Crushes on co-workers....good idea or bad idea? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Number 9 Dream · 05-22-2007, 08:26 PM

How many of you have ever had a crush (or gotten involved) with someone from work? Did/do you find it to be a good or bad experience? Do you think it's a good idea to get involved with someone you work with?

I've had many, many crushes on people I've worked with over the years at various jobs, but nothing comes close to the crush I have on this new guy working with me now. I'm absolutely smitten with this guy. He's adorable, funny, smart, sarcastic, and my type of guy overall...

Thing is, he already has a girlfriend

(Although he hardly mentions her, not even when a few other girls told him I had a crush on him). I don't know what to do...I know he's essentially hands off, but I can't help wanting to be with him...this hurts!

How do you feel about work-related love interests in general? You can answer this even if you haven't had the experience with it yet

I'm genuinely curious.

tdf4077 · 05-22-2007, 08:33 PM

I can honestly reply I've never had an actual "crush" on a co-worker, but everyone I've ever known who has had a crush on a co-worker has always come to regret it...it's great while you like the person and if it's reciprocated and all...but when you break up or whatnot, it's just awkward.

GARFIELDKOOL · 05-22-2007, 08:44 PM

it can be a good idea if everyone stayed out of your business. but because it's on the job, that's not likley. I dated on the job, and everyone knew about it. I don't like it when everyone's in my personal life who I work with.

I had a crush on a girl on my current job. she had a boyfriend. but she seemed interested in me by always smiling at me, speaking first thing in the morning, and looking at my through a crowd. I was about to make my move when she got laid off. though I didn't want her to cheat on her boyfriend, but I liked her.

Number 9 Dream · 05-22-2007, 08:48 PM

Your situation sounds like mine, Garfield. I don't want him to cheat, of course...but he just jokes and teases with me to the point of me thinking I may have a chance. I don't know whether it's just him being funny, or he's flirting with me...I'm clueless.

And, I'll say it again, but he never once mentioned he had a girlfriend when some girls told him I was crushing on him. I wonder why? And he stands close to me, looks at me a lot, and does really cute things to make me think he's flirting. I am confused!

Tdf, I agree that it can get hard when the break-up occurs...what an awkward situation!

Quote:

Originally Posted by GARFIELDKOOL

it can be a good idea if everyone stayed out of your business. butm because it's on the job, that's not likley. I dated on the job, and everyone knew about it. I don't like it when everyone's in my personal life who I work with.

I had a crush on a girl on my current job. she had a boyfriend. but she seemed intereste in me by always smiling at me, speaking first thing in the morning, and looking at my through a crowd. I was about to make my move when she got laid off. though I didn't want her to cheat on her boyfriend, but I liked her.

Georgia's on my Mind · 05-22-2007, 09:34 PM

ehhh...risky business

catlover79 · 05-22-2007, 10:05 PM

Bad idea!! I'm the type who needs to separate work life and personal life. I've never been in this situation, but I've had co-workers that have dated and in almost every case, it ended badly and affected the work. The one couple who stuck it out only did so after the girl quit and went to work somewhere else. She didn't want the relationship to suffer due to work. They were smart - it's been over 6 years and last I heard, they were still together.

Brian Damage · 05-22-2007, 10:12 PM

It's a bad idea overall. There are some success stories, but when you are young and the last thing you are thinking of is marriage, 9 out of 10 times it ends badly.

If he cheats on his girlfriend with you, what makes you think he won't cheat on you when someone "better" comes along? You don't need to feel awkward at work.

dawsongirl · 05-23-2007, 01:08 AM

I had a crush on a guy I worked with once. Not sure why, guess just cuz he was more that stupid "bad boy" type. And I thought the bosses were too hard on him. But alas, he was married and smoked. And a part of a job that totally ruined a year or more of my life.

Max Whittaker · 05-23-2007, 01:22 AM

Bad idea. Bad, bad, bad idea...

I don't know. I had a horrid experience. But my old boss actually married a co-worker last year. So far so good, and they are expecting their first child in August.

So I know it can work. But I don't think I'll do it again. Ever hear the saying "Don't **** where you eat"?

Indeed...

Max Whittaker · 05-23-2007, 01:26 AM

See... my issue is, work is my life. Insert a co-worker love interest in that, it does nothing but complicate everything-- in my experience.

When a relationship goes bad, it interferes in my own job performance, and my enjoyment slips.

Not worth it.

Yooch · 05-23-2007, 02:46 AM

A very bad idea if either, or both parties are married to someone already, as if that needs to be said. If both are single and available, and they like each other, I don't see any problem with it at all.

The only way it could possibly present problems, is if it's a boss/worker relationship; that's why some organizations (like the military) have a no fraternization rule. Things could get 'political': promotions, raises, accusations of favoritism and so forth.

TVFactFan · 05-23-2007, 11:03 AM

I'm programmed to just have SEXUAL ATTRACTION toward co-workers not the kind of attraction where I would want to go out on a Date

Czas na Zywiec · 05-23-2007, 03:20 PM

Bad idea. Something goes sour and then it's completely awkward trying to work around them, trying not to bring up or have anyone else bring up what's going on between you two. I have a girl like that at work now, we're completely done and she's getting the silent treatment right now from me. Awkward around other people to leave her out of the conversations and not answer her when she's talking to me, yes, but that peice of trash isn't worth quitting my job for, so this is the next best solution.

I'm starting to get his thing for another girl at work but I'm not going to pursue it. I don't need more people with their stupid little gossiping and backtalking around. So all in all, stare all you want at the merchandise, just don't touch it. You'll save yourself the trouble.

TJL · 05-23-2007, 04:03 PM

It's a bad idea. Avoid them at all costs.

