Monday's Quotes:

[Frank Gannucci]

"Dial J For Janitor":

Ralph: "Why should I cut out bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides, the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight."

Alice: "You don't need anything to hold your weight down. You need something to hold it up."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

(Ralph picks up the burnt jacket.)

Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke, Norton?"

Ed: "No, that is my idea of a burn."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Ralph: "We will lift up the dresser on the count of three and then we will heave-ho. 1...2...3...."

(Ralph lifts it up but he can't.)

Ralph (yells): "OW! WHY DIDN'T YOU LIFT?"

Ed: "We didn't heave-ho."

"Finders Keepers":

(Ralph is playing pinball.)

Ed: "You can still come up empty, you know."

Ralph: "The only thing empty around here is your head."

"Expectant Dad":

Ed: "The whole sewer was swarming with FBI men."

Trixie: "What were they doing in the sewer?"

Ed: "They were looking for wetbacks who were trying to beat the cross-town traffic."

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Ralph: "As usual, I am carryng the whole load on my shoulders."

Alice: "You are carrying the load all right, but it's not on your shoulders."

"In 25 Words Or Less":

(The waiter makes crepe zuzzets [Franch pancakes], he starts a fire on his grill. Ralph sees it and puts the fire out with a fire extinguisher.)

Ralph: "It's a good thing I was here or the whole boat would have been on fire."

Alice: "Ralph, those were French pancakes."

Ralph: "I don't care what started the fire."

"In 25 Words Or Less":

Ralph: "Flakey Wakey's add to the taste..."

Ed: "But take away from your fat little waist."

"Ship Of Fools":

Ed: "I went to Europe once."

Man: "Did you enjoy it?"

Ed: "No, the Germans kept shooting at me."