Friday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (6/12-6/24):

[Frank Gannucci]

(Showtime [aka Showtime East], Showtime HD [aka Showtime HD East], Showtime Too & Showtime Women.)

The movie is 90 minutes long.

PG

Mike Epps as Ed Norton. Regina Hall as Trixie Norton. Cedric the Entertainer as Ralph Kramden. Gabrielle Union as Alice Kramden.

Ralph & Norton hatch a get-rich-quick scheme to get them out of Brooklyn and onto easy street. Standing by their husbands are devoted wives Alice and Trixie, who help their guys make ends meet by being waitresses at a neighborhood diner.

Day Time Channel VCR Plus Codes:
Sunday, Jun 10 10:00 PM Showtime Too 9100923
Monday, Jun 11 9:00 AM Showtime Women 91492
Wednesday, Jun 13 8:15 AM Showtime 2509874
Wednesday, Jun 13 8:15 AM Showtime HD 5769589
Wednesday, Jun 13 4:30 PM Showtime 335428
Wednesday, Jun 13 4:30 PM Showtime HD 37893
Saturday, Jun 16 6:45 AM Showtime 9992351
Saturday, Jun 16 6:45 AM Showtime HD 6707790
Saturday, Jun 16 4:35 PM Showtime 61007622
Saturday, Jun 16 4:35 PM Showtime HD 14704448
Sunday, Jun 17 7:50 AM Showtime Women 1147562
Sunday, Jun 17 6:05 PM Showtime Women 4368524
Monday, Jun 18 6:35 AM Showtime Too 7034857
Monday, Jun 18 6:30 PM Showtime Too 4869895
Thursday, Jun 21 10:30 AM Showtime Women 8390961

All times are Eastern. The movie is on the Pacific version of these channels too. Just add three hours to the times I posted.

(American Life TV):

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

The first VCR Plus Code is for the first showing. The second one is for the second showing.

Sat. June 16, 2007 7p & 11p #25 – “Two Faces of Ralph Kramden”: Ralph is set up as an "insurance executive" by mobsters because he is a dead ringer for their boss (also played by Gleason). Their real boss is fleeing the country with his moll; Ralph, as his stand-in, is due to be exterminated momentarily. Only the intervention of Norton, Alice, and Trixie saves Ralph's life. (VCR Plus Code: 2055/32149.)

Sat. June 16 8p & Sun. June 17, 2007 7p #26 – “The Main Event”: Boxer "Dynamite" Moran is living with the Kramdens and Ralph is his new promoter. His first knockout, strictly unofficial and off the record, is staged for the benefit of the manager of heavyweight contender "Killer" Cuoco. The scheme works until Norton accidentally decks Dynamite. Undaunted, Ralph vows to stay in the fight game. Only this time, he will train Norton for the ring. (VCR Plus Code: 4603/5388.)

Sat. June 23, 2007 7p & 11p #27 – “To Whomever It May Concern”: Ralph, told to turn in his bus driver's uniform, dashes off a scathing letter to his boss, only to realize he was not being fired but promoted to traffic manager. He retrieves the letter, and then mails it again by mistake. His boss receives the letter, but has no one to blame, since it is unsigned. Then Norton stops by the boss' office to plead for another chance for his pal...and Ralph's professional aspirations take another nose dive. (VCR Plus Codes are unavailable.)

Sat. June 23 8p & Sun. June 24, 2007 7p #28 – “Sleepy Time Gal”: Ralph meets a hypnotist, the Great Fatchoomara, at the Raccoon Lodge, and persuades him to put Alice in a trance. That way, she will have to show Ralph where she hides her emergency cash. Unfortunately for Ralph, Alice overhears his scheme and substitutes a note for the money. He doesn't realize until too late, on a train to the Miami Beach Raccoons' Annual Convention, that Alice was wise to him all along. (VCR Plus Codes are unavailable.)

(ABC):

Wed. June 13 & June 20, 2007 8p "Next Best Thing: Who Is The Greatest Celebrity Impersonator?": The June 13th episode: "Auditions in Las Vegas." (The June 20th Episode description is unavailable.)