TripperFan · 05-23-2007, 05:43 PM

I've had The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

Don't do it! You'll end up living with Ugly!

05-22-2007, 08:26 PM	#1
Number 9 Dream That '70s Girl Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 18, 2005 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,875	Crushes on co-workers....good idea or bad idea? How many of you have ever had a crush (or gotten involved) with someone from work? Did/do you find it to be a good or bad experience? Do you think it's a good idea to get involved with someone you work with? I've had many, many crushes on people I've worked with over the years at various jobs, but nothing comes close to the crush I have on this new guy working with me now. I'm absolutely smitten with this guy. He's adorable, funny, smart, sarcastic, and my type of guy overall... Thing is, he already has a girlfriend (Although he hardly mentions her, not even when a few other girls told him I had a crush on him). I don't know what to do...I know he's essentially hands off, but I can't help wanting to be with him...this hurts! How do you feel about work-related love interests in general? You can answer this even if you haven't had the experience with it yet I'm genuinely curious.
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05-22-2007, 08:33 PM	#2
tdf4077 JaJa Senior Member Join Date: Jan 17, 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,678	I can honestly reply I've never had an actual "crush" on a co-worker, but everyone I've ever known who has had a crush on a co-worker has always come to regret it...it's great while you like the person and if it's reciprocated and all...but when you break up or whatnot, it's just awkward.
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05-22-2007, 08:44 PM	#3
GARFIELDKOOL Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 02, 2004 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 7,204	it can be a good idea if everyone stayed out of your business. but because it's on the job, that's not likley. I dated on the job, and everyone knew about it. I don't like it when everyone's in my personal life who I work with. I had a crush on a girl on my current job. she had a boyfriend. but she seemed interested in me by always smiling at me, speaking first thing in the morning, and looking at my through a crowd. I was about to make my move when she got laid off. though I didn't want her to cheat on her boyfriend, but I liked her.
	Last edited by GARFIELDKOOL; 05-22-2007 at 09:09 PM.

05-22-2007, 10:05 PM	#6
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	Bad idea!! I'm the type who needs to separate work life and personal life. I've never been in this situation, but I've had co-workers that have dated and in almost every case, it ended badly and affected the work. The one couple who stuck it out only did so after the girl quit and went to work somewhere else. She didn't want the relationship to suffer due to work. They were smart - it's been over 6 years and last I heard, they were still together.
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05-22-2007, 10:12 PM	#7
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	It's a bad idea overall. There are some success stories, but when you are young and the last thing you are thinking of is marriage, 9 out of 10 times it ends badly. If he cheats on his girlfriend with you, what makes you think he won't cheat on you when someone "better" comes along? You don't need to feel awkward at work.
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05-22-2007, 09:34 PM	#5
Georgia's on my Mind Senior Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Aug 19, 2001 Posts: 25,054	ehhh...risky business

05-23-2007, 01:08 AM	#8
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I had a crush on a guy I worked with once. Not sure why, guess just cuz he was more that stupid "bad boy" type. And I thought the bosses were too hard on him. But alas, he was married and smoked. And a part of a job that totally ruined a year or more of my life.

05-23-2007, 01:22 AM	#9
Max Whittaker I want Serenity back Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 30, 2001 Posts: 6,180	Bad idea. Bad, bad, bad idea... I don't know. I had a horrid experience. But my old boss actually married a co-worker last year. So far so good, and they are expecting their first child in August. So I know it can work. But I don't think I'll do it again. Ever hear the saying "Don't **** where you eat"? Indeed...
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05-23-2007, 01:26 AM	#10
Max Whittaker I want Serenity back Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 30, 2001 Posts: 6,180	See... my issue is, work is my life. Insert a co-worker love interest in that, it does nothing but complicate everything-- in my experience. When a relationship goes bad, it interferes in my own job performance, and my enjoyment slips. Not worth it.

05-23-2007, 02:46 AM	#11
Yooch Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 07, 2006 Location: California Posts: 3,180	A very bad idea if either, or both parties are married to someone already, as if that needs to be said. If both are single and available, and they like each other, I don't see any problem with it at all. The only way it could possibly present problems, is if it's a boss/worker relationship; that's why some organizations (like the military) have a no fraternization rule. Things could get 'political': promotions, raises, accusations of favoritism and so forth.
	__________________ "The true meaning of America, you ask? It's in a Texas rodeo, in a policeman's badge, in the sound of laughing children, in a political rally, in a newspaper...In all these things and many more, you'll find freedom. And freedom is what America means to the world. And to me." --Audie Leon Murphy June 20, 1924-- May 28, 1971

05-23-2007, 11:03 AM	#12
TVFactFan Member Forum Junkie Join Date: Aug 17, 2002 Posts: 99,099	I'm programmed to just have SEXUAL ATTRACTION toward co-workers not the kind of attraction where I would want to go out on a Date

05-23-2007, 03:20 PM	#13
Czas na Zywiec what up Forum Star Join Date: Jun 28, 2001 Location: Southwest Side, Chicago Posts: 18,398	Bad idea. Something goes sour and then it's completely awkward trying to work around them, trying not to bring up or have anyone else bring up what's going on between you two. I have a girl like that at work now, we're completely done and she's getting the silent treatment right now from me. Awkward around other people to leave her out of the conversations and not answer her when she's talking to me, yes, but that peice of trash isn't worth quitting my job for, so this is the next best solution. I'm starting to get his thing for another girl at work but I'm not going to pursue it. I don't need more people with their stupid little gossiping and backtalking around. So all in all, stare all you want at the merchandise, just don't touch it. You'll save yourself the trouble.

05-23-2007, 04:03 PM	#14
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	It's a bad idea. Avoid them at all costs.
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05-23-2007, 05:43 PM	#15
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	I've had The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Don't do it! You'll end up living with Ugly!
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