down.
Blair: You’ve been walking around with that for hours and you choose to put it down when you decide to lock us in here?!?!?!?
Jo: Listen Blair- I didn’t decide to do this. Believe me there are thousands of places I’d rather be than locked in a room with you. And of course I put it down- how am i supposed to pull a box down with a screwdriver in my hand?!?!
Blair: We’re not locked in a room- WE’RE IN A CLOSET!!! At least in our room we can see and be more than a foot away from each other! But I suppose to pull down the box you did need to put it down.
Jo: Well speaking of the box- what do we do with it now? It could be hours before we get out.
Blair: Oh please don’t say that. Well I can’t hold this thing any more.
Jo: Ugh- Blair you can’t let go!!!
Blair: Well my arms were going numb- I can’t keep my arms above my head. It’s not good for my circulation- we Warner’s have to be concerned with what’s not good for our bodies. But I suppose you manual laborers aren’t concerned with that type of thing.
Jo: Blair if I could only see you... (really struggling with the weight now) Well, I can’t hold this much longer.
Blair: So push it back on the shelf.
Jo: Ok I think its on.
CRASH!!!! BOOM!!!
Blair: OWWW! You did that on purpose!
Jo: Yes Blair. Its pitch black; I can’t see the shelf or you and I purposely set it up so that it would fall on you. Although if I could see you- it may have crossed my mind.
Blair: So you admit it! (Very dramatic) Oh a bump is forming- it’ll turn into a hematoma- I’ll die!!!
Jo: Oh shut up Blair!
Silence
Jo: Blair...
Silence
Jo: Blair?
Silence
Jo: You ok?
BOOM!
Jo: Ok there is a wall there.
Laughter
Jo: Don’t you laugh! Just wait til I find you- I’ll throw you into the wall!
Blair: Alright I’m sorry Jo. Well this is getting kinda boring. I have nothing to do. (A few minutes go by). (To the tune of 99 bottles of beer) 99 champagne glasses of Krug Clos du Mesnil on the wall, 99 champagne glasses of Krug Clos du Mesnil, you take one down, pass it around, 98 champagne glasses of Krug Clos du Mesnil on the wall.
Jo: Blair, what are you doing.
Blair: 98 champagne glasses of Krug Clos du Mesnil on the wall, 98 champagne glasses of Krug Clos du Mesnil, you take one down...
Jo: Blair, please stop.
Blair: pass it around,
Jo: BLAIR!!!
Blair: 97 champagne glasses of Krug Clos du Mesnil on the wall.
Jo: Blair, if you don’t stop I’ll use your head to bust down this door. Hey that’s not a bad idea!
Blair: I personally don’t think that’s such a good idea...
There is a lot of crashing around and moving in the closet.
Jo: Alright I guess trying to chase you in a dark closet is pointless. But maybe if we both run and hit the door then we can break it down.
Blair: Oh that sounds painful- alright if it’ll get us out of here.
Jo: Ok on three ready one...two...(three should be said here but isn’t)
POW!!!
We hear a moan and laughter.
Blair: Jo? I think I need to visit a hospital now. AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN HIT THE DOOR!!!
Jo: (between laughing) Oh but I didn’t say three.
Blair: You had better run...
More crashing around in the closet.
Jo: Alright alright alright. This time I’ll do it, I promise.
Blair: Well I’ll count. One...two...three
Natalie opens the door just as Blair and Jo come flying out. They both belly flop onto the ground. Jo moans but gets up. Blair doesn’t move.
Nat: Blair? You ok?
Blair: (in a young girl’s voice) Daddy? Can we go to the carnival now?
Jo: She’ll be fine. Thank god you came along. I couldn’t stand being in there with her another minute! Well, I’m starving. I think I’ll get myself a sandwich.
Blair: I think I’m going to go lay down for a while.
Jo walks into the kitchen and Blair goes upstairs. Natalie is left standing there alone. She looks into the closet then to the camera. She scratches her head.
Nat: I don’t even want to know.
THE END

------------------
Tootie: Can we sing?
Jo: Sing?
Tootie: That's what I do when I'm scared what do you do?
Jo: Slap people


Blair: A Warner is like a delicate soufle
Jo: Yeah light and empty


Nat: I'd rather be a happy magic marker than a skinny pencil

[TVaddict]

That was really cute. I'm glad I gave you the go-ahead because I liked it.

[JoFan]

Hey, I really liked it! I can totally see this happening!