In each episode, a panel of popular well-known judges -- comedians Jeffrey Ross (Comedy Central Roasts, The Aristocrats), Lisa Ann Walter (The Parent Trap, Shall We Dance?) and Elon Gold (Stacked, Cheaper by the Dozen) -- will use their razor sharp wit and comedic skills as they evaluate, critique and
sometimes skewer celebrity impersonators (two of the people will be
impersonating JACKIE GLEASON AND ART CARNEY) based on how much they
look, sound and act like the celebrity they're impersonating. The judges will determine who will go on to compete in the next round of auditions, while America will vote for the final winning impersonator through a viewer voting system. The winner will receive a grand prize of $100,000. Michele Merkin (Foody Call, Extreme Dodgeball) hosts the show which will audition thousands of people in Los Angeles, New York City, Las Vegas and Orlando. Contestants
impersonate, among others, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Johnny Depp, James Bond, Dolly Parton, Superman, George W. Bush, Neil Diamond, David Letterman and Tony Soprano. Thirty semi-finalists will perform their routines in front of the judges and a live studio audience. The ten finalists chosen by the judges will do one final performance for viewers at home, whose vote will then determine the winner and confer the $100,000 prize and the title of "The Next Best Thing". (June 13th episode: VCR Plus Code for ABC: 67333. For ABC HD: 3752. June 2oth Episode: VCR Plus Code for ABC: 12488. For ABC HD: 3933.)

"Two-Family Car":

Ralph: "All right. You will have the car Monday-Friday. I will have the car on the weekends."

Ed: "Wait a minute. I work those days. You take the car five days and
let me take the car two days."

Ralph: "Okay, your days are Wednesday and Thursday."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Ralph: "I don't remember the song I used to play on this cornette. I got the music right here."

(Ralph plays the cornette. No sound is heard.)

Alice: "Not so loud Ralph. You will disturb the neighbors."

"Young Man With A Horn":

(Ralph has been playing the cornete badly.)

Ralph: "Norton, would you mind taking these clothes upstairs to put on the clothesline?"

Ed: "Are you going to play the cornette?"

Ralph: "Yes."

Ed (taking the clothes): "I will be very happy too."

"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":

(Ed helps Ralph rehearse. Ralph is in the bedroom waiting to get out.)

Ed (reading the script): "Hello there!" (not reading): "Testing. Testing 1-2-3-4. Testing. Woof! Woof! Testing."

Ralph (opening the door): "Let's get going."

"Unconventional Behavior":

Conductor: "Gentlemen, what seems to be the trouble?"

Ralph: "What seems to be the trouble? I'll tell you what the trouble is. First, he makes his and my wife miss the train because he can't keep an eye on them. Then, he comes in here and puts handcuffs on my wrists. That isn't enough. I ask him does he want a drink of water, no. I ask him if he wants something to eat, no. He doesn't want anything until he gets up there and says that he wants a match. Then on top of everything, I have to be handcuffed to this idiot all the way to Minneapolis."

Conductor: "Minneapolis? Gentlemen, this train isn't going to Minneapolis. We are going in the other direction to Norfolk, Virginia."

"Six Months To Live" (Color):

Telegram Man: "I was instructed to give this letter to Mrs. Kramden."

Ralph (taking the letter): "I'm Mister Kramden."

(The telegram man holds out his hand, expecting a tip.)

Ralph: "Your hand is very dirty."

"The Hypnotist Part 1":

Ralph: "Norton, I must be nuts to go out every night when I have a darling wife at home."

Ed: "At least I got a good excuse."

"The Main Event":

Ralph: "You want my salary to leak out?"

Alice: "Your salary coundn't even drip out."

"Confusion, Italian Style":

(Ralph is thinking that Alice is seeing a boy named Harry Vederchi because he
heard her on the phone talking to him and he thinks that is his name when she
said 'Arribaderchi.' Ralph tells her what is wrong with him.)

Ralph: "All right. Harry Vederchi."

Alice: "All right, good-bye."

Credit goes to moviefone.com, imdb.com, goodtv.com, tvguide.com & Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot!