Mother's Day Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (5/16-5/27):

[Frank Gannucci]

"Hello Mom":

Alice: "I want you to read this letter Ralph. It was made by a man a long time ago."

Ralph (reading the letter): "'Dear Mom, I'd just thought I'd write and tell you this. A mother-in-law is the most criticized, the most misunderstood and the most defenseless of all women. The average women must be clever enough to know when to speak, but a mother-in-law must know when to keep silent. She must be very wise, wise enough sometimes to withhold advice, although she knows the answer to the problem. A mother-in-law must sit on the fence between her own child and the child by marriage. Somehow she must keep her balance. She must lean backwards until her spine aches or else she's accused of being partial and she isn't permitted the luxury of hurt feelings or tears. If a person could put themselves in their mother-in-laws place, weigh her in the balance, being completely fair; they'd nominate her for the Presidency of the United States, and she'd be the first women to make it.'" (not reading): "This is pretty nice. Who wrote it?"

Alice: "You did."

"Hello Mom":

Trixie "Ed, what did you say about my mom?"

Ed: "I said that she was the most mean, most rotten, sweetest person that I ever met."

"A Matter of Record":

Alice's Mom: "Alice, you look thin. Are you getting enough to eat?"

Alice: "Sure I am. You won't say that if you look at our food bill."

Alice's Mom: "Well, I don't doubt that the bills are high. But, how much of the food are you getting?"

"Great Jewel Robbery":

Alice's Mom: "Hello Ralph."

Ralph: "Hello. How did you know it was me?"

Alice's Mom: "I could hear the floor sag."

"The Next Champ":

(Dynamite Kid is punching in the air.)

Ed: "Boy, look at him Ralph. He fights like a panther. He reminds me of the greatest street fighter I ever saw."

Ralph: "Who was that?"

Ed: "Trixie's mom."

"Quiz Show":

Ralph: "All I know is that your mother has been asking your father the same question for a long time and he hasn't been able to answer it yet."

Alice: "What question is that?"

Ralph: "Why don't you get a job?"

"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":

Alice's Mom: "When I got married, I had a more modern stove than that."

Ralph: "When you got married, fire wasn't even invented."

"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":

Alice's Mom: "Why Eddie Townscend was begging to marry her (Alice.)"

Ralph: "Eddie Townscend? Eddie Townscend? Are you kidding me? That big, fat tub of lard."

"Raifitt, Brooklyn Style":

(Ralph just challenged Alice's Mom to a fight. He goes to the bedroom
seconds later.)

Alice's Mom: "Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!"

Ralph (opening the door): "Crow! Crow! Crow!"

For all mother's out there, have a Happy Mother's Day!

Credit goes to Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot!

Now on for my schedule:

All times are Eastern.

The movie is around 90 minutes long.

(Showtime Family & The Movie Channel [aka The Movie Channel East.])

PG

Mike Epps as Ed Norton. Regina Hall as Trixie Norton. Cedric the Entertainer as Ralph Kramden. Gabrielle Union as Alice Kramden.

Ralph & Norton hatch a get-rich-quick scheme to get them out of Brooklyn and onto easy street. Standing by their husbands are devoted wives Alice and Trixie, who help their guys make ends meet by being waitresses at a neighborhood diner.

Day Time Channel VCR Plus Code:
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 8:15 AM Showtime Family 1357931
Wednesday, May 16, 2007 2:30 PM Showtime Family 73429
Thursday, May 17, 2007 12:05 AM Showtime Family 7158307
Saturday, May 19, 2007 9:00 AM The Movie Channel 599890
Saturday, May 19, 2007 8:00 PM The Movie Channel 884345
Tuesday, May 22, 2007 10:00 PM The Movie Channel 423174
Thursday, May 24, 2007 11:30 AM Showtime Family 506328
Thursday, May 24, 2007 8:30 PM Showtime Family 238415
Friday, May 25, 2007 8:30 PM The Movie Channel 797859
Sunday, May 27, 2007 5:30 PM Showtime Family 589737

(AmericanLife TV):

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

The first VCR Plus Code is for the first airing. The second one is for the second airing.

Sat. May 19, 2007 7p & 11p #17 – “Flushing Ho”: The Kramdens and Nortons, unable to make ends meet around tax time, decide to move to a large two-bedroom apartment in Flushing and split all expenses. The plan fails when Ralph complains of a dwindling food supply and insufficient time in the bathroom, so they all pack up and move back to Chauncey Street. (VCR Plus Codes: 9529/16105.)

Sat. May 19 8p & Sun. May 20, 2007 7p #18 – “Sees All, Knows All”: A Coney Island fortune teller tells Ralph that he is going to commit a murder within a week. Ralph wants Alice to move in with her mother till the week passes but Alice refuses. Ralph moves in with Ed and gets so exasperated at him that he nearly kills him. In the end, Ralph manages to get himself arrested for safety by assaulting a police officer. (VCR Plus Codes: 8277/3933.)

Sat. May 26, 2007 7p & 11p #19 – “Be It Ever So Humble”: Rather than pay a $5 rent increase, Ralph buys a duplex in the country and takes the Nortons as his tenants. He forces them to sign a 99-year lease. But he is a negligent superintendent, and the Nortons attempt to break the lease with a 3:00 A.M. party and a firecracker in Ralph's fireplace. (VCR Plus Codes: 8423/89959.)

Sat. May 26 8p & Sun. May 27, 2007 7p #20 – “Hair To A Fortune”: For
$500, Ralph and Norton buy a phony hair-restoration formula from a sharp promoter in Central Park. Over Alice and Trixie's objections, they mix up their first batch and try it on Ralph's boss. Using the formula he loses all his hair.
(VCR Plus Codes: 7171/NA.)

Credit goes to honeymooners.net, tvguide.com, imdb.com, moviephone.com, goodtv.com & Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot!