Woman Named Butts Charged With Stealing Toilet Paper LOL - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Zoneboy · 06-11-2007, 06:04 PM

MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa - Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they're chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison.

"She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face."

Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said.

Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, Walker said.

Butts insisted it was the first time she'd pilfered toilet paper, but she declined to answer further questions on her attorney's advice.

The fifth-degree theft charge, a misdemeanor, normally carries a sentence of less than a year in jail. But Butts could face more time if convicted under the state's habitual offender law because she has prior theft convictions.

Walker did not know why Butts was at the courthouse, but said that she did not work there.

AB · 06-11-2007, 06:23 PM

That was pretty funny. But 3 years sounds a little harsh.

TripperFan · 06-11-2007, 06:40 PM

I hope they let her keep the toilet paper - three years, she's gonna need it.

catlover79 · 06-11-2007, 06:44 PM

Sounds like a Jay Leno headline!!

Lex Luthor · 06-11-2007, 06:53 PM

3 years in Prison and no toilet paper for you!

Frischman_Fan · 06-11-2007, 07:04 PM

I had a professor in college named Dr. Butt and although we were in college and had to be mature, we couldn't help but snicker whenever someone called out his name. But yea, 3 years...dang! Maybe she just HAD TO GO!!

catlover79 · 06-11-2007, 07:12 PM

Man, what kind of diet is this lady on???

Kay Scarpetta · 06-11-2007, 09:38 PM

I'm going to have to turn on Leno and O'Brien the next few nights. This should be hilarious...

Dynomite · 06-11-2007, 10:46 PM

Make her last name singular, but put dumb in front of it, because that would describe her for doing what she did, if you know what I mean.

EmoJoe · 06-11-2007, 11:00 PM

3 years in jail, though?!? O_O they probably wont carry out the max. sentence though.

Cactus Jack · 06-11-2007, 11:06 PM

LOL

3 years is odd though

PZelda · 06-12-2007, 01:13 AM

The sad thing is, the TP most likely isn't the best quality. Ya know, because there's an unspoken law that dictates that every public restroom in the universe has to have ****ty (no pun intended lol) 1- or 2-ply scratchy TP.

JoPol_wannabe · 06-12-2007, 01:22 AM

Speaking of toliet paper there was a lady on the news the other night and I don't remember her name but they said she eats (and I mean eats) 6 roles of toliet paper a day. Now I have no clue why anyone would want to eat toliet paper let alone 6 roles.

catlover79 · 06-12-2007, 01:22 AM

This reminds me of one of the wedding notices on Jay Leno's Headlines: the Whipple/Butts wedding.

I'm sure those two never heard the end of it.

dawsongirl · 06-12-2007, 03:10 AM

Here's a video of her. A real winner, this one. Just scroll down the browse window and find the Butts video.

http://www.kcci.com/video/index.html

06-11-2007, 06:04 PM	#1
Zoneboy RIP, I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU :( Moderator Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 13, 2003 Location: AT HOME WISHING ALL THIS WAS JUST A DREAM AND THAT I'LL WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE. Posts: 34,418	Woman Named Butts Charged With Stealing Toilet Paper LOL MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa - Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they're chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison. "She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face." Workers had noticed the rolls disappearing from the Marshall County Courthouse much faster than usual, Walker said. Butts, 38, was caught last week after an employee saw her taking three rolls of two-ply tissue from a storage closet, Walker said. Butts insisted it was the first time she'd pilfered toilet paper, but she declined to answer further questions on her attorney's advice. The fifth-degree theft charge, a misdemeanor, normally carries a sentence of less than a year in jail. But Butts could face more time if convicted under the state's habitual offender law because she has prior theft convictions. Walker did not know why Butts was at the courthouse, but said that she did not work there.
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06-11-2007, 06:40 PM	#3
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	I hope they let her keep the toilet paper - three years, she's gonna need it.
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06-11-2007, 06:44 PM	#4
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	Sounds like a Jay Leno headline!!
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06-11-2007, 06:53 PM	#5
Lex Luthor I'm bringing Lexy back Senior Member Join Date: Jun 07, 2005 Location: The Great White North Posts: 2,374	3 years in Prison and no toilet paper for you!
	__________________ I look forward to resuming our verbal judo - Lex Luthor It's a complicated world, Clark. Only the naïve view it in black and white - Lex Luthor Genevieve: "I underestimated you, Lex." Lex: "Well, that’s a common mistake." Lionel Luthor: "We don't need to play games, son." Lex Luthor: "Dad, games are all we got."

06-11-2007, 07:04 PM	#6
Frischman_Fan Who luvs nerds?! I DO!!! Senior Member Join Date: Sep 19, 2003 Location: In the back of Rigby's grocery store. Posts: 1,178	I had a professor in college named Dr. Butt and although we were in college and had to be mature, we couldn't help but snicker whenever someone called out his name. But yea, 3 years...dang! Maybe she just HAD TO GO!!
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06-11-2007, 06:23 PM	#2
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,428	That was pretty funny. But 3 years sounds a little harsh.

06-11-2007, 07:12 PM	#7
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	Man, what kind of diet is this lady on???

06-11-2007, 09:38 PM	#8
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	I'm going to have to turn on Leno and O'Brien the next few nights. This should be hilarious...
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

06-11-2007, 10:46 PM	#9
Dynomite Member Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 10, 2006 Location: near Dayton, Ohio Posts: 579	Make her last name singular, but put dumb in front of it, because that would describe her for doing what she did, if you know what I mean.

06-11-2007, 11:00 PM	#10
EmoJoe Cool cool cool Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 23, 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 71,478	3 years in jail, though?!? O_O they probably wont carry out the max. sentence though.
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06-11-2007, 11:06 PM	#11
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099	LOL 3 years is odd though
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06-12-2007, 01:13 AM	#12
PZelda Two Valeries! <3 Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 15, 2002 Location: I'm STILL missing NYC. :( Posts: 78,223	The sad thing is, the TP most likely isn't the best quality. Ya know, because there's an unspoken law that dictates that every public restroom in the universe has to have ****ty (no pun intended lol) 1- or 2-ply scratchy TP.
	__________________ Cheers behind the couch!

06-12-2007, 01:22 AM	#13
JoPol_wannabe Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 11, 2001 Location: Nebraska Posts: 3,036	Speaking of toliet paper there was a lady on the news the other night and I don't remember her name but they said she eats (and I mean eats) 6 roles of toliet paper a day. Now I have no clue why anyone would want to eat toliet paper let alone 6 roles.

06-12-2007, 03:10 AM	#15
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	Here's a video of her. A real winner, this one. Just scroll down the browse window and find the Butts video. http://www.kcci.com/video/index.